Memories are made of this ...
Depression is one of the most common reasons why people find a counsellor and for many depression is experienced as a result of a relationship break-up.
Robbie came because his relationship of the past six years had finally ended. His girlfriend has left and gone to live in another country. When you've been used to doing things as a couple, suddenly it seems awkward to go to a party alone; or to go home from the pub to a cold flat and an empty bed.
Robbie can't stop crying. Each night he cries himself to sleep remembering the happy times he used to have. Each morning he has to drag himself out of bed and pretend to his colleagues in his office that he's fine really. He's coping. Robbie knows that even if he's not crying on the outside, he's crying on the inside.
How can a counsellor help? Robbie can work through his memories. Was his relationship with Fiona always made up of happy times under a cloudless blue sky of optimism and good will?
Gradually Robbie remembers the arguments over money, the disagreements between Fiona and his best friend Ian. But he also remembers Fiona's lovely brown eyes and her winning smile.
In time Robbie starts to cry less often. He looks forward to a night out with his friends. He can go to the latest film and watch a scene about a couple with relationship difficulties without thinking "that's us" on the screen.
Fiona has turned into an ex-girlfriend about whom he has mixed recollections, good and bad; wonderful and frankly sometimes awful. Robbie is ready to try out a new relationship. Perhaps it now also time to dispense with the counsellor who has been sitting quietly with him over the past few weeks or maybe months allowing him to sort through his memories.
Related articles from our experts
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- Some couples are at their closest when they decide to part
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- Relationship breakdown - moving on
Sharon Kirby MBACP (Snr. accred) UKCP reg.26th March, 2018
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