Acceptance, the first step to change
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Rohan Kumar Barua BA (Hons), PGDip, MBACP Accred
12th August, 2013
The first step to making any change is to recognise that there is something in your life which no longer serves a purpose to you. This may be holding you back and preventing you from living life to the full.
When faced with this, most people try to fight the situation. This fighting reaction can take on various forms. Some will try to just ignore the issue (passive) and some will try to resolve it (active). However the latter will only make us feel worse.
The only place to start is at acceptance. The founder of psychosynthesis, Assagioli, felt this was a vital aspect of his training. A student of his, Piero Ferrucci, was upset at being called up for compulsory army duty (as it was for every Italian male at the time). Assagioli did not share the same view of the situation. Instead he said “Great, now you will learn how to collaborate with the inevitable. This will be the most important part of your psychosynthesis training.”
Acceptance is an active stance.
Acceptance is not a passive or defeatist reaction to situations. By accepting you are actively choosing to ‘collaborate’, as said by Assagioli. Life tends to throw difficult things our way, we can either fight it or accept it. Acceptance is about surrendering and being open to the unknown.
In accepting something we recognise that we are not in charge, and do not always have control. We move to a position of modesty, which is crucial for change. Wanting to be in control and thinking we know what is best of us can be misguided. Being open can offer us unusual solutions to the challenges we face.
I hope the above article provides you with some peace and that in accepting whatever it is that challenges you now, you are able to move forward and make changes in your life.
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