KAREN LONGMORE Registered Member MBACP, DIP. HUMANISTIC COUNSELLING
01243 371673 / 07708 616923
Are you finding life difficult to cope with and do you need someone to talk to about your issues? Within my Counselling Service, I offer a Free Initial Consultation Session, where we can meet to discuss your needs and expectations, and whether you think counselling is right for you.
Welcome to Healing Ways Counselling. My name is Karen Longmore. I offer a safe, calm, supportive and confidential environment, where your thoughts and feelings can be explored concerning past or present issues. I offer both Individual and Couples Counselling on a short-term or open-ended basis, which can be daytime or evening sessions. I have a dedicated therapy room at my private practice, which is set in peaceful and comfortable surroundings
I work in a Humanistic way incorporating the following approaches into my work: Person-Centred, Gestalt, Transactional Analysis and some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I tailor the way that I work to suit the particular needs of the Individual client or Couple. My approach is warm and caring and it is also client led. This means that we will work together on the issues that you choose to bring to the session each time.
I believe that the relationship between counsellor and client(s) plays an important role in the success of the therapy. Therefore, I would be working at establishing a good rapport and building up trust in the relationship between us. I would do this by being empathic and actively listening to everything you say, in order to demonstrate a deep understanding of your personal experience. This, in turn, validates your unique experience, and allows you to feel that you are being truly heard. I will also accept and value you positively as an individual person. In addition, I will strive to relate to you in a real, genuine and open way.
Everyone will experience emotional difficulties or issues at some time in their lives. This could involve feeling confused, overwhelmed or that life is out of control. Counselling offers you the time, space and opportunity to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe, supported and non-judgemental environment. This enables you to gain more clarity and understanding about your situation which, in turn, brings about more personal awareness. Increased awareness can help you to feel more empowered, so that you can make informed choices on ways of moving forward in your life. I believe that everyone has the innate ability within themselves to heal and grow and reach their full potential.
Aims of Counselling:-
a) Look beyond the presenting issues to possible underlying causes.
b) Identify what might be stopping you from reaching your full potential.
c) Help you understand yourself better and to accept yourself.
d) Change behaviour to that which is more productive for you.
e) Encourage you to use your inner resources to become more self-sufficient.
f) To increase confidence and self-esteem.
g)To develop coping strategies, in order to be able to deal with stressful situations or times of crisis more effectively.
Couples Counselling - My role is as a facilitator to help couples to explore their own thoughts and feelings, in relation to any issues, conflicts, misunderstandings and miscommunication, that they may be facing in the relationship between them. During the session, couples will have the opportunity to take turns in actively listening to the other partner speaking, and expressing his/her feelings about a particular situation - the aim being to "feel heard and understood by your partner". Once the couple have gained more of a mutual understanding about what is occurring in their relationship, they can then explore ways of negotiating their differences and find more effective ways of communication, as a way of moving forward.
Aims of Couples Counselling:-
a) Improving communication together, both on an emotional and a practical level.
b) Improving your ability to negotiate and to compromise more successfully.
c) Better acceptance of your own personal boundaries and individual responsibility.
d) Greater ability to respond in a more flexible and tolerant way in the relationship.
Some of the main areas in which I help people with are:-
Anger Management - We are all likely to feel angry at times. Anger occurs when we feel that we have been unfairly treated or disrespected; or that others have broken our rules, standards or expectations. We can also feel angry if someone threatens us or our family; or if we do not feel safe. When this happens, the body's alarm and survival mechanism of "fight or flight" is activated and adrenaline is pumped around the body to prepare us for action. So, anger is a way of protecting us from danger. However, angry feelings can sometimes be hard to manage, and when it involves hurting ourselves or others, then it can cause problems in our lives and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.
Counselling offers a way of exploring thoughts and feelings in order to identify the triggers causing the anger, and if there are any recurring patterns of behaviour. Beneath anger there are deeper feelings and emotions going on such as hurt, upset, sadness and loss, and counselling offers a way of exploring, expressing and releasing these feelings in a safe way. This can bring about healing. In addition, counselling can help you to find anger management strategies that work for you, so that you are able to manage the anger more effectively.
Anxiety - Anxiety can occur when we are faced with a difficult situation, or when feeling threatened or fearful. It causes feelings of apprehension, dread, uncertainty, fear and constant worrying. Just like anger, it is the body's way of responding to being in danger and activates the "fight or flight" response. Anxiety is associated with a future threat, and the anxious person is preparing themselves to cope with a future problem, which they anticipate will cause some kind of harm if not prevented from occurring. People often experience a general state of worry or fear before confronting something challenging such as an exam or interview, which can cause some mild anxiety, but this can usually be managed. However, the difference is when the anxiety becomes so severe that it starts to impact on the person's life so much that they have difficulty functioning normally. Continuous anxiety that extends over long periods of time can also lead to depression.
Counselling offers a way of exploring thoughts and feelings to identify and address the underlying factors associated with the anxiety, and establishing when you first felt anxious. It can also help you to explore your patterns of thinking and beliefs about the world to see if they are healthy or unhealthy beliefs and whether they work for you in your life now. In addition, counselling can help you to find strategies and techniques for managing the anxiety more effectively.
Bereavement - When you lose somebody close to you, whether it be a parent, child, spouse, partner, sibling or friend, through a death, accident or illness; it can be an extremely painful time. Bereavement is about loss, grief and mourning. Lots of feelings and emotions can come up such as sadness, loneliness, anger, fear, guilt, pain, blame, love, hate and so on; and these feelings can be overwhelming at times and hard to deal with . Each person will experience grief and loss in their own way, and work through things in their own time.
Counselling offers a way of exploring thoughts and feelings; and ways of releasing these feelings in a safe and supported environment. This can help you to start to accept the reality of the loss, and to work through the pain and grief that you are going through. Counselling can also help you to develop new coping skills and ways of adjusting to an environment in which the deceased is missing. Eventually, when the time is right for you, there will be a sense of letting go, re-organising your life and moving on, and counselling can help to support you while you are going through this transition period.
Working with Creative Arts - I am aware that some people have difficulty in talking about their problems and expressing themselves. Therefore, I also offer the option of working creatively as being another avenue in which you can connect with your inner most thoughts and feelings. This could involve working with a variety of art materials, stones or sandtray. You do not need to be a brilliant artist in order to work in this manner, as there is no right or wrong method of doing this. Working creatively can bring unconscious feelings to a conscious level in the form of an image or symbol, which can then be explored. This way of working can be an effective and powerful tool, and the whole process can be incredibly healing and carthartic.
"I was initially nervous, but soon felt at ease. My problems seemed so huge and almost insurmountable, but you were kind, considerate, and helped me understand the counselling process, or journey as I now know it. The facilities are excellent, very private, relaxing and comfortable. On a scale of feeling good about myself, I have gone from a 2 to an 8 out of 10"
"I have regained a lot of the confidence that I lost over the years and feel a more balanced person, who is now able to focus more on the positives in my life rather than the negatives. I am now able to walk away knowing that all of the things that I have learnt and put into place, will help me in the future. I cannot recommend my counsellor highly enough."
"I found being able to offload my feelings very helpful, because they had built up over a longer period of time than I had realised. I found learning different coping strategies, such as calm breathing and taking care of myself, to be very beneficial. I now feel much more in control, much more back to my old self, but with a few subtle changes. I now feel happy to move on with my life."
"I am more relaxed, happier, and back to my normal self. Before, I was pretending and putting on an act to be the person I used to be - now I am back to that original person! I feel that I am back on my feet again, and feel able to do it on my own."
"I have found myself again - the true me! I am aware that there will be obstacles in my path, but that I have got enough tools to deal with them."
"I have a much greater understanding of myself and the root of my difficulties, which helps me to overcome them where possible, and to accept the situation when not. I feel much more positive, and can see a way forward."
"Easy to talk to, very friendly, put me completely at ease - a relief knowing I could talk to you freely.
I am a totally different person - I actually do have a life and an enjoyable one! I am more confident, more assertive, and I really love being me."
"Image therapy has helped me to open up my emotions, and I found the Inner Child work very beneficial. I am now in a happy and stable place."
"I found the counselling worked really well for me. I found reflecting back very helpful, and when I stalled you offered working with the sandtray and using art therapy, explaining clearly how it works. You made the process manageable by breaking it down into smaller pieces - isolating something significant and then exploring it. I feel hugely different now - feeling a lot calmer in my head, and much more equipped to cope."
"It was a good/relaxed experience, despite being anxious about coming along - you made it easy for me to open up! I am now feeling a lot better, a lot happier, and more content within myself."
"Really liked the way the counselling was structured - learn it first, once you have got more understanding and awareness, then can move forward. Tailored to what I needed and flexible.
Feeling much happier, more confident, more relaxed, less stressed, and my communication has improved."
"During the initial few sessions, we were so unhappy and unable to communicate that we had separated. However, over time we have been able to work together to resolve our problems as a couple but, more than that, we have developed as individuals too. We have been guided by Karen in learning skills of communication, how to be in an effective relationship , and given the tools to continue this work in the future."
"The biggest thing for me was not being judged! This helped me communicate more effectively - I had someone willing to listen to me! I feel a lot more confident and, at long last, I am being honest and truthful! I feel that I have overcome the problems that I came to you with."
"I am now on a completely different page of the book - feeling a lot more positive, realising that I am responsible for my own actions, and feel that I am now able to deal with different situations."
"I found doing the Mindmap and handouts really helpful. I also really like doing the positive affirmation cards. I now feel a completely different person - confident knowing who I am, what I want, knowing what I will and wont tolerate, and being happy doing things for myself".
"Feeling a lot more confident, and now have the awareness for a healthy relationship in the future, in terms of boundaries and communicating more effectively."
"Really appreciated your observations and your calmness. You have guided me through the process with compassion, and you have always let me control the pace. Now feeling far more confident in my ability to cope with my anxiety, I am a lot happier with who I am, and I am no longer judging myself against others."
Training, qualifications & experience
Diploma in Humanistic Counselling - University of Chichester
Certificate in Counselling Skills - University of Chichester
Creative Arts Therapy Module - University of Chichester
Certificate in Couples Counselling - Basingstoke Counselling Service (30 hours training)
Advanced Certificate in Relationship Therapy - Fareham, Course designed by Juliet Grayson, (Cosrt Approval, 84 hours training) in the following six modules: The Fundamentals of Working with Couples; Communication and Difference; Sex and Ageing; Couples in Conflict; Meeting Their Partner's Needs and Dealing with Affairs.
Nine days of Specialised Training with PARCS (Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service) on Attachment; Trauma; Transference & Countertransference; Shame; Boundaries; Sexual Issues & Sexual Abuse; Law & Ethics; Domestic Abuse and Mental Health.
Continued Professional Development Workshops attended:-
- Embodied Imaginative Approaches to Trauma
- Beyond a Common View of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
- Anger Management
- Anxiety - The Fear of Oneself
- Trauma and Recovery
- Eating Distress and Body Image
- Sexuality, Prejudice and Diversity
- Working Creatively to Engage Young People
- Working with Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
- Autism and Asperger Syndrome Awareness
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- Solution Focused Skills Course (2 day workshop)
- Inter-connectivity- A Relational Perspective
- Working at Relational Depth (Professor Mick Cooper)
- Challenging Children and Teenagers (Dr. Margot Sunderland)
- Dysfunctional Families (2 day workshop)
- Binging, Boozing and Brief Intervention - Alcohol Awareness
- Exploring Loss
- Self Harm - Cut It Out
- Neuroscience - From Neurons to Neighbourhoods (2 day workshop)
- Mindfulness in Psychotherapy
- Mindfulness based Stress Reduction Programme (8 week course)
- Professional training in the Therapeutic Use of Mindfulness (3 day workshop)
- Working with the Body in Counselling and Psychotherapy
- Shadows in The Body
- Thinking about Guilt and Shame
- Shame in the Therapy Hour
- Working with Shame Toolbox
- Working Therapeutically with Disordered Eating
In addition to my private Counselling Practice, I have over eight years experience working in various Voluntary Organisations. I have three-and-a-half years experience as a Volunteer Counsellor at the Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service (PARCS), offering counselling and support to men and women who have experienced sexual violation in the past, or more recently. I also have five years experience of working for Off-The-Record (OTR) in Havant, firstly as a Support Worker for two years and then as a Volunteer Counsellor for three years, counselling young people from 11 to 25 years. Additionally, I have over a year's experience of working for The Carers Support Service in Chichester, counselling adults who need support in their role as carer to a spouse, partner, child, parent or relative. The three organisations have given me valuable knowledge and experience of working with a diverse range of people.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
- Panic disorder
I offer a FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION SESSION.
Thereafter, I charge £40 per hour session for an Individual
and £45 per hour session for Couples counselling.
Concessions are available for students or those on a low income.
I have my own Private practice at my home in Southbourne. I have a dedicated Therapy room, which is very serene and calm, and offers a safe and confidential environment. The room is situated in the grounds of a peaceful and relaxing garden. There are parking facilities available if you are travelling by car. Alternatively, I am close to Southbourne Station, and there is a regular bus route nearby (No. 700 - Stagecoach to Southbourne). Please contact me for further details.
I adhere to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy's (BACP) Ethical Framework for the Counselling Professions..
I am a member of the Hampshire Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (HACP)
I attend monthly Clinical Supervision to support my work.
I have Professional Indemnity and Public Liability Insurance to support my Private Practice.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 10am to 8pm
Types of client