I work with people who find their childhood experiences is affecting them as adults. Do you recognise any of these thoughts?
- “I feel ashamed”
- “I hate myself”
- “I’m dirty”
- “I’m disgusting”
- “Everyone leaves me”
- “I’m useless”
- “I would rather be dead”
These are the thoughts of people who have had a traumatic and/or abusive childhood. Experiencing any kind of abuse in childhood can result in Complex PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and can have a profound effect on you as an adult.
Most of us associate ‘trauma’ with events such as war and describes something overwhelming, frightening, even life threatening. When it is severe enough to affect your everyday functioning then it is called PTSD. There is also something called Complex PTSD which occurs in people who have been subjected to violence, abuse or neglect in childhood resulting in problems in adulthood. Examples include:
Physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect:
Physical abuse: hitting, smacking, shaking, burning, choking or any psychical injury to the body
Sexual abuse: any unwanted act of a sexual nature inflicted on a child by an adult or another child
Emotional abuse: any behaviour where a child is constantly criticised, put down, threatened, bullied, dismissed, yelled at, etc
Neglect: when food, clothing, warmth, housing, or medical care are deliberately withheld. Emotional neglect is when no love, support or attention is shown to the child by parents/caregivers.
Witnessing violence or abuse in the home:
- Seeing or hearing parents shouting, arguing, being hit, choked, punched, etc
- Witnessing the aftereffects of domestic violence – seeing a parent with cuts, bruises and other physical injuries
- Feeling frightened, alone, ashamed, angry at the abusing or abused parent.
Having an alcoholic parent or parents:
- Feeling the drinking was/is your fault
- Never knowing what mood the parent(s) will be
- Tiptoeing around them, not wishing to upset them in a case they drink
- Buying alcohol for them, even when underage
- Clearing up after them
- Being invited to join in with their drinking
These are just some examples, yours may be different. Surviving abuse or trauma as a child has been linked with higher rates of depression, self-harm, anxiety, eating disorders, suicide, abuse of alcohol and drugs, relationship difficulties, problems with intimacy and trust, etc. And it’s common for the impact of Complex PTSD to be felt many years, even decades, later.
But, you may think, was it 'that bad'? If you're not living life to the fullest, then yes, maybe it was 'that bad'. Symptoms of PTSD include nightmares and flashbacks of the event, feeling emotionally numb, or feeling constantly ‘on alert’ and Complex PTSD may include:
feelings of shame or guilt
- being easily startled
- difficulty controlling your emotions
- dissociating – feeling as if you are ‘not there’, ‘spacing out’, ‘losing time’
- self-harm, destructive or risky behaviour - overdosing, cutting, alcohol or drug abuse
- feeling frightened of people shouting, confrontation, people in authority
- feeling suicidal
- feeling distrustful of others
- feeling dirty, damaged or worthless
- feeling different to other people
- thinking nobody would believe your story
- physical symptoms – headaches, stomach upsets, feeling anxious with a racing heart, etc.
You may have heard of Complex PTSD being called something slightly different – the most important point is what has happened to you in childhood and how you are coping now.
How can counselling help you?
We can’t change the past but you can put an end to the emotional pain that has robbed you of living life to the fullest.
Counselling is a talking therapy that helps you come to terms with your life experiences and find peace. I will work with you to help you be free from the effects of the trauma that you have suffered and allow you to come to terms with what has happened to you so that feel empowered, take back control of your life and move from being a ‘victim of trauma’ to being a ‘trauma survivor’.
One more thing – everything you say to me is confidential and NO ONE will be told that you are having counselling. I do not contact your GP, place of work, family or anyone else.
How I work: I hold counselling sessions online only using Zoom (which is free to use). I charge £55 per session. I can see you in the daytime, evening and weekends.
About me: I am an experienced counsellor and a Registered Member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy). I trained as an integrative counsellor, which means I can draw on different counselling models to help people.
Training, qualifications & experience
Training & qualifications
- Level 5 Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling
- Level 3 Certificate in Counselling Skills
- NVQ Level 3 in Health & Social Care (specialising in Substance Misuse)
- Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Skills
- Master's Degree in Cultural Studies
- First Class BA (Hons) Degree in Contemporary Cultural Studies
- Registered member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy). Find out more here: https://www.bacp.co.uk/
- Adults with Complex PTSD
- Addictions - alcohol, drugs, online gambling
- Low self-esteem, 'Imposter Syndrome' at work
- Knowledge & understanding of Twelve Step Fellowships
- People questioning their sexuality, wondering if they are gay/lesbian
- Supporting people with severe & enduring mental health issues - eg bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder.
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.
All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Accredited register membership
Accredited Register Scheme
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
- Addiction to alcohol/drugs/online gambling
- Anger management for men
£55.00 per session
Free initial telephone session
Concessions offered for
EAP/Health Insurance Providers
I charge £55.00 per session, concessions are £40.00. If that is still too much, contact me and let's see what I can offer for you.
Payment is via BACS
I work as a counsellor with EAP Provider, Spill.
I am an approved practitioner with Vitality Health Insurance
I work online using Zoom (which is free to use)
How do I book an appointment?
Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or phone/text me on 07906 576167. I know how frustrating it can be when you want help NOW but just get a voicemail message, but I will get back to you within 24 hours.