Jake: "I attempted suicide dozens of times."
I recently came out of a bout of depression that lasted approximately four months. It all started from a simple negative thought about myself, which spiralled out of control and transformed into a whirlwind of misery and despair. I lost my girlfriend, many friends, and my own, old regular self because of it.
I ended up self-harming (slashing my arms and punching walls) and going on to attempt suicide dozens of times. I got help from a school counsellor, my local youth support service, and CAMHS and now I'm back to my old self again. And I couldn't be happier!
The most important thing to take from this story of mine is that you can find happiness too.
If you are depressed, anxious, or feeling as if you're slipping into either of them, remember that you are not alone and you will always have support. I know myself it's easier said than done, but please contact a professional and seek advice and support from CAMHS if you haven't already.
It may be nerve-wracking at first, but those feelings will pass and you will become so much better from doing it. In addition, never beat yourself up about the way you're feeling. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain and cannot be controlled when it's off the rails without support from a professional.
So don't think that it's all down to you to sort yourself out. I hope this story has helped you in some way and that you'll be soon on the road to recovery - I care about each and every one of you (even though I don't know you personally). Take care and good luck! Jake