Carol Lightowler

I am an integrative counsellor who draws from a number of therapeutic traditions in order to develop a bespoke way of working which suits individual clients and their particular difficulties.  I am also a qualified clinical hypnotherapist and can integrate that into my work with you alongside the "Rewind Technique" with those who have experienced trauma or who have phobic responses.

I work on a short-term, long-term, or open-ended basis with

• Individual adults
• Couples

I am a registered and accredited member of BACP (the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy). I appreciate that finding a counsellor might be a daunting process, but try to make it as comfortable as possible for you and to help you to assess whether you might feel comfortable in working with me. I believe that it is the quality of our relationship which determines whether our work together will be useful or not. I encourage you to question or challenge me if something does not feel comfortable.

I have been working as a counsellor since 2006 and have experience of working with a wide range of issues in a variety of settings:

• Therapeutic work of up to two years with adults within a generic charitable counselling agency in Leeds
• Counselling parents of children attending Morley schools
• Counselling teenagers as part of a local authority targeted youth support service
• Counselling staff and students in a secondary school and Pupil Referral Unit
• Counselling teenagers in a CAMHS commissioned service
• Counselling individuals, couples and young people in private practice

Why Counselling?

Perhaps there has been a recent event which has thrown you off balance, or you might have sensed for some time that things were not quite right. You might be experiencing some of the following:

• Feeling totally flat and without feelings, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions
• Constantly criticising yourself, but feeling powerless to make changes
• Finding no enjoyment in life
• Always feeling exhausted and without motivation
• Withdrawing from people and activities
• Holding onto poor relationships, or allowing good relationships to suffer
• Feeling out of control
• Using food, drink or other substances or behaviours to manage your feelings
• Not treating yourself or others as you feel you should
• Worrying about every little thing you do, or not caring about anything at all
• Haunted by painful memories

Counselling offers a safe and confidential space in which to make sense of these and other experiences without fear of judgement so that you can:

• Gain peace of mind and accept yourself
• Feel less fearful
• Begin to develop more satisfactory relationships
• Start to become the person you would like to be.
• Enhance your sense of well-being and self-esteem
• Develop a richer understanding and awareness of yourself
• Explore your thoughts, feelings and behaviour and understand how these might contribute to your difficulties
• Develop the ability to resolve your difficulties
• Manage stress
• Identify and set goals
• Feel more alive and in control of your experience
• Begin to make appropriate changes
• Start to heal from earlier pain
• Leave traumatic experiences behind

I usually offer weekly sessions, but this is negotiable, particularly with couples, or near to the end of our work together. Sometimes we will agree tasks to experiment with outside our sessions and discuss your experience in our next session.

Generally, I work in a conversational way which encourages the full involvement of my clients, but where appropriate, I will use creative, cognitive behavioural or mindfulness techniques if these might lead to enhanced understanding, or the ability to manage powerful emotions. I may also integrate hypnotherapy within my work where it might be helpful to work directly with unconscious aspects of  the mind. Whilst integrative therapy draws on a range of traditions and techniques, in my work there is always a strong focus on relationships, whatever the issue which is brought to counselling. For example:

• Your relationship with yourself
• Your relationship to your life
• Your relationship to others
• The loss of someone or something which has been important to you

Counselling can provide an opportunity to experience a familiar relationship difficulty, but to work through it and to experience a different outcome. This can provide the confidence to behave differently in your everyday life.

What Clients Have Said About Our Work Together

"I've gained a better sense of self and self worth. I've learned to value myself more and to stop beating myself up over other peoples' actions, over which I have no responsibility or control."

"I feel 'me' again, and that has made me the happiest I have felt in a long time. My painful memories are laid to rest and happy memories keep me going. For that I am eternally grateful."

"I have rediscovered what I used to do for fun- some things 30 years ago."

"What has been useful? Her insights-very very valuable. Her patience. Her smile."

"I have chosen to end now, feeling healthier and having lots of positive goals, but I will miss coming each week. The learning has been phenomenal."

"Carol listened and never pushed me, She also made me feel very safe whilst in therapy."

"I wanted to want to live and to enjoy it. I have achieved this and built myself up again. She was extremely patient and never judged me which allowed me to think clearly."

"Carol challenged me at the right time, made me feel safe and able to be open and myself."

"The counselling was excellent. I felt I had scope to talk and someone who made me take a look at things in an objective way. I felt very safe and able to trust. Counselling has made a huge difference to me."

"I learnt to be accepting of myself, to open my eyes to views of others and decide how I feel and wish to act. I learnt I am in control of my life."

"She listened and allowed me to be happy to be open"

Please Contact Me
if you have any questions about counselling or you would like to make an appointment to discuss the matters which concern you.