Violent Attachments: Always Hurting The Ones We Love: Understanding Relational Violence from an Attachment and Trauma Perspective

Violent Attachments - A One-Day CPD Workshop

Always Hurting The Ones We Love:
Understanding Relational Violence from an Attachment and Trauma Perspective

Workshop Leader – Paul Renn

Saturday 11th July 2009
10am-4.30pm
October Gallery
24 Old Gloucester Street
London
WC1N 3AL


Cost £75
(£65 to members of TBC, IAN, FIP, IARPP, RTS and IAFP)


Workshop Description: The social and political implications of aggression and destructiveness cannot be overstated. Violence, in particular, is seen by many as having reached epidemic proportions in modern society.

Violence falls into two broad types of behaviour: predatory or psychopathic violence, which is held to be planned and emotionless, and in which the perpetrator seeks out a victim with whom he has no attachment relationship; and defensive or affective violence, which arises in reaction to a perceived threat to one’s personal safety or sense of self, and which is preceded by heightened levels of emotional arousal.

Findings show that the vast majority of violent assaults between adults occur within an existing attachment relationship and fall into the defensive or affective category. Research also reveals that childhood physical and sexual abuse takes place mainly within a domestic situation and is perpetrated by a member of the child’s family. Indeed, statistics show that, on average, in England and Wales each week two women are killed by their intimate male partners. Similar figures exist for children killed by those who are supposed to love and nurture them. As we know, recorded deaths are merely the tip of a very large iceberg. How is such widespread violence to be understood?

The workshop will focus on understanding defensive or affective violence, drawing on attachment and trauma theory and research, and on my own clinical experience with violent individuals and couples in both a forensic setting and private practice. From an attachment perspective, an important motivational factor in the perpetuation of archaic attachment bonds is the implicit desire to reproduce in the here and now a familiar relationship pattern, however violent and self-destructive this may be, precisely because it is familiar and, therefore, provides a modicum of felt security. Attachment theory holds that the person’s cognitive-affective internal working models of early self-other relationships mediate all subsequent relationships, particularly those developed with intimate partners in adulthood. The seemingly addictive propensity to repeatedly forge adult romantic relationships that are redolent of ties to early attachment figures, even when these are violent, abusive and traumatic, suggests that such behaviour may reflect neurochemical as well as psychological and emotional derivatives.

In addition to exploring these themes, the workshop will provide an opportunity to discuss some of the differences and similarities in the behaviour and attachment styles of both violent men and women. It will discuss whether conjoint work with violent and abusive couples, whether heterosexual or same-sex, is appropriate and may be effective, or whether such work should never be undertaken because of the risk of harm to the non violent partner. Within the confines of confidentiality, participants will be encouraged to discuss their own clinical experience in working with violent children, adolescents and adults.

In a small group task, participants will be invited to share their personal experiences of violence, whether as a child, adolescent or adult, and whether in the role of victim, perpetrator, rescuer or bystander. These experiences will, necessarily, need to be explored and elaborated in the context of each participant’s unique attachment history and socio-cultural milieu. Due weight will need to be given to experiences involving separation, loss, abuse and abandonment, and, in the case of childhood trauma, the impact on the person’s development of emotional understanding of the self and of others.
About the Workshop Leader: Paul Renn is a member of the Register of Trauma Specialists and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. He is a UKCP registered psychoanalytic psychotherapist, running a busy private practice in southwest London. He is a member of the Forum for Independent Psychotherapists and The Bowlby Centre where he is a teacher, training supervisor and training therapist. He has a background in the National Probation Service in London, developing a particular interest in assessing and working with violent men and couples from an attachment theory and research perspective. He is a member of the International Association for Forensic Psychotherapy, the International Attachment Network and the International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy. He has presented papers at international conferences and had articles published in professional books and journals in this country and abroad on the subjects of relationship violence and abuse, trauma and attachment issues.

For more information and to book a place on the workshop, please contact Paul Renn by email at paul_renn2003@yahoo.co.uk or by telephone on 0208 894 3696.
Booking early is advisable as the workshop is restricted to 20 participants.