5 reasons why you may need a neurodivergent therapist

Many neurodivergent individuals share with me their frustration with therapy, feeling stuck and as though it's too generic. Too often, they describe leaving sessions feeling more broken and hopeless than when they arrived, often with a string of labels or diagnosis but no answers, wondering if therapy is even the right path for them. This makes me so sad! If this sounds like you, while it may be a controversial stance, I believe that working with a neurodivergent therapist can make a world of difference.

The benefits of working with a neurodivergent therapist

In honour of Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I want to share just five of the many reasons why working with a neurodivergent therapist could be the key to unlocking the relational depth needed for real change! 

1. You can bring your full self to therapy 

As a neurodivergent person, one of the most important aspects of therapy is feeling like you can truly bring your full self to the table. But if your therapist continually focuses on the wrong things - like your appearance or lifestyle choices - rather than your complex lived experience, it can feel like you’re not really being heard.

Sometimes, therapists may struggle to understand the depth of your intersectional identities or the unique challenges of being perceived in a certain way. They might unintentionally centre their own perspective due to blind spots or assumptions, making it harder for you to feel truly understood. This lack of curiosity about your differences can leave you feeling like you need to hide parts of yourself, leading to shame or the fear of being misrepresented. And, let’s not forget the challenge of navigating therapy when your emotions feel amplified, and your therapist seems uncomfortable sitting with them.

All of these factors can make it difficult to feel fully supported, which is why working with a neurodivergent therapist can be such a game-changer - they’re more likely to understand and appreciate your unique experience, helping you feel seen and heard in a way that promotes real growth.

2. There’s less likely to be an unhelpful power dynamic 

Another reason a neurodivergent therapist might be a better fit for you is that the “norms” held by neurotypical therapists can sometimes create an unhelpful power dynamic.

Many neurotypical individuals may not have the lived experience or awareness of the systems of oppression that affect neurodivergent people daily, or what it feels like to live as an outsider or “edge dweller.” This lack of understanding can show up in therapy, where the traditional framing of the therapeutic relationship may unknowingly reinforce individualistic or capitalist norms - ideas that don’t resonate with or reflect the experiences of many neurodivergent individuals.

For example, a neurotypical therapist might struggle to understand the profound, whole-body response you may have to injustice, or how that impact reverberates in your daily life. A neurodivergent therapist, on the other hand, is more likely to recognise and validate these responses, creating a space where you feel understood and supported in ways that feel real and empowering, increasing your sense of connection and autonomy. 

3. You may need a unique mix of order and flow

In therapy, finding the right balance between order and flow is crucial, especially for neurodivergent individuals. A neurodivergent therapist is more likely to intuitively seek to understand and attune to your unique needs, creating a space where you feel both safe and supported. They may offer a sense of certainty while also allowing flexibility for change to unfold naturally, ensuring that therapy doesn’t feel rigid or overwhelming.

A neurodivergent therapist will hopefully take the time to understand your individual “safe scale” - where you find comfort between structure and spontaneity, between thinking and feeling, between stability and growth. This personalised pacing, along with the creation of meaningful rituals, can help you feel more grounded and open to the therapeutic process, knowing that the therapist is genuinely attuned to how you process the world.

4. You may need a more complex theoretical approach

Neurodivergent individuals often need a more complex, multifaceted approach to therapy - one that recognises the ever-changing nature of their needs. These needs may fluctuate throughout the month, depending on different cycles or modes of being, and can require both mental and somatic practices to address the full spectrum of experience. At times, it’s essential to feel and see tangible progress, while also managing the challenges of navigating a neurotypical world.

Therapy for neurodivergent individuals may require more of an ebb and flow - where deep dives into theory are balanced with slower, more integrated approaches to maintain and process the work. This flexibility allows for both intense exploration and a steady pace of integration, ensuring that healing doesn’t feel rushed or stagnant, but instead evolves at a rhythm that matches the complexities of your life.

5. You may need to feel more relational depth and representation

Therapy is ultimately about you, not the therapist, yet many therapists are taught that any self-disclosure is harmful. However, it can actually be helpful to know that your therapist has an understanding of your community and shared experiences. Whether intentional or not, therapists are always self-disclosing in subtle ways - perhaps through a wedding ring, their home setup, or even their accent or tone.

A neurodivergent therapist is more likely to understand the nuances of power imbalances or the potential for shame that can arise during therapy, and they can work intentionally to address these dynamics. This awareness can allow them to create a safer, more authentic space where you can build a trusting therapeutic bond, knowing that they’re genuinely attuned to your lived reality and conscious of their own projections. 

Final thoughts

In summary, I feel that for many people - working with a neurodivergent therapist can offer a more tailored, empathetic approach that recognises the complexity of your experiences and needs. From fostering a deeper understanding of your identity and challenges, to creating a therapeutic space where you can feel truly seen and heard, the benefits are vast.

However, it’s important to note that these ideas are purely a reflection of my personal experiences and perspectives during my years of private practice, and your journey may look different. If this article has been helpful or you feel may encourage a friend to continue on their search for the right therapist, I'd love for you to share it. We all deserve to feel seen, heard and supported!