Paul Lipman - MBACP. Individuals and Marriage and Relationships.
Also If you wish you can find out much more about me and what i do on my website above.
I came into full time counselling following the help I needed in 2006. I spent 5 years with National organisations helping at the more challenging end of mental well being and since then in my own practice, working alongside both individuals and couples who come with every imaginable kind of difficulty.
I know how tough asking for help can be and how the thought of talking to a counsellor can be daunting and whilst I have skills and experience to help with all kinds of problems I believe having lived with and worked through my own anxiety and difficulties in counselling makes the difference.
I felt vulnerable and didn’t know what counselling was about. Also scared, both because I couldn’t solve my problems and that wasn’t like me and I was ashamed to let someone else really see how I wasn’t coping and worried I might break down in front of them. So I might have some idea about some of how you could be feeling right now.
Like mine was, I want your experience in counselling to be a positive one where you can look forward to our time together and firmly believe the greatest influence on how successful counselling will be for you is our counselling relationship. It is important you can feel comfortable talking about the more difficult parts of what is troubling you and confident in allowing me to guide you through.
I provide an encompassing supportive and relaxed environment and allow a trusting respectful relationship to naturally build between us based on being open, informal, genuine and by collaborating. You will also find I’m compassionate by nature about whatever you have to say and sensitive when working through what can be difficult. So yes counselling can be tough at times but also empowering.
In counselling you will come to understand yourself and your difficulties and then together can make the positive changes needed to overcome them and also break any unhelpful negative patterns of thinking or behavior. Also learning new tools and techniques which you can use to reduce symptoms and speed up meaningful change.
My aim for you and all my clients is they can leave feeling better and confident in knowing how to keep well long term and go about building the life and having the relationships they want for themselves.
Marriage and Relationships
Many who come to see me often feel hurt, misunderstood, frustrated and distant from each other. Counselling though can make a positive difference and many go on to enjoy a relationship which is stronger than if they had never had their difficulties.
I have no interest in taking sides or judging what has happened; and whilst there is is no road map to a successful relationship what I do know is that when we can communicate in respectful ways and replace "judgment" with understanding ourselves and each other more deeply answers to even the most difficult relationships can be found.
I will create a calm and safe space and help you:
- Know how to relate to each other in ways that develop warmth and love and allow you to feel good about yourself and each other.
- How to keep the fun and intimacy in your relationship and wanting each other.
- Ways of approaching conversations and being with each other which can repair hurts and wounds, enabling you to feel safe and trust each other.
- To be able to work together with your different personality and sensitivities in ways which fulfill your needs without becoming a bone of contention or competitive.
- Understand the role your history can play in your relationship and how any negative coping patterns keep you stuck in negative cycles.
- Ways to understand each other and find solutions during even the most difficult conversations without them breaking down or escalating into arguments.
- What next
I understand how difficult it can be to take the next step. That’s why you are welcome to call me for an informal chat or arrange an initial no obligation meeting after which you can decide if having counselling will be helpful for you.
Training, qualifications & experience
I have BACP Accredited qualifications in Integrative counselling and psychotherapy, Diploma qualifications which include relational development conflict resolution, Gestalt coaching and additional specialist training for those suffering from Trauma which includes abuse and rape including those with PTSD. I have also developed an in depth knowledge of how early life events continue to silently impact in adult life and lead to such difficulties as anxiety, depression, low self esteem or behavioural difficulties such as addiction, obsession and or paranoia.
I spent my first 5 years with National counselling organisations such as Mind, often helping at the more challenging end of mental health;with those in relationships, running groups and working to help those with longer term or extreme difficulties and specifically those experiencing anxiety and depression. Since then in my own practice.
Academic Diploma in Integrative Counselling.
WPF Certificate in Psycho-dynamic counselling
Child development and behaviors
Relational Development and Personal Communication
Trauma and recovery
Person Centred, Transctional Analysis, Gestalt and Relational counselling.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Depression, anxiety, anger, self-harm, eating disorders, attachment disorders, loss and grief, phobias, panic, sexuality, abuse, self harm, obsessions, addiction, post traumatic stress, Bipolar and Asperger syndrome.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma. (PTSD)
Specialist training by Babette Rothschild, one of the worlds foremost leading experts and authors in treating Trauma and PTSD. This means I understand the Autonomic Nervous System which is vital in choosing safe approaches.
BACP Accredited - Couples , Relationships & Communication
See my website for full details..
Anger Programs/ Courses
I have run Police funded Anger management courses for a Southern based counselling organisation.
BACP Accredited - Creativity
Working with: Arts, imagery, visualization, role play, body language and mindfulness techniques.
Other (experiential training)
Group Therapy / Psycho educational workshops
Gestalt systemic and family constellation therapy.
Gestalt experiential therapy
Gestalt Group facilitation and coaching
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Asperger's syndrome
- Attachment disorder
- Avoidant personality disorder
- Bipolar disorder
- Body dysmorphic disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Career counselling
- Dependent personality disorder
- Domestic violence
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Feeling sad
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Histrionic personality disorder
- Internet addiction
- Learning difficulties
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
- Panic disorder
- Paranoid personality disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Personality disorders
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Postnatal depression
- Relationship problems
- Schizoid personality disorder
- Schizotypal personality disorder
- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
- Separation and divorce
- Sex addiction
- Sex problems
- Sexual abuse
- Suicidal thoughts
- Work-related stress
Other areas of counselling I deal with
With regard to counselling, I have over the years maintained a particular interest in developing help for those who's difficulties are of a deeper nature and longstanding. I have always been curious about how past experiences can unknowingly live on within us and continue to silently effect how we think, feel and behave many years later and keep us from solving our difficulties now or from building the kind of relationships we want.
As a result i have developed approaches which can help with most kinds of difficulties because to some degree or another we form our ways of coping in early life, often leaving us with unhelpful patterns of thinking, feeling and behaviour. Together we can identify yours and work to disconnect from them. This leaves you free of difficult feelings, a silenced inner critic and clear minded and able to bring out and have others see your qualities.
Marriage and Relationship counselling: £70 - 55 min.
Individuals: £60 - 55 minutes.
I also offer counselling from Caterham (CR3).
I am committed to offering safe and effective counselling and:
- Retain Professional indemnity insurance
- Abide by the BACP Code of ethics
- Commit to ongoing professional development, keeping up with the latest advances and knowledge.
- Collaborate with other professionals if helpful, without breaking confidentiality
- Have professional clinical supervision to ensure I offer effective therapy and which is a BACP requirement.
- Never help outside my area of competence or experience.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
I can offer appointments Monday to Friday 8:45am to 8:30pm. .
Types of client