The Affinity Centre
29a Water Lane
When reading through these profiles I imagine it is easy to be overwhelmed, difficult to know how to proceed. It occurs to me that in our relationships what we most value are compassion and warmth, sensitivity, the feeling of being understood. These are the hallmarks of the therapeutic alliance.
In times of gloom and despair our spirit can fail us. It may be that you view therapy with a feeling of dread, that you’re afraid you’d get it wrong, that you’ll not know what to say, not know where to start. The possible circumstances which may have brought you here are infinite in their variety. It is certainly the case, for example, that when faced with a personal crisis life can on occasion threaten to get the better of us. Everything we once took for granted now seems in doubt. We can be discouraged by poor self-esteem, crippled by panic attacks, overcome by a sense of hopelessness and sorrow, confusion and fear. At such times, when love and understanding seem scarce, when loneliness and isolation might engulf us, when shame or fury, terror or desolation, is our constant companion, it can be a comfort to talk to someone, someone perhaps who radiates light in a world of darkness. To some, such a picture might seem overstated, absurdly dramatic, unduly cheerless; to you it might be reality.
Perhaps you no longer find pleasure in things. It may be that something strange, something frightening, is happening but it’s hard to identify, to describe. You may have relationship concerns, feelings of self-disgust, fears you can’t explain, of going mad, of being out of control. You may feel worthless, lost, adrift, unsure of who you are, like you don’t fit in, like no one cares or understands, afraid that nothing makes sense, that your life should have been different, that it lacks purpose.
It might be that your concerns are more vague, less distinct, or that you feel they are not legitimate or that they are too great or too embarrassing, that you cannot be helped. You might have the idea that you wish merely to bring about change, to change your thoughts, your emotions, your conduct. It may be that you have resigned yourself to your place in life but wish for kindness and support, or perhaps you seek only to understand why your life has turned out as it has, to consider the significance of your past, to explore the attachments that may have shaped you. I am firmly of the opinion that our lives, our choices, our fates, far from being unfathomable, can be explained, can be made sense of, that apparent mysteries can be illuminated.
Please feel free to call or drop me a line, and we can begin to get to know one another. Thank you.
Training, qualifications & experience
Level 5 Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CPCAB)
Level 4 Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling (ABC)
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Bipolar disorder/Manic depression
- Domestic violence
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Feeling sad
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Panic disorder
- Physical abuse
Our first session will be free of charge. For subsequent sessions my fee is £40 per hour.
It is my conviction that the surest index of a therapist’s effectiveness is to be found not merely in his knowledge and his experience, but in his character and his commitment. A psychotherapist is, as I see it, whatever his flaws and limitations, equal parts teacher, exemplar, psychologist and philosopher, one whose life’s work it has been to consider the human condition. I am reminded in this regard of Trevor Howard, in Brief Encounter, speaking of ‘a sense of vocation’, of ‘a deep-rooted, unsentimental desire to do good.’
A therapist, even the most independently-minded, must borrow from those who have gone before, must resolve to combine his own philosophy with those of an assortment of thinkers whose works he has scoured for enlightenment. I have been influenced, for example, by Socrates and his idea that the unexamined life is not worth living, and by Aristotle’s observation that self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom. I am struck by William James’s command that we talk to ourselves rather than listen, and by Dale Carnegie’s reflection that almost the only problem we have to deal with is choosing the right thoughts. I am drawn to Nathaniel Branden’s judgement that self-image determines destiny, and to Seneca’s fancy that the Stoic sage was in such control of his thoughts as to be invulnerable to emotional disturbance. I have been motivated by Carl Rogers and his theory that, in therapy, the relationship itself is the cure; by Freud’s view that the essential quality in a therapist is inherent insight into the human soul; and I have found inspiration in Peter Lomas’s conviction that amongst the principal characteristics of a therapist should be strength, patience, integrity and a capacity to love.
It is possible, of course, that on this matter I am not entirely objective but psychotherapy, I am convinced, can be a gift, a turning point, a transformative experience. It can be fascinating, amusing, enlightening. It can be life-changing, a haven, a sanctuary, where life slows down and we can escape the chaos. It can encourage self-awareness, self-understanding, self-acceptance. It can allow us to conquer fear, guide us towards insight and perspective and clarity. It might induce us to examine our assumptions, to assess our philosophy, to consider life’s purpose, and promote perhaps a greater sense of fulfilment, happiness and peace. Thank you for your time.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client