I have received counselling sometime ago at two different stages in my life, both including grief of different types and with different counsellors. The first was about a divorce from a violent partner. I felt guilty but I had a 6 year old child to protect at all costs. I threw out the husband via a solicitor. He found it so difficult; we had an very tough divorce settlement and a minute amount of maintenance. He should really have been sectioned under the mental health act, but the police who came to the scene cared only for my child. Some things improved after that without complications. The second time was when my older child was having school and health problems. There was also sexual abuse hidden by her that my ex-husband and an accomplice were totally responsible for. I did not know about this as my daughter did not talk about what happened to her, alone with him. She doesn't forgive either, as she says I knew about it when I definitely did NOT. She had to go into care and she also went to a boarding school in the term time. The foster carers spoilt her, but not the siblings. I was not respected by the FCs or the social worker. Other matters had to be sorted and I refused to sign the care order because I had no income to provide her needs. I was in absolute pieces, in grief, pain and depression! I did not see her often. After about 9 months we got together with two social workers and we worked hard to be reconciled. We still work hard and there is still buried pain unresolved, but we seem at present to be getting on with fixing each other; she is in deep crisis even now, and talking therapy sometimes helps her to face things. She is a star in the reading she does. I am still helping her, but I am picking up on her and her partners deep deep pain of the last 4 years. Counselling does help, but I had to watch I did not become dependent on it.