Authenticity as a vehicle for change
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Michelle Brown Dip. Couns. MBACP
27th January, 20180 Comments
Being authentic and change
We all struggle with change at times, but sometimes it can feel impossible to work out what we actually want.
Carl Rogers was an American psychologist and among the founders of the humanistic approach to psychology, he said:
“the curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.” (Rogers, 2012)
Half the battle with change is accepting who you are in the first place. Not offering up a false façade to the world but being authentically you. Not comparing yourself to others or changing your ideals and beliefs to fit in and to please them.
More and more our culture and society sets us up to feel a sense of self-loathing and inadequacy rather than to feel a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. I feel this often leads to a sense of confusion about our own values and ideals; and how can we possibly foster a clear sense of direction and know that what we are striving for is important to us if we are constantly fighting against who we really are?
What if you were to stop using up all that energy focussing on what you are not, where you are not and how far you have to travel to get to that imagined “good enough” you? What if you were to accept yourself as you were? Perhaps shifting the focus away from non-acceptance and conforming would feel like putting down a heavy burden and perhaps it’s that very burden that is blocking your path to growth and change?
So today and tomorrow and the day after that, why not accept who you are, stop resisting it, but rather embrace it. Dare to be yourself and watch opportunities unfold naturally because you are present, positive, authentic and focussed, listening to what matters to you and what you really want.
About the author
Michelle is a BACP registered integrative counsellor practising in Tunbridge Wells and Tonbridge.
As well as working in private practice she is an associate counsellor for West Kent Mind
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