A mother’s love

As mother’s day will soon be upon us, we should and often do celebrate by visiting her. After all, she has strongly influenced our psychological development since birth. She has been (in the majority of cases) the primary person that shaped our psychosocial developmental stages. As we grow up, our psyche is deeply efficacious by her agendas. We learned, gained knowledge and adopted behaviours through conditioning as we attach to her. We observed her personality traits and habits through reinforcement. As we get older, we do eventually break free from her tight grip through ecology and social impression. But the deep rooted negative emotions are ingrained.

Oh, a mother’s love.     

Attachment theory, as Freud explained in term of the Oedipus Complex and contemporary psychoanalysts explained via object relation therapy, have in common the basis of the core assumption and rejection. Attachment theory of Bowlby described a psychological model that explains the dynamic of interpersonal relationships between two parties. A relationship with one’s mother is most profound.

Oh, a mother’s love.

I proposed the concept that she has her best intentions for us. She has the best intention of raising us well so that we can mature into people who reach their potential. She has instilled in us the skills and prejudices that we can utilise and implement in social settings.

Oh, a mother’s love.

What I am discussing next may be hard to swallow. I propose that her best intention for her (with a view to raise us well) does not mean that it is the right way for us to be. As she is most cherished socially and receive appraisals for ‘our’ well-behaved manners, I conclude her to be a compulsive helper. This does not take away the love we have for her. It is simply another vision of an alternative to mothers who overtly exert herself onto their children’s life, living their life through their child.

Oh, a mother’s love.

As the relationship with one’s mother is probably the most complex of all types of relationship, counselling and psychotherapy can help to explore the complex dynamic of this relationship. Many professionals practice using multi-model approach including assertive skills, role-play and psychodrama to negotiate conflict resolution. Explore the relationship that you have with your mother.