The 5 C's of successful relationships

The work you put in and the success you receive: the key to thriving relationships. 

Sadly, broken relationships, and especially broken families, are becoming increasingly evident in society today, and many suffer the fall out.  Pain, fear, anger, rejection, loss of confidence and self-esteem are just some of the issues that people wrestle with as a result. But what can be done? Are such broken relationships inevitable? Is it better that we simply never bother to get close to others? It would certainly be less painful!

But we all cry out for deeper, more meaningful connection with at least one other person. As has been said, ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!’ But does this mean we have to risk the hurt, or is there something that can be done to reduce the likelihood of such hurt and damage? These five elements are vital in relationships if they are to succeed:

1. Communication. Misunderstanding is normally a major part in the breakdown of any relationship, and communication is the way to reduce the likelihood of this happening.

2. Compromise. At some point one or other partner is going to have to give up or negotiate on what they would prefer. And sometimes, both partners will have to give up something they love eg smoking. If one or other insists on having their own way, problems of anger or jealousy can arise which may result in a breakdown of the relationship.

3. Commitment. We all know what it’s like to dislike certain activities, but having made a commitment we keep our word. Couple relationships are no exception. There will undoubtedly be times when we don’t ‘feel’ like making an effort – but will do so. And generally (though not always) the more we give the more we receive.

4. Celebration. One vital way of keeping a relationship alive is to celebrate it: share an activity together, seek to enjoy life and play together. This element becomes increasingly hard to achieve particularly when having children, but the best thing parents can give their children is a healthy stable relationship.

5. Choice. Day by day, we make choices. We can choose to invest time in someone, or to neglect and turn away from them; we can choose to put our partner or spouse first or to look only to our own interests; we can choose to clarify any apparent misunderstanding or to stubbornly refuse to talk it through.

Any relationship, however good, has the potential to fall apart and go wrong. It takes determination and commitment to make it work. It’s important for partners to stay true to themselves, there has to be a healthy self-care if one is to have the energy to give of one’s self. But there should also be a healthy give and take in the success of a relationship.