Recent research from the Miscarriage Association and University College London has found that partners often feel unable to talk about their pain and upset when miscarriage happens. Many keep their true feelings hidden to avoid upsetting their wife or partner by saying the wrong thing.
Lack of information from medical staff about support groups also caused many partners to feel isolated and excluded.
Mahdi Hassan from south London wanted to be strong and offer support to his wife after she suffered a miscarriage at 16 weeks, but he soon realised he needed support himself.
“I did go straight back to work but then I felt I needed time off and took two weeks off.
“I’m a bus driver, and I’ve been quite emotional at work. When driving one day I found myself crying.”
When Mr Hassan took the step to open up and talk to others about the way he was feeling, he found that some of his colleagues at work had also experienced miscarriage. He said just talking to other people about it made him feel better, however he wishes there was more support for men.
“It’s quite unfortunate but there should be more support for men. We are put on the back bench.”
UCL researchers talked to 186 partners of women who had miscarried to find out how they dealt with their loss. Findings showed that 46% of all respondents did not share their feelings with their wife or partner. The reasoning behind this was to avoid causing any further distress.
Nearly half of those questioned said their work was affected and 47% suffered from sleeping difficulties. One in five said they felt excluded by healthcare staff and one in three complained that they were not given enough information about what was happening.
In response to these findings the Miscarriage Association has launched a public awareness campaign called ‘Partners Too’, producing a range of leaflets and films to inform partners. The campaign aims to provide information to partners and show them where they can find support.