Show yourself a little love
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Rebecca Mort MBACP, Dip. Counselling; BN (hons)
27th August, 2017
What does being in a loving relationship mean to you? Take a moment to think about a relationship you have with a significant person in your life. They may be your spouse, a family member, your child, a friend or beloved pet. Whoever they may be, what do you feel when you think of them? Do you feel a warmth spread over you, a comforting sense of belonging or understanding, a deep connection or that you find yourself smiling at the thought of them and the memories you share? How do you know that you love them and they love you, how do you show it? I don't necessarily mean grand or extravagant gestures, it can be the small things like kind words, thoughtful and unexpected acts, little gifts or a hug.
Now take a moment to think about your relationship with yourself. What does that relationship mean to you? You may be wondering what I am talking about but let me explain. It may have been quite easy when you thought about the significant person in your life, how you love them and how you might show this. But when we think about ourselves, we can be very critical and negative, or we may not really think of how we are with ourselves at all. The idea of self love can seem wrong, that we must be conceited if we love ourselves. When I talk about loving the self, I am not referring to being self absorbed and feeling we are the greatest gift to humanity and the world. The self love I am talking about is showing ourselves the understanding, compassion and sensitivity we show to others, it can be the same small gestures and care we show to the significant people or beloved pet in our lives.
So instead of berating ourselves if we forget things, perhaps treat yourself to something that you like whether it is a coffee at your favourite bistro, going for a walk somewhere pretty or having a little time to do something just for yourself. If you feel vulnerable after your confidence takes a knock, maybe pamper yourself with a relaxing bath, music and candles. Or if something in life isn't perfect, try saying to yourself “I am doing the best I can and that is good enough”. If you are feeling angry, frustrated or annoyed with yourself for whatever reason, rather than criticising yourself, show yourself a little love instead. Showing ourselves a little love, whether it is a small gesture, kind word or little gift can help improve our self esteem and our relationship with ourselves. You deserve love in your life, we all do.
With love, Rebecca.
About the author
Rebecca is a counsellor working with children, young people, adults and couples in Cardiff and Caerphilly. Believing in the importance of relationships, whether they are with ourselves, other people or challenges within life, sometimes we can struggle with it all and may need a little help to achieve a more fulfilling life.
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