Why am I being bullied?
All too often, a person experiencing bullying which encompasses, intimidation, harassment and discrimination, will at their lowest point believe they are the problem. The damaging effect of this cancerous behaviour, leaves the person being bullied, feeling extremely vulnerable and isolated. It’s understandable why so many will have thoughts of taking their own life, attempt to take their own or sadly succeed, just to escape the torment.
It is so important, therefore, to seek support from the outset through an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) or an employment or educational well-being service. It’s imperative you recognise where your support network is in terms of family, friends and just as importantly your fellow colleagues, HR or your peers. You may 'think' you’re on your own and no one else will understand or even care about what you’re going through but it doesn’t make it true, even if that's how it feels. Believe me when I say, “You’re not alone.”
To provide you with a little bit of perspective as to why you might become a target of bullying, take a look below:
- You’re the only one who looks and behaves like you. (You’re comfortable being you and don’t look and/or behave like everyone else).
- You call out bad behaviour and stand for what’s right. (Unlike many others, you don’t conform. In some organisations or institutions this may go against the grain).
- You are gifted, excel at what you do. (You become a threat to someone who sees you doing better than them).
- You are popular, well liked and respected. (A bully won’t like that at all).
- You’re happy being you! (Misery loves company; some people hate to see other people happy and content).
The list could go on, none of the above is a green light for anyone to be bullied but it gives you some insight to why bullies behave the way they do. Recognise the above reflects a bully’s insecurities which may be coming from some past trauma or abuse. They too should seek counselling or therapy before they destroy their own lives and the lives of others around them.
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About Jennifer Gilling
Jennifer works in private practice and has over 30 years work experience, 24 of which has been in central and local government roles including working for ACAS for 6 years. She specialises in work related issues, bereavement/loss and stress management.
Jennifer is registered with EAPs, working with clients using brief solution focused therapy.