Lucy Dows - BA (Hons), PgDip, MBACP.
Whenever we begin to feel ‘off’ the first question we ask ourselves is, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ We look at those around us and wonder how everyone else seems to have it together whilst we’re barely getting through the day. To make matters worse we tell ourselves that we must be ‘weak’ or ‘defective’ and that we need to suck it up.
There’s a false assumption that talking about your problems is indulgent and will only make them worse but the good news is that the opposite is actually true. Talking about what's bothering you can be a huge relief and frees up space for something new. You won’t lose any life points for admitting that you’re having a hard time. In fact research shows that admitting to our difficulties often strengthens our connection to others. Given that most of us will feel lonely and/or isolated at one time or another this doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
You currently find yourself navigating the online world which leaves you overwhelmed and questioning whether you’re doing life right. Am I making the most of it? Have I hit the socially sanctioned milestones and achieved everything I set out to? When you fall short of your high expectations personally or professionally you might find yourself face to face with the fear of failure. Usually we go one of two ways. We either double down on our efforts to prove our worth, (hello anxiety), or we give up and succumb to self criticism, (enter depression). Amidst a culture that glorifies 12 hour work days and where busyness is worn as a badge of honour it’s no wonder that you’re feeling increasingly frazzled as you strive to keep up.
Human beings are relational creatures and we’re hardwired to seek connection and community. Problems arise when we start to believe that there’s an ultimate way of living/being/doing which only succeeds in pitting us against ourselves and each other. When we buy into the fantasy of shiny people with shiny lives it becomes even harder to admit to our vulnerabilities and share them with others. Nevertheless our shortcomings and eccentricities are what ultimately make us human.
Training, qualifications & experience
I work predominantly with millennials who are feeling the pressure to perform both personally and professionally. This can often lead to perfectionism, social anxiety and low self esteem. Maybe you're stuck in a negative thought pattern or behaviour that you'd like to change but don't know how. Or perhaps you're feeling something that you're struggling to make sense of. Therapy can provide a useful reflective space to begin to untangle what's going on.
You don’t need to have hit rock bottom to come to therapy. Perhaps you’ve achieved some of the things that you want to in life but still feel like there’s something missing. You might seek therapy in a time or crisis or in calmer periods when you simply want to work something out with the help of someone trained and objective. Being curious about your thoughts and feelings is the first step towards beginning to do things differently.
Focus on finding someone who you have chemistry with. Don’t get too hung up on different modalities and instead find someone you feel a connection with, someone that you like and can build trust with. I’m not a blank screen and I won’t leave you guessing. My job is to help you find the best way forward with honesty, humour and an open mind.
We live in an age where therapy is no-longer a dirty word. It’s not navel gazing. It’s a feature of modern life. Underpinning everything that we do is our desire to address the core question of how we can live in better health, balance and happiness.
To learn more about how I work you can find me at www.lucydows.com
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.
All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Accredited register membership
Accredited Register Scheme
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Face to face and online therapy.
Each session will last 50 minutes. Please contact me directly for fees and availability.
I have a limited number of concessionary spaces available. Please specify your interest when you get in touch.