Do you know domestic abuse?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Liz Jenkins Psychotherapeutic Counsellor BSc (Hons) UKCP (Reg'd/Accr'd), MBACP
6th April, 20170 Comments
The government definition of domestic violence and abuse is:
‘any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:
Abuse can take many forms. The one thing to remember is ‘how do I feel?’ If it feels wrong and uncomfortable, then that isn’t right. We shouldn’t live in fear of our partner (or family member), wondering what will happen next, wondering if (s)he will be happy with us today.
The abuser will normally blame anything other than themselves for what has happened: ‘it’s the drink; my work; stress etc’ these are excuses! It’s all about control and they use many ways to control us. By controlling they begin to isolate us, deprive us of our needs and try to make us dependent on them, checking up on us all the time, sometimes asking for photographic evidence of where we are.
Threats, assaults, humiliation and intimidation are used to harm, punish or frighten their victim; us. Does loving someone mean we have to always be there doing what they want us to do? Or are we able to pursue our own interests as well as give time to our partner?
Do you know abuse?
If you are affected by these issues please get in touch with a counsellor who may be able to help.
About the author
I am a qualified, experienced Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, practising in Brandon Suffolk. My main work is with domestic abuse; I also work with with depression, anxiety, trauma (to name a few), which can often be a result of abuse or trauma. My past working experience has been in substance misuse and survivors of child sex abuse.
Related articles from our experts
- Learning to trust yourself after an emotionally abusive relationship
Jo Baker31st May, 2018
- Guilt can have survival value but shame is toxic
Noel Bell MA, PG Dip Psych, UKCP21st May, 2018
- Men too
Jacqueline Karaca M.Sc. Hons Counselling Psych; MBACP Reg.4th May, 2018
- Why city workers are more prone to addictions
Noel Bell MA, PG Dip Psych, UKCP20th June, 2018
- Healing trauma through the wisdom of the body
Marie-Louise Rolfe Msc, Bsc (Hons) Dip C, MBACP BPS19th June, 2018
- Live a more balanced life: six do’s and don’ts
Ashlie Smith - Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, Life Coach & Teacher18th June, 2018
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.