Avoidant attachment: shame and defences against intimacy
People with a “dismissing” pattern of attachment have a huge repertoire of defences that they use to keep others – including their therapists – at arm’s length. They may be full of anger and lash out at others, or are self-controlled and perfectionist, demanding high standards of themselves and other people and are contemptuous when these are not achieved. They can be self-sufficient, driven or evasive. The core difficulty is shame – they are not acceptable to themselves.
This seminar focuses on the inner lives of highly defended people, their relationships with other people and with themselves. It will address difficulties in establishing a therapeutic alliance and helping clients who are hypersensitive to shame, exposure or intrusion.
A specific focus for therapeutic work will be proposed. We will also consider the impact of the therapist’s own core pattern of attachment.
For further information and to book
About One Therapy London
Linda Cundy is an attachment-based psychoanalytic psychotherapist in private practice. She has taught for two decades on counselling and psychotherapy courses and is also an independent trainer specialising in attachment, human development, and clinical practice.