Siobhan Lane Counsellor and Psychosexual Therapist
I offer a confidential counselling service that covers both Hull and the East Riding. My private practice is based in an anonymous and confidential setting within a 5 minute drive from Hull City Centre; in an ideal location for those getting into the city centre or going out, minutes from the A63, just off Hessle Road, Boulevard with free onsite parking available.
Please telephone for further details and for an informal chat or if you would prefer send me a text or an email and I will reply to you as soon as it is possible.
Hello, a Little About Me…..
I am an experienced and fully qualified Relationship, Individual and Family Counsellor and Psycho Sexual Therapist. I place such value on my role as a Counsellor and am very passionate about helping people when they are facing one of life’s challenges, as it is at times like this; people tend to feel overwhelmed and desperate and often struggle to see a way forward, without the right support.
Counselling can offer you a safe, confidential place to talk about your life and any issues that might be confusing, painful or uncomfortable that you may need help dealing with. Counselling can help you identify areas where change may be needed and guide you through this stage in your life.
Working with you I will offer warmth, understanding, empathy and a non-judgemental approach in a relaxed and comfortable setting. I will help you gain a better understanding of your current circumstances to enable you to move forward and wherever possible, make positive changes.
The therapeutic relationship with your Counsellor is very important and I believe it is essential you feel completely comfortable and at ease with the Counsellor whom you choose to let into your very private world. It is for this reason that I do not charge for your 30 minute Initial Consultation giving us the opportunity to discuss your needs, for you to hear how I work and see how it would feel to work together further.
I trained and work as an Integrative Counsellor, drawing upon theories and techniques from different approaches such as; Psychodynamic, (your past/present relationships) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT (the impact of your thoughts and feelings upon your behaviour), Systemic (what’s happening around you, for example within your family). Essentially, the Integrative Approach allows me to tailor the therapy to your individual need as therapy is not a ‘one size fits all’ approach.
However, don't worry if none of this makes sense to you right now as the emphasis of my approach is the relationship between client and counsellor. What is most important is I will be there for you, to listen to your problems, and help you, to the very best of my ability to move forward, through what is probably a very difficult period in your life.
If you are reading this you are probably in a place where you are seeking support, and you are now one step closer to getting that support…keep going….I look forward to welcoming you as a client and to working with you.
Training, qualifications & experience
Relate Certificate in Relationship Counselling Herbert Grey College, Rugby
AFT Certificate in Family Therapy Association for Family Therapy
Therapeutic Counselling Certificate Centre for Child Mental Health
Post Graduate Diploma in Psycho Sexual Therapy University of Hull
ATSAC Professional Certificate in Sexual Addiction Warwickshire College, Henley
The Hall Recovery Course for Sex Addiction Paula Hall, Leamington Spa
*All qualifications can be viewed upon request
I continue to engage in ongoing Professional Development Training/Courses/Workshops/Conferences to ensure my skills, knowledge and practice are kept up to date (certificates available to view, upon request).
I am an experienced and fully qualified Relationship, Individual and Family Counsellor and Psycho Sexual Therapist with 20 years’ experience helping people with a variety of issues – I work with individuals, couples, families and young people and welcome clients from the LGBTQI Community.
I am also offer Training, delivering a variety of courses, for example, Counselling Skills, Family Issues and Managing Stress, to both the public and private sectors.
Over my 20 years working as a qualified Counsellor and Therapist I have respected individuality and uniqueness, not discriminating, ensuring therapy is available to all and have helped many couples, individuals and families work through a variety of issues, such as, relationship breakdown, communication problems, bereavement, depression, bullying, anger, stress, trauma, low self esteem, physical, sexual and domestic abuse, redundancy, adoption, as well as sexual issues relating to difficulties, addictions and identity.
I have regular supervision, both individually and as part of a group of qualified Counsellors, working within the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) guidelines for ongoing professional development. I am an accredited member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (ATSAC).
I hold a current Enhanced DBS Certificate and I have Private Indemnity Insurance.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Anorexia nervosa
- Attachment disorder
- Binge-eating disorder
- Bipolar disorder
- Bulimia nervosa
- Career counselling
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Childhood bereavement
- Childhood bullying
- Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Feeling sad
- Gender dysphoria
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Internet addiction
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Postnatal depression
- Pregnancy and birth
- Relationship problems
- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
- Separation and divorce
- Sex addiction
- Sex problems
- Sexual abuse
- Work-related stress
- Young carers
Photos & videos
Your 30 minute Initial Consultation is free of charge; This gives us an opportunity to discuss your difficulties and to decide if it is right for you to have further sessions and if so, if you feel you would like to continue working with me further.
I am qualified and experienced to work within many areas of therapy, differing fees apply;
♦ Young People
£45 Per Session
♦ Psycho Sexual Therapy
£50 Per Session
♦ Sex / Porn Compulsivity
£55 Per Session
All sessions are 50 minutes and payments by cash at each session
I appreciate for some people daytime appointments can be difficult, therefore I can offer later appointments between 6pm-8pm, however evening appointments will incur an extra fee of £5 per session.
Counselling Room is wheelchair accessible
Payments made by cash at each session
48 hours notice is required to rearrange or to cancel an appointment. The full fee for the appointment must be paid for if cancelled 48 hours or less beforehand.
So you're considering counselling, but not quite sure? Here is a brief overview of what you may consider:
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the strains of everyday life mount. Pressures of work, family, money, health, affairs, rejection, loss – the list is endless can all take their toll on a relationship. Suddenly the person we sought comfort from, we now reject and the relationship that once recharged us leaves us feeling drained and disappointed.
You may feel the love in the relationship is diminishing, replaced by resentment and anger and depending on your own experiences of family life and previous relationships each of you may deal with this differently. Although arguments can be painful and unpleasant, they are common in all kinds of relationships. But disagreements don't have to end in hostile silence or a screaming match, communication is at the heart of all relationships.
Couple counselling can help you recognise and address destructive patterns of behaving and communicating. New relationship skills can be learned, enabling you to deal with discussions on emotive topics, improving communication and decreasing conflict within the relationship, leading to a healthier and happier relationship.
Relationship Counselling can help you whatever your sexual orientation and relationship status, and whether you come alone or with a partner.
At some stages in your life you may feel you need to speak to someone and get help with a problem. That problem can be a specific difficulty related to your personal life, work or a relationship with a partner or family member. It maybe that you feel your life is not in your control and you need direction to achieve your goals and happiness.
During these difficult times we can struggle to make sense of these times on our own and may need extra support to help us move forward and make changes. Throughout my career I have helped many people address and change issues they were facing, such as anxiety, stress, bereavement, relationship issues, family issues, sexual issues and work problem. These are just a small example of issues that individual therapy may help you with.
Many families can be a big source of love, support and encouragement but sometimes relationships within families can be put under everyday pressures and face unexpected change. This can leave some family members feeling isolated or disregarded, finding it difficult to adapt or accept the changes, causing family conflict.
For example, coping with a new baby, siblings not getting along, difficulties with parents/in-laws or facing challenges parenting teenagers as they strive for more independence. There may be difficulties adjusting to new family dynamics due to divorce, separation or living within a new step-family – ‘blending two families together’ and new personalities trying to get along.
Family Counselling can help family members address destructive patterns of behaving and communicating, enabling them to learn new effective ways to communicate. This will help reduce conflict within the family and strengthen relationships enabling the family to support each other through difficult times and unite as a family.
During my many years experience working as a Family Counsellor I have worked with lots families with varied needs and dependent on the needs of the family the sessions can be attended by a variety of family members. For example, parents and their children, step parents and step children, in-laws and partners, siblings, grandparents, close friends, there is no limit to who you include within your family sessions, it is based on the uniqueness of your family and who you believe is important within your family and who could help to resolve your family difficulties.
Children & Young People Counselling
For children and young people counselling offers a safe and confidential environment to talk to a trusted adult who won’t judge them, and who isn't their parent, as some things are difficult to talk to parents about. Just like adults, young people can experience a range of difficulties in their life in which counselling could be helpful.
For example, anxiety, low confidence and self-esteem, challenging relationships at school due to breakdown of friendships, bullying, peer-pressure or exam stress. There may be difficulties at home adjusting to new family dynamics due to divorce, separation or living within a new step-family or issues relating to experiencing abusive behaviour, such as physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
Any of these emotions and difficulties can leave you feeling helpless, hopeless and very alone, often resulting in low self esteem and loss of confidence.
During my many years experience working therapeutically with children and young people I understand some young people can find communication difficult, and initially may struggle to express their emotions or difficulties. I acknowledge the value of being able to build a warm and trusting relationship, to enable you to feel safe and respected.
I apply the same principles when working with children and young people as I do with adults. I offer respect, warmth, empathy and compassion and trust by working together I can help you find your own way in life through personal growth and increased confidence.
Sessions for children and young people are age-appropriate and tailored to their individual needs. However, for young children sessions are more likely to include elements of play, art and creativity to encourage communication.
If you are a young person and feel that counselling may be helpful for you, please call or email me so we can discuss what might be the next best step for you.
Sex is a very personal thing, and for many people talking about sexual issues can be difficult and embarrassing. However, talking about the issues and seeking help is often the best thing you can do to improve your sex life as sexual issues can arise at any time in your life for a range of reasons and can have a significant impact upon the couple relationship.
It’s natural to want better sex and sometimes there are specific psychological or medical reasons for your difficulties. Many sexual problems are psychological in origin and this is what psycho sexual therapy deals with. If you are in a relationship which is essentially sound but it is suffering because of sexual problems then PST, more commonly known as ‘sex therapy’ can help.
I understand there can be concerns about what coming for sex therapy involves so to reassure you, you would never be asked to do anything in the counselling room other than talk. Having explored the problems with you I will design a therapy programme for you including exercises for you to do with your partner in the privacy of your own home to achieve the goals set out by you the client. We will meet regularly to discuss your progress and to deal with any issues that arise. The treatment plans are all individually tailored for the needs of the individual / couple using a range of theories including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Sexual Compulsivity generally referred to as Sexual Addiction is the term used to describe any sexual activity that feels 'out of control'. That might be sex with a partner, viewing pornography, masturbation, visiting sex workers, or any number of other sexual activities. Although many of these activities don't cause a problem for most people, a person experiencing sexual compulsivity feels compelled to engage in their chosen activity, in spite of the problems it may cause in their personal/family/work relationships.
Sex can become addictive in a similar way to alcohol and other drugs. During sex, our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good and some people keep seeking the high these chemicals produce. Like substance addictions, the body gets used to these chemicals and the sufferer soon finds that they need more and more sex in order to achieve the same buzz. As with chemical addiction, in between the highs of sexual fulfilment are the lows. Most people feel an immense amount of shame about their behaviour. They also feel regret, remorse, anxiety and isolation, most feel powerless to change.
Unfortunately these powerful feelings often cause the sufferer to seek out sex as a way to escape. Sex becomes a pain reliever, an escape from the very problem that it has created itself.
Access to porn nowadays is much easier due to the widespread use of the internet and what can start off as a harmless stress or sexual release can for some lead to compulsive usage where you have little control over your use of internet pornography. You might initially plan to go on the internet for a short period of time but then find yourself on a pornography website and before you know it hours end up passing.
You may even have escalated from viewing porn to escaping into your virtual world enrolling on dating sites, meeting people online for cybersex, arranging one night stands with strangers or starting serial affairs.
Excessive use of sexual porn/fantasy can change how you feel about partner sex as it can even cause lack of desire and erectile dysfunction. If your use of the internet is having a negative impact on your life and starting to have priority over other interests, for example, friends, family and romantic relationships you may need support.
Sex/Porn Compulsivity - Do I Have a Problem? Please answer the following questions 'Yes’ or ‘No':
1) Your sexual behaviour has a negative impact on other areas of your life such as relationships, work, finances, health, professional status?
2) Your sexual behaviour contradicts your personal values and potentially limits life goals?
3) You’ve repeatedly tried to limit your sexual behaviour or stop it all together, but failed?
4) You’re more tempted to engage in sexual behaviour when experiencing difficult feelings such as stress, anxiety, anger, depression or sadness?
5) You’re secretive about your sexual behaviours and fearful of being discovered?
6) You feel dependent on your sexual behaviour and struggle to feel fulfilled with any other alternatives?
7) You’ve noticed you need more stimuli or risk in order to achieve the same level of arousal and excitement?
8) You struggling concentrating on other areas of your life due to thoughts/feelings about your sexual behaviour?
9) You’ve thought there may be more you could do with your life if you weren’t so driven by your sexual behaviours?
10) You feel as if your sexual behaviour is out of your control?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to 5 or more of the above questions, you may benefit from making an appointment for a full assessment to explore a way forward.
If You Think You Suffer from Sex/Porn Compulsivity The first step to overcoming the problem is to acknowledge that you are in the grips of compulsivity and that your behaviour has damaging consequences. You need to accept that this problem will not go away by itself and you need to take personal responsibility to recover from your addiction. The majority of addicts find it very difficult to change their behaviour on their own. You may be able to curtail the behaviour for a while, but often a cycle develops that is extremely hard to break
How I can help you?
I provide both individual therapy and group treatment programs to help people with sex and porn compulsivity to stop their unwanted behaviours. Therapy can be especially beneficial for exploring the deeper unconscious processes that often cause and fuel the behaviour and helping you to develop a full understanding of the everyday events and feelings that can trigger behaviours as well as helping you to develop long term relapse prevention strategies. As a professional Sex Compulsivity Therapist I can help you to explore your concerns about your sexual behaviour, understand where it began for you and whether it was due to difficulties in making and maintaining relationships with others, a traumatic experience, or if it was an opportunity that then became a habit. The recovery work will help you to find other ways of making yourself feel better about yourself without harmful consequences and finding the road back to a healthy sexual lifestyle.
Support for Partners I also offer support for partners as most partners are devastated to discover their partner has issues with sex and/or pornography and many find it difficult to believe it’s even true. Others may have been battling for years to discover the truth and may feel relieved when the truth is finally out. Partners need their own space to recover from the shock of discovery and someone who understands the problem who can help them decide what their future will hold.
I hold the ATSAC Professional Certificate in Treating Sexual Compulsivity and have undertaken The Hall Recovery Course Training. I offer a compassionate, ethical practice and due to the sensitive nature of this work, all clients can be assured of total discretion and absolute confidentiality, as with all other areas of my practice.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|