Importance of crying
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Nargis Sharif MBACP
17th December, 20160 Comments
Crying is a sound or an emotion, that is interpreted in different ways. Not everyone is comfortable with crying, some people can cry easily others can’t cry at all and there are some who aren’t comfortable with individuals crying.
Crying can be viewed differently by individuals, some see crying as strength, some as weakness and some find it shameful. It all depends on how we were taught about crying or how our families viewed crying.
When babies are born, we learn that babies only express themselves using crying as it builds there vocal cords and strengthens them and plays a part in the child’s growth. It’s often the first sound that would be heard by parents or families.
Then why or when does it get labelled with words like weakness, strength, vulnerability, or is seen as a stigma or shame? These are quite powerful words; they make us who we are as a person. We learn from our parents, family or even the religion or culture as to how to view crying. In some cultures, crying isn’t allowed, especially if it's men as there’s a certain stigma attached around crying being seen as weakness.
It’s often viewed as a negative emotion or an emotion which cannot be shared easily. You would often hear people criticise and use words like "be a man, show some strength, it’s not a big deal or grow up". or "it’s wrong for men to cry”. Men would have an upbringing to believe that crying is unacceptable, therefore they get used to suppressing their emotion.
When a person suppresses themselves and doesn’t cry, these feelings then change to other emotions some of these emotions are anger, silence, rejection, avoidance or distancing yourself from others to avoid the pain or hurt or anything that will bring crying to surface. This can then lead to further issues in life, having no emotion no attachment or simply following your conditioning.
In therapy, crying can be a useful tool; this can help overcome deep issues and share emotions which you might have not done with others. Counselling is a safe, non-judgemental environment; the space offers and allows you to explore your feelings around crying or not crying. You can work with a counsellor and explore your emotions or labels attached to your emotions to make changes in your life.
Crying in therapy can be a huge transition for an individual depending on how they view crying and often heals clients internally, making them much stronger or more in touch with an important emotion.
Crying can also be seen as relief, feeling liberated and letting go of any pain or memories you have. Some people find crying difficult, where others can use crying as an emotion even when they’re happy. There are also individuals who use crying as attention seeking so someone will attend to them. Then there are the perpetrators who may cry to ask for forgiveness so the victim will fall to their trap. Hence it’s important for people to understand and be in touch with all their emotions, each and every emotion whether crying, sadness, happiness, excitement all have significance in our life it just depends how much we are in touch with these feelings.
About the author
Gulnargis Sharif MBACP
My aim for clients to be in touch with their feelings to overcome day to day issues, and to overcome past issue which may hinder growth. I feel its important to address emotions they are a part of our life.
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