Am I just being silly?
This is a question I have heard asked in many different ways by all kinds of people. Maybe this is something you have caught yourself saying, or have had others tell you that you are just being silly. This might make you feel that your difficulties or problems are unimportant and may have led you to stop talking about things that are bothering you.
Be assured that you are not alone in this feeling, not by a long way. Those people who are lucky enough to not have suffered your difficulties, or appear to have their lives under control, might not understand the impact certain situations have on you. They might look at something you are struggling with and, because it is something they find easy, cannot see why it could be hard for you.
Everyone struggles with something, even if they are good at hiding their struggles. By talking to people, you might find that there are others who face similar situations and have similar issues, and have found different ways of coping. Knowing you are not alone can be the start of you finding solutions and learning how to deal with things differently.
If you are told you are just being silly, or that someone cannot understand what is so difficult, it often feels easiest to hide what you feel or to discount how important it is to you. I would like to encourage you to take the time to explain, or to find someone different to talk to, and most importantly not to stop talking. Being told you are silly may cause you to feel insecure or vulnerable which sometimes makes it more difficult to reach out to others when needed.
Hiding what you feel, or agreeing that you are being silly, can knock your confidence and make your struggles feel bigger. Your self-esteem may drop, your relationships can be impacted and your solutions begin to feel further from your reach.
Whatever your difficulty, you are not being silly and no matter how easy others may find it, your struggle is no less real because of this. Remember that everyone needs help sometimes. Asking for help shows you have a strength in wanting to change, self-awareness in seeing when you need help, and openness in accepting that help.
No problem is too small to get help with. You deserve to be heard without judgement and supported according to what you need – rather than what others think you need. Once you deal with the smaller issues and look back at your successes, the bigger problems become more manageable. Every time you deal with an issue and take a step forward, your faith in yourself has the chance to grow, you can feel more confident in your abilities and your day to day life and relationships can begin to feel more comfortable.
Don’t take on other people’s judgements about you and your difficulties. You are not alone, others suffer similar issues and you deserve the support you need.
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About Julie Terry-Jenner
I'm Julie and I work in private practice as a therapist after years of working within mental health. I use an integrative approach and use a variety of techniques. I work with many issues and enjoy a flexible approach to my work. I recognise the most important element of the work is building a safe, accepting relationship.