The challenges of life
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Jill Mitev-Will BA(Hons) MBACP (registered)
19th September, 20170 Comments
There are times for all of us when we feel exhausted, burnt out, our energy levels low and we feel negative about our own life. We may fantasise that others 'have it better' and that if only we had chosen a different path things would have been better. We have the choice to either allow ourselves to be overwhelmed with our current challenges or we have the choice to overcome the challenges
Life never promised to be easy and straightforward. We beat ourselves up if we make mistakes. People come to my counselling practice being angry with themselves for making mistakes, young students self-harm from pressure from parents or from exam expectations, people feel guilty that they became addicts and the list goes on....
My approach is that we are humans and life makes us make choices. Sometimes people tell me they feel they are bad. I say, no that's not true, you simply went down the wrong track for a while and now you have turned back. How can we possibly know an outcome from a choice we made? We can't. At least through making a choice we are demonstrating that we are living and not just 'sitting on a fence'.
Relationships are challenges and at times people tell me they 'just want to leave him/her but they love them. The relationship is difficult, communications have broken down and one is struggling to stay another day as they are exhausted and angry..... but they don't want to really leave...I say to people 'then don't leave' 'let's overcome these obstacles that have got in the way of your relationship being loving. Let's go back to basics. I advise to not leave on heightened emotions and exhaustion. Instead, perhaps a different approach is needed.
If we stopped comparing our lives to the fantasy of what we believe others have then possibly one could be more accepting of our own life. Is there any point in comparing anyway? We simply can't know what others are going through. We all get good and bad times, we have all lost someone special either through death, illness, divorce or simply because life took us on other paths. We all grieve and as we do so we are aware that life still goes on around us. It feels cruel at times and we may just want to exit the world for a while but we can't... Like the roller coasters, we go up and at times we go down.
I believe we can all apply a little kindness to ourselves and not be so hard on ourselves when we may get things wrong. We should be more accepting of the challenges of life and face them head-on. We grow when we face our challenges. How we face them can make the difference to the outcome of the challenge.
A positive attitude is essential and I believe we should look for something positive every day. Don't let challenges get you down, just rise to the challenge!
About the author
I have a delightful room in my home that provides a safe place for one to talk through their concerns. I also practice from Norwich and Bury St Edmunds. I think you will find me warm, welcoming, non-judgemental, empathic with a quirky energetic style of working. I have a positive approach to dealing with challenges. Jill Mitev-Will BA(Hons).
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