Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Gianina Ardeleanu- Working with adults, children and teenagers, MBACP
29th April, 20180 Comments
Who are you? What’s your story? Do you feel like life is happening to you, like you are an actor in a play, but you were handed no script?
What do you feel about the possibility of getting control of your life, of being in charge, of making conscious decisions and choices that bring satisfaction and fulfilment to your existence? It’s time to stop sleep walking! It’s time to cut the chains that hold you in place!
Do you remember when you started wearing chains? You might have been just a child. A helpless, hopeless child who was too small and young to fight the harshness and the coldness of big guys’ wars. Are childhood’s chains getting too tight and making you scream in deafening silence? Do you find yourself wondering if you’ve been cursed to live your life crying in agony from pain that cuts through you like a burning knife?
If time has come to heal the wounds, don’t be afraid of not succeeding! Find out what you want and work towards achieving your goals; find your voice and don’t be afraid to ask from yourself the changes you need. If you want to be treated with respect, love and care, say it! If you don’t want to be taken for granted, say it! The change starts from within; you are the one who is in charge of writing your life script. You are the one who can break the chains, set yourself free! Stop being a childhood prisoner.
Change is possible and it can happen at any age. Don’t beat yourself up for all the time lost. Whatever happened to you, whatever scars you are wearing, made you the person you are today. The past is part of you, but do not let it dictate your present. Every day is a chance for a new beginning, a chance for you to forgive, let go and move on. Forgive and let go for yourself; sometimes the chains that keep us stuck are nothing else but resentment, anger, frustration and feelings of unfairness and injustice. Every memory you have, every experience you went through, can have destructive potential, but can also have healing powers. It’s how you see yourself that can make a difference. There is no denying that you might’ve been a victim at some point, but you are also a survivor, a fighter for making it through.
Sometimes it’s all too easy to listen to the voice within that tells us that we are worthless, the voice that puts us down and does nothing but tightening the chains around bleeding wounds. Sometimes it’s all too easy to dismiss the weak and shy voice that might attempt to say that we have the potential to be happy, to be content, to achieve our goals and dreams. Learn to train the voice that sends positive messages; learn to quieten the voice that does nothing but bring misery day after day, after day.
Change can happen and it starts the second you start knowing what you want. If you feel that life came with no script, you are not the only one. Life is a play that is written by you. Life is a play where you are the main character. It’s bloody hard work to write and act, and sometimes it goes wrong. When it goes wrong, you go back to your pen and paper, and you start writing again, because if you don’t others will take away your privilege and will start writing for you. Don’t give away your power, don’t lose it! Be the character you want to be, be the hero, the fighter, the lover, the dreamer, the kind one, the one that nurtures and protects, the one filled with wonder, joy and the force of life.
In therapy, you can explore what character you want to be. Therapy is your space to rehearse, to learn new skills and new ways of relating to yourself and others around you, skills that are transferable outside the room and can bring the desired outcomes. If time has come to heal the wounds, to break the chains, therapy can help you and can bring positive, long lasting changes. Start your journey, ask for what you want!
About the author
Integrative child and adult counsellor, with a special interest in adverse childhood experiences and in the parent-child relationship. No one was born with a broken heart, fearful, unhappy or sad. Relationships can be destructive, but also can heal. A counselling relationship can help you to mend your heart. Therapy is a gift & it can change lives
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