Freedom from fear
Fear is a natural emotion and one that we will all naturally encounter during our lives. It is usually associated with the unknown, and is a complex mixture of anxiety and tension. We may feel fearful for a variety of reasons and this short article is for those people for whom fear has become a part of everyday life; an unwanted and deeply disturbing aspect that may limit our actions and cause us to ‘close down’ our lives and actions. It may be a fear without a particular known cause, a feeling of uneasiness that seems to permeate our every waking moment or it can be a fear of some thing, driving or flying perhaps, that means our lives are restricted. Fear of flying and driving are common examples of our unconscious mind ‘projecting’ anxiety onto a canvas, so to speak. This causes us to avoid the place we project the anxiety and we may feel calm, restricted but nevertheless able to get on with life generally. Counselling can be enormously useful when dealing with known projections, such as flying but it is even more powerful when one has an unknown sense of foreboding. This is when seeing a counsellor and talking can be life changing and freeing. It can lead to real empowerment and the feeling that we can now get on with life, free from fears that jump at us from every corner, the dread of panic attacks and phobias. It is something we all deserve – this freedom from unnecessary fear, for life can become quite unbearable when fear and dread are daily unwanted but persistent and nagging shadowy figures in our mind.
Many people fear that they may lose their sanity or indeed that they have ‘something wrong with them’ because they experience high levels of fear and anxiety. This is almost always not the case.
Our minds can become tired, worn out by the stresses and strains of everyday life and this is often when a sense of isolation and fearfulness can arise. Let me assure you that counsellors see many clients, all unique individuals just as you are and fear and anxiety are common problems. If you feel exhausted and confused and your mind is worn out, you may struggle to cope alone and family and friends may not understand and this is when counselling is appropriate. Counselling gives us a space to talk about our innermost fears and doubts, in fact the counselling session is your time and you choose the topic. You will never be coerced into talking about issues you find too difficult and the pace is yours.
You are an important person, a unique individual and if you are experiencing fear, for whatever reason known or otherwise, a few sessions of counselling are like giving oneself a gift. It can be truly life changing and can be that first step to a life free from fear, a life where you value yourself fully.
Fearful thoughts can be very disturbing but talking through your feelings with a counsellor will help, for we all need someone who is there for us. Someone who will not judge us or think our problems ‘absurd’. Counselling is an intensely nourishing experience and if you are feeling fearful about life generally, I would advise you contact a counsellor and begin to talk. It seems so simple, and it is. That’s what good counselling is all about – talking and being heard. It is an inherent human need and one that can be truly life changing.
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About Linda Boutet
My training in psychology began in 1989. I have trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy and integrative counselling, and am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.
I work in a variety of settings, including the NHS, the voluntary sector and private practice.
I am also a member of the BACP (children and young people).