So you find yourself in a triangular relationship. Now what?
I'm guessing you check your texts many times... there's nothing there! You try to focus on anything else except the person that you believe is your soulmate, your lover... but you can't!
You go to the gym and you workout... but you can't stop thinking about them!
It wasn't supposed to be like this, it was an attraction, a physical attraction with 'no strings', 'fun' even... except it's not! It's become addictive, obsessive, and you may even feel that you love them. So, what's the issue, you may say? Not much, except they belong to someone else, at least in name, and their physical presence is elsewhere at the weekends and bank holidays!
You start to feel anxious as you question the situation you find yourself in. Do they mean what they say? Are they really sleeping in another bedroom to their partner? Do they really love you?
You remember the laughs and the connection you experienced with them a couple of days ago. It was intense, passionate; you felt entwined and deeply connected with them but now how quickly that feeling fades when you feel how you feel today. You tell yourself a hundred times that they love you, you love them, but you still find yourself feeling lonely and almost abandoned.
They tell you to 'trust' them - they love you and they are going to leave their current situation to be with you... just not today or in the near future as it's 'complicated'. They tell you they worry how their daughter or son may react to the news, especially as they have their own anxieties going on. You have been empathic and willing to be patient because you understand the time's not right for your lover to leave. However, with the passing of time, with the emptiness at weekends or the lonely evenings, it starts to stir negative emotions in you that you know only too well.
So you find yourself in a dilemma, and you feel anxious as you circle in your head as to how to cope and what to do. You have invested time and energy with your lover and you feel sad when you are not with them. Your friends don't want to listen as they say they told you 'not to get yourself into this mess'.
So you now realise you are in a triangular relationship. You believe your lover belongs with you yet in truth they have a wife/husband. The reality stares you in the face and there is nowhere to hide!
Perhaps now is a good time to seek talking therapy with a trained counsellor who is non-judgemental and can help you explore the bigger picture of the situation you find yourself in. Sometimes friends and family are not helpful in these situations and can be very judgemental; it may become negative.
You are where you are now and a fresh approach from a supportive counsellor you connect with is something worth considering. A trained counsellor may help you look at and explore a difficult situation objectively. They will not judge you and you should be able to feel safe to express your feeling and emotions. You can work at your pace and make your decisions and choices without being influenced by friends and family members. All work you do with a counsellor is of course confidential and we adhere to the rules and regulations of our professional bodies.
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.
About Jill Mitev-Will
I have a fresh energised approach to working with couples and individuals.. I have a nice practice room here in my home in Hindercay, Diss where one can feel safe and free to focus on their private issues. I also have a practice room in Norwich city centre . Jill Mitev-Will