Change is a New Year holiday!
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Stephen G. Thomas - MA, PGDip, MBACP (Accredited)
1st January, 20150 Comments
New Year’s Day, the day of good intentions and resolutions. Many of us woke up this morning with a desire to change and the drive to make it happen, yet so many of these dreams remain unpacked and unfulfilled as the days progress; life gets in the way, boredom sets in, willpower falters … and we give in to more of the same. It is easy to talk ourselves out of change and remain stuck and unhappy. So why do we do this to ourselves if it does us no good?
Well, however much we try to persuade ourselves otherwise, human beings are creatures of habit and routine. Left to our own devices, we easily fall into known patterns of behaviour as a way to control the unpredictability that is life. However toxic and trapping these routines and patterns can become, they help us to feel safe; and change represents a real threat to this sense of comfort and structure. So we often choose to remain stuck; safe but unhappy.
In order to break free of negative behaviours and patterns, it is therefore important to make change the new routine. The best way to do that is to change how we view change. Change is exciting and new but also scary and threatening to our innate desire for constancy. So if we see change as a holiday from the norm instead of a threat to it, we are much more likely to give it a go. If that holiday feels good then we can always extend it into a permanent vacation from those old unwanted or harmful behaviours.
So the first step is to set a holiday duration for change. Give it a month. Give it January. Thirty-one days and see how you feel. If you enjoy the change, extend it. Slowly the change will become routine, and the old habits will become just that ... old. But the main thing is to just get started. So pack your sunglasses and sun-cream and treat change as a midwinter break, not a prison sentence. There are plenty of January initiatives to help you new behaviours or give substances a holiday. Who knows, this might be the best permanent vacation you ever embarked upon!
Founding Partner – ProActUK
About the author
Stephen Thomas is a therapeutic professional with a specialism in addictive and compulsive behaviours. In particular, Stephen is passionate about using curiosity and optimism to engage with and understand the person behind the behaviour. Stephen is a founding partner at ProActUK, an addictions consultancy covering Bristol and South Wales.
Related articles from our experts
Greg Savva, Counselling in Twickenham & Whitton, Masters Degree, UKCP,March 21st, 2018
Nicholas Opyrchal UKCP reg. MBACPMarch 20th, 2018
Kate BullMarch 20th, 2018
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist & Author (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,FRSA,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.