Ruth Durham.Registered MBACP (Accred).
Counselling can be helpful either by exploring the root cause or addressing and managing the symptomatic behaviour.
Consider this analogy:
If we cut the head off a large unsightly dandelion growing in the centre of our lawn to leave the surrounding grass looking neat and tidy, in the not too distant future with the appropriate “triggers” i.e. the rain and the sunshine the dandelion will once again grow as the root remains intact. When this inevitably happens, in all probability we may then see only the dandelion (the negative/ the “bad”) and not the beautifully manicured lawn (the positive/ the “good”.)
We do not see what we are not looking for; if we look only for the negative then that is all we will see.
The seeds of our own roots were sown in childhood; locating and exploring them can enable us to identify our core-beliefs which have grown from these roots, i.e. what we believe about our own self, e.g. I am stupid, worthless, not good enough, a failure etc. With this information we are then better placed to recognise the consequent emotional /physical "triggers” which ignite the source of the distress by hooking into our beliefs about our self. Such insight can equip us with the emotional tools to make sense of our thoughts, feelings and behaviour and can liberate us to break the seemingly vicious circle of feelings and behaviour and help us to find our own sense of identity and inner peace.
Considering and identifying the positive in any given situation will eventually change our mind-set and in time leave us better equipped to see the same situation from a different perspective. Understanding the way in which we see and think about our issues as we do enables us to grasp why we deal with them as we do as well as offering us insight into how our own behaviour may well promote, maintain and even intensify our worries thereby creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Self sabotage?)
Acknowledging and expressing our innermost feelings and concerns can feel daunting as our negative thoughts ("what-ifs") further erode our confidence and self-esteem which in turn feeds and maintains both anxiety, depression and confusion.
Self-awareness and understanding increases our choices and enables us to make more informed decisions as to the different options available for dealing with our issues; it allows for a different perception and understanding of our experiences and has an associated benefit of building self-worth and confidence.
Exploring un-processed childhood issues / past trauma can help to make more sense of the past and offer understanding and insight into the possibility that part of us is/may be emotionally "trapped" at the age we experienced the trauma, thereby leaving us to cope in the present just as we did during the original trauma.
Unlocking the past and looking at how we may have interpreted and internalised our early experiences can leave us better placed to see how the past and its often concealed emotional consequences continue to influence and impact on our behaviour the present.
Counselling offers the tools to teach us how to control our behaviour as opposed to our behaviour controlling us whilst providing the space and time in a safe and non-judgemental environment to explore your concerns.
I have twenty years counselling experience working with couples and individuals, six of which I spent working as the only counsellor within a large organisation where I dealt with many personal and Occupational Health issues presented by employees.
I have my own private practice and am also employed as an Affiliate Counsellor with several Employee Assistance Programmes. (Establishments/ companies who contract with organisations to provide telephone and face to face counselling for their employees) and I offer appointments during office hours only.
If you have a question you would like to talk through, then do please contact me on either of my phone numbers. An initial chat may enable you to make a more informed decision as to whether counselling is right for you at this time.
I am a Registered and Accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, and abide by their code of ethics.
Training, qualifications & experience
Graduate Diploma in Counselling
RELATE trained and qualified couples/relationship counsellor.
I have also undertaken training in the following areas;
Child and adolescent counselling skills.
Working with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Diploma in Counselling, Psychology and Psychotherapy.
Certificate in Working with Eating Disorders.
NVQ. Level 4 in Management Studies.
Additional training and experience:
Stafford and District Bereavement and Loss.
Emerge (Part of NHS Trust, based at St George's hospital Stafford) Working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Anorexia nervosa
- Attachment disorder
- Binge-eating disorder
- Bulimia nervosa
- Child related issues
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Postnatal depression
- Relationship problems
- Separation and divorce
- Sexual abuse
- Work-related stress
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Anxiety which may arise as a result of lack of confidence /self-esteem.
Parenting skills. (Including looking at how the client's perception of their own childhood experience of being parented may be influencing the present.)
Unresolved / unprocessed issues from childhood which may have caused developmental problems.
Childhood /Adult sexual and or physical abuse
- Cognitive and behavioural therapies
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive therapy
- Couples counselling
Individuals, one hour session, £45.00
Couples £50.00 one hour session
Couples one and a half hour session £75.00
Organisations / Insurance work /Assessments from £80.00 per hour.
I work long and short term and will also carry out home visits dependent upon circumstances and distance involved. My fee will be increased to reflect the mileage and travelling time.
I work with individuals, couples (heterosexual and same sex relationships) and organisations. I also have mediation (conflict resolution) skills.
My training and knowledge relating to "Family Systems" gives me an awareness as to how childhood can impact and affect the emotional development of the children within that family (Life Stages/ Fixation)
It may well be that the understanding of such information could be helpful in enabling us to see how the past influences and affects the here and now as well as perhaps shaping the future.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Monday to Friday, first appointment 9.00am last appointment 4pm. I do not offer evening or weekend appointments.
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|