Dr Alexander Fox

Welcome to “Choice Counselling at Dundee” and I am Dr Fox.

Here is a quick introduction to who I am:

* I am a registered member of the BACP and a supervisor for other therapists. I work with a wide variety of clients.

* I see clients in Dundee and St. Andrews and also do online work through a Harley St. practice.

* I have a PhD in English literature and am also working towards another in philosophy. My extensive academic background means I work a lot with academics and students.

* I am co-author of a series of CPD accredited workbooks based on Angela Duckworth's best-selling book 'Grit', which can help professionals develop the resilience they need to succeed. My co-author, Peter MacMillan, was one of Hong Kong's most eminent competition law lawyers and he is now CEO for Meisterline, a lawyer ratings service.

These books can be found here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ADr+Alexander+Fox&s=relevancerank&text=Dr+Alexander+Fox&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_2

* I co-host a mental health podcast called The Reading Cure (https://the-reading-cure.captivate.fm/), which explores seminal works of fiction and nonfiction to examine what insights they offer. Dundee University wrote an article on me and the podcast: https://www.dundee.ac.uk/stories/reading-cure-podcast-exploring-link-between-mental-wellbeing-and-books

* Below you can read numerous client testimonials. Here is a typical one:

Alex is an exceptional counsellor. I was immediately put at ease when I first met with him and, during our subsequent discussions, he was patient, friendly, flexible and insightful. I think Alex’s vast knowledge of counselling theory makes him stand out as a practitioner; the discussion of this was incredibly helpful for me in establishing a perspective from which to view my personal emotional issues. The sessions with Alex had a significant and lasting impact on my life, and I would enthusiastically recommend him as a counsellor.

* I've also enjoyed sharing my knowledge with various organisations, Here is a testimonial from Lloyds banking group:

Dr Fox conducted a session for Lloyds Banking Group on how to deal with health anxiety in this current climate. The session was part of Mental Health Awareness Week and was conducted for over 800 of our colleagues. The coping strategies Alex outlined were extremely useful and the session as a whole was truly fantastic and thoroughly enjoyable. We were all extremely delighted with Alex’s holistic approach and I would strongly recommend others to lean on Alex’s expertise in this area.

This was an intro to who I am. Please read on for further information about: A) How effective counselling, in my opinion, works; B) Common mental health issues and how they might be addressed in therapy.

Section A: What is therapy? Demystifying the process

Although the public are more knowledgeable about therapy than in the past, it is still useful, I believe, to provide prospective clients with my own account of how successful counselling works. This will hopefully serve to demystify the process and provide clients with a clearer idea of what to expect.

In my opinion, there are three essential dimensions to effective therapy, which I’ve termed: 1) emotional support; 2) clarification and 3) reframing & finding solutions.

Emotional support

~Who listens? First line from a Paula Fox novel.

All of us need emotional support, but we often struggle to find it in our everyday lives. There are several possible reasons for this:

* Our friends and family are leading busy, challenging lives as much as we are so they are preoccupied with their own struggles.

* We may not have a good support network around us.

* Our friends and family may have a set idea about how to help us and we don't feel understood and heard enough.

* Our friends and family may find it awkward to confront our problems.

Although opening up, if possible, to friends and family is a key part of self-care, attending counselling sessions is nevertheless one of the safest, most dependable ways of ensuring that you receive regular emotional support.

There are two main ways that I would provide you with emotional support:

* Whether in the counselling room or online, I seek to listen to you without judgement and without an underlying agenda. This is so that I can understand better what is really going on for you. When you feel heard and understood that even in of itself helps a lot, as you are no longer alone with your pain.

* I aim to get to know you as a unique person to help you work out how you really feel and what you want for yourself. In a safe environment, you have the freedom to explore with me how you feel towards other people and what choices might best suit you.

Clarification

When clients attend counselling for the first time, they usually bring a set of challenges that they've struggled to resolve themselves. One of the main reasons for this struggle is that the problems are nearly always unclear in some way. For example, a client may be unsure of

*how they feel about an important issue.

*why they are responding in a certain way.

* what steps to take to move forward with their lives.

Clarifying the problem, then, is one of the key steps in the counselling process in my opinion, as a clearer idea of what must be addressed helps in coming up with a workable plan for how to resolve it.

There are three main ways in which I would help you clarify your particular problems:

*I would help you understand your life story, which involves clarifying how the past may be affecting the present.

* I would help you articulate your underlying negative core beliefs. These beliefs shape how you understand life events, and when they are negative or unrealistic, they lead to a more pessimistic perspective.

* I would draw upon a number of different therapy approaches, which would mean that we would possess a richer, more comprehensive understanding of the problem, as we could cover the different angles.

Let us look at each of these in turn (or alternatively, you can skip to the 'reframing' subsection):

Understanding your life story

It is a truism that we all have a history, including our problems. The difficulties that we face today nearly always have something to do with our current situation, yet seldom are these problems unrelated to our past. Good therapy aims to clarify a client’s problems by showing, where relevant, how they are either a repetition of past difficulties, or the current challenges are being unduly distorted by past (traumatic) experiences.

A key tool for clarifying a client’s life is an exploration of their own story. The writer Salman Rushdie powerfully describes why working creatively and insightfully with your own autobiography can be so therapeutic:

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts.

So, as Rushdie intimates, your life story is your way of defining who you are, which in turn affects how you understand your present, your past and what kind of future you think is possible. Exploring your life story helps to clarify:

* how the past might be subtly shaping how you see yourself now.

* how the past and the present shapes the kind of future that you think is possible for yourself.

In a fundamental sense, then, when clients attend counselling it is likely that the style and content of their life story constrains them, as their stories define a past that imprisons them in a painful present and makes it harder for them to move forward into a happier future.

Since I have a PhD in English literature (my thesis was on the work of the Nobel prize winning playwright Harold Pinter), I am adept at helping my clients understand their life stories better, as I aid them in clarifying how the past has a grip on the present, and how their stories can be 'rewritten' to create a better, more hopeful future.

Uncovering core beliefs

The renowned linguist Wendell Johnson once remarked 'what we look at is not what we see'. What he was seeking to challenge and correct with this pithy statement was our all-too-human tendency to believe that our interpretation of the world exactly corresponds with how the world ‘is’. To paraphrase a phrase from general semantics, all of us are predisposed to think one’s map of the world is the territory.

Most of the time, mistaking the map for the territory in our lives does not prove much of a problem, because once we are adults, we usually have a ‘workable’ enough map to achieve our goals. However, one of the most insidious ways in which we can mistake the map for the territory is when we are suffering from emotional problems. In such cases, it is all too easy to be unaware that the perspective (or map or frame) that we are using to approach an issue is actually distorting how we see the problem-indeed it may be the main component of the problem.

Given this unawareness of how our perspective-or, more accurately, our underlying core beliefs-shapes and distorts how we see a life challenge, a key aspect of clarifying a problem involves the therapist helping the client put these core beliefs into words and then subjecting them to critique. Since my first degree was in philosophy, I have had extensive training in clarifying what people believe and helping them to amend their negative core beliefs.

Using different therapy approaches

When trying to clarify and understand a client’s problems, it is necessary for a therapist to bring some kind of perspective, some kind of theory to not only help sort out the relevant issues from the irrelevant ones, but also to give an intimation of how best to resolve the problem (all therapy theories have their own analysis of how emotional problems arise and how best to tackle them).

My training is in pluralistic counselling (I have a Masters degree in counselling), which contends that one of the most helpful ways to work with clients is to use a variety of therapy theories and approaches. Two of the main advantages of this approach are:

* using a number of different approaches allows for a more flexible way of working. If one approach doesn't suit a given client, there are other approaches that can be drawn upon.

* since a pluralistic counsellor can apply a number of different approaches to a particular problem, they aren't limited to understanding it just one way. Indeed, by using different approaches, which each define the problem in their own way, a pluralistic counsellor can tackle more of the dimensions of the issue.

Reframing & Constructing Solutions

While understanding the nature of your problem in a supportive environment can prove therapeutic in of itself, most clients want to achieve some form of constructive resolution. This is the third dimension of therapy and essentially involves two elements:

*reframing: how we look at our problems may be the problem. For example, if we suffer from imposter syndrome, and therefore have a tendency to discount our achievements, we may interpret a promotion as simply luck. Reframing involves finding a different, more constructive perspective in which to view our circumstances.

*constructive solutions: having now understood the nature of the problem, this step involves determining how one can construct a better future.

In our work together, after understanding the problem in enough depth, we will work together to either reframe the issue and/or find constructive solutions that can have beneficial life-changing consequences.

Section B: Common problem areas

The previous section gave you an idea of what I consider the essential ‘ingredients’, so to speak, of effective therapy. In this section, I detail how I might tackle a variety of common problems.

a) Resolve your relationship difficulties

Since healthy relationships with others play such a huge part in our overall happiness, it is unsurprising that relationship difficulties can so adversely affect our mental health. If you are suffering from the ill effects of a problematic relationship, I will help you, as an individual, define what is needed to heal or break away. More specifically, in individual counselling, I will help you a) identify the problematic behaviour patterns, which includes often how you communicate and b) utilize a variety of strategies that allow you to connect better with your partner.

It must be stressed, though, that individual counselling examining a relationship issue should not be seen as a replacement for couples counselling.

b) Addictions/compulsions

Practically all of us are addicted to something, and nearly all of us find ourselves being driven by desires and fears that we seem to have little control over. However, some addictions and compulsions are even more serious, as they threaten our health, undermine our relationships, and challenge our sense of who we are.

There are several ways that I work with clients with addictions and compulsions. Firstly, addictions and compulsions can sometimes be viewed as habits and we can work together to break these habitual forms of behaviour. Secondly, addictions and compulsions, as costly as they are to the person, are usually forms of escape from a dreaded emotional reality that is feared even more than the unfortunate consequences of pursuing an addiction or compulsion. Through our work together, we can face the underlying problem, resolve it, so that the addiction or compulsion is no longer needed. Finally, addictions and compulsions are symptomatic of inner conflicts, as well as outer conflicts with other people, and pinpointing and resolving these helps the client move forward.

c) Overcoming anxiety

Out of all the mental health problems, the most common by far is anxiety. Whilst not all of us will get clinically depressed, all of us get frightened, and sometimes this fear starts to feel overwhelming.

There are many effective ways that I can work with you on overcoming your anxiety. One approach, the CBT way, is to help you examine your thinking and change your unrealistic, overly protective thoughts into more realistic beliefs about yourself and the world; this cognitive approach is complemented with encouraging you to gradually face that which you fear. When you work with me, you will receive plenty of support in confronting your anxiety.

Another common technique is the psychodynamic approach, which encourages clients to see their current fears as being related to past adverse events and traumas from their childhoods. The basic reason why this can be effective is that once we become consciously aware of the original cause of the fear, and we start to understand it from the perspective of an adult, the fear no longer has the same power over us. Instead of reacting with fear, we begin to be able to more adaptively respond to a situation.

I will mention one last approach here, known as ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy). This is one of the newest cognitive therapy approaches to anxiety, which is based on the premise that we accept that anxious feelings are part of life and we learn to detach from them and move towards that which is more worthy of our attention. ACT offers many techniques that help clients detach from their anxieties (this is not the same as completely removing them) and reconnect with what they value.

d) Depression

Depression is such a common mental health problem.

Here are a few of the many ways I can help clients with their depression: a) using a CBT approach, we can examine and critique the negative automatic thoughts that often fuel your depression; b) utilizing solution-focused therapy, we can work together to start imagining life as you would want it and then I can help you to see how to build that better, happier life; c) using ACT, I can help you to detach from your negative thinking and focus more on what you want; 4) since depression often involves suppressed-‘stuck’-feelings, most often anger and sadness, I can aid you in acknowledging your previously buried feelings and to feel them so you can process them.

e) Achieve greater self-acceptance

One of the major tasks of therapy is to help clients see that they have a right to be who they are and that any weaknesses they possess need not be grounds for fundamentally rejecting who they are.

I have many innovative ways of working with you to achieve this goal from using techniques taken from compassion focused therapy (e.g. fostering better self-talk) to more philosophical approaches that come from REBT (rational emotive behavioural therapy) that counsel ways to accept yourself unconditionally. Together we can tackle a variety of difficulties relating to self-acceptance.

f) Consolidate your successes

In my work with high-performing clients in law, finance and the arts, a key part of the process is helping them build upon successes they have already achieved. While such clients may be very successful, they might not always be so aware of a number of things relating to that success, such as a)what kind of strengths they might have and how best to utilize them; b) the factors that played a key role in their successes, which might provide a basis for further success and c) how to overcome their personal problems to achieve more success. If this is the kind of work you wish to undertake, then we can work together to provide answers to the above issues, so that you can be even more successful, whether you’ve achieved your dream position yet or not.

g) Loss: our greatest teacher

Life is, in one sense, a series of losses. Many are small (if not always trivial) and some are most significant: whether it be the loss of a partner, a child, our youth, or the heyday of our successes, we must learn to cope with the passing of time and the absence of what is still so precious to us.

To paraphrase psychologist Carl Jung, it is in our darkest moments where the gold is to be found, as life-changing losses may often be very painful, even debilitating; nevertheless, such bereavements teach us the need to re-evaluate our lives, to get better acquainted with our underlying inner resilience, and to find a means to still have a fulfilling life.

When we work together, we can find a way of understanding your grief that respects how important whatever you lost was to you, while also helping you to move forward in a constructive fashion. A key part of this process is being able to arrive at the point that you can give yourself permission to have a future, as grief can sometimes trick us into believing that moving on is a betrayal of what you have lost. Grief work will allow you to remember and honour the past, yet not be entirely defined by it.

h) Apathy and Suicidal thoughts/gestures: finding the 'why' again

I was standing in the snow by my car, looking up at the sky, when I realized that meaning had fled my life~ Allen Wheelis from his novel, "The Seeker."

Sometimes our problem is not so much a specific issue but more a general sense of malaise. What we used to enjoy no longer moves us, we can feel disconnected and indifferent to others, and our days seem to stretch out like some infinite grey plain.

When we are at our most despairing, our painful numbness may morph into a compulsive, negative call to action. Suicidal thoughts and perhaps even attempts become a possibility.

Yet, as counter intuitive as it may seem, I contend that you do not want to end the existence of you as a person, but rather to end the pain that you are feeling. Suicide is seductive as a solution when you have equated you and your pain, and you feel that both are forever entwined.

That is not the case, though. Through the right kind of therapeutic work, you can a) manage to come to terms with your pain; b) we can work together on finding solutions to your problems, which includes reconnecting with your fundamental values and what drives you in a positive direction (this can be called finding your 'why') c) we can also work on self-forgiveness for actions that you have taken in the past that you feel guilty about. Your regrets can indeed be honoured and learnt from without them becoming something to berate yourself over.

Individual Counselling (1 hour): £65

Couples Counselling (1 hour): £65

These are a few more testimonials from clients about their experience of working with me:

"After a particularly rough time in my life, I came to Alex seeking help in better understanding the basis of my negative feelings about myself. From the first session, Alex was both inviting and insightful. His incredible knowledge of subjects ranging from literature to philosophy and media made me feel not only at ease – he was relatable and understood what I was saying to him – but also helped me to look further inside myself and to connect the dots between life events and current mindsets.

With his help I feel I have come a long way these last few months; I have a better understanding of my own mental health and with his advice and suggestions, I am now taking proactive steps to rectify some deep-rooted cognitive biases. Alex has listened to me and carefully considered which avenues would be beneficial to explore, based on his insight and professional opinion. He has helped me to come to terms with myself, and while I may not be 100% there, I am much closer to my goal than I was before our sessions.

For anyone searching for a warm, friendly and empathetic therapist, I would highly recommend Alex. I have felt that all of our work together was purposeful and valuable, and I look forward to continuing to get know both myself – and Alex – better in the future."

"Alex is an exceptionally insightful counselor. His empathetic approach combined with a highly rigorous intellectual foundation, helped me understand the personal issues I needed to address and the best ways for me to manage them. Without his guidance, I would not have been able to make important life decisions as sensitively nor as effectively for my own sake and for the well being of my family. His personalised approach was key to gaining my confidence and enabling me to move forward on issues with which I had struggled for years."

"For years I knew I had issues and finally plucked up the courage to find a counsellor. I had anxiety, feelings of guilt, and an inferiority complex. Family issues dominated my thoughts and I felt a sense of guilt, shame and blamed myself. Alex helped me look at these issues differently and with his knowledge and experience helped me break free from the past and stop feeling guilty and I now know my own personality. I felt very at ease,  was not scared to open up, he was approachable. I would definitely recommend him".

"Alex was able to work with me to identify many underlying issues that I have struggled with. I have found the process to be interesting and enjoyable. He provides a relaxed and comfortable environment in which I feel I can be open and talk frankly. Alex has helped me considerably in exploring my thoughts and introduced me to a number of techniques and exercises that I can use on a day to day basis to deal with anxiety as it arises."

"I’ve found Alex to be very attentive, approachable and knowledgeable. Alex has helped me work through issues in both my personal and professional life, helping me gain insights that I would not have been able to reach on my own. In addition, Alex has also equipped me with the tools that will help me deal with any future difficulties that I may encounter. I found that Alex also takes the time to get to know you so that he has a deeper understanding of you as a person; which, I think, helps him to discover what will be the best and most effective way to help you. Alex also a deep understanding of philosophy and I’ve been impressed with how he’s managed to sometimes integrate this into my sessions, where appropriate, and make it relevant to my situation. Alex has helped me a great deal and I’ve learnt a lot from him; I can’t recommend him highly enough.

"I've been having counselling with Alex for several months now. Initially, I wasn't sure how long I wanted to go; I had planned just to get me through my 'crisis' at the time. However, the more I went, the more relaxed I became and felt there was more I definitely wanted to work through. I find Alex very calming, honest..and most importantly for me..logical! I also didn't know how I would be with a male counsellor, but I can genuinely say I've worked through a lot of issues. My main concern is trust, or lack of, however I already feel a difference in my thought pattern. Slowly but steadily, I'm noticing little changes in the way I'm thinking. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Alex to anyone looking for counselling"

"Alex has helped me to create strategies to help with immediate anxiety problems as well as helping me to face long standing issues. Alex has helped me to explore many strategies in a safe, secure environment and encouraged me to seek out others in my own time. He has also helped me to vocalise my thoughts, feelings and ideas. Alex has a way of turning my thoughts back to me to help me make my own conclusions. Through these sessions I am learning how to manage on my own and in the sessions in a safe way. I feel I am being supported and guided through the wilderness of my own mind to some clarity. I am not constricted by a maximum (or minimum) number of sessions and am able to be supported in what I want to achieve, in whatever timescale that I need as an individual".