Terry Burridge

Are you feeling overwhelmed and depressed? Are you finding it difficult to get up in the morning or have difficulty in sleeping at night? The roots of depression can often be found in early experiences. Together we can explore these and their impact on you and your life now.

How can I help? By listening - to what you say and what you don’t say. (Our silences can speak as loudly as our words.)

 I have worked with people with a variety of emotional difficulties. But in the end I work with people who are struggling in some way to make sense of life. My motto is “Don’t let your past control your future”. I will help you make connections between your past and your present. Which can in turn help you change your future.

You can find out more from my website www.aylesburycounsellor.co.uk

Give me a call today on: 07931 500783 or click here to send me an email.

Having been a psychiatric nurse for some 30 years, I am particularly interested in working with people who have a psychiatric label. All too often all you are offered are drugs but not talking therapy.. I am happy to offer you a space to think and talk about your symptoms and how they affect you.

Do contact me on 07931 500783 if you think I can help you.

Usually £60 per session but this can be discussed in the initial meeting.

We all recognise the Incredible Hulk who is also the mild mannered Dr Bannerman most of the time. Until there’s some kind of crisis. Then his other side takes over in the form of the Incredible Hulk. Pure feeling and instinct.

If something or someone gets in his way, he demolishes them, wanting only to reach his goal, with almost no regard for himself or others. If you are prone to bouts of anger, depression or anxiety, you might recognise this behaviour. On a bad day, heaven help anyone or anything who gets in your way. They will be swept aside ruthlessly. “You can’t expect anything from me. Look how angry/anxious/depressed I am.” “Going into work? Not a chance. Look at me.” Or our anger deflects from our fear. “You can’t expect me to that. I don’t know how. I need help” changes into “Me? Do that? What do you think I am? If you want that, do it yourself”. So we create self defeating cycles where our anger/anxiety/depression all step in to protect us. From what? From being vulnerable. Because to be vulnerable means acknowledging that we need help. We need other people. And, of course, our behaviour has just the opposite effect. Who’s going to risk getting too close to the Hulk? The amount of damage he can unthinkingly do is huge. Better to wait until he has calmed down before approaching. When Dr Bannerman reappears, we’ll get involved. Until then, we’ll keep our heads down.

There are various ways to manage this Hulk/Dr Bannerman split. One very effective way is by using a breathing exercise. To train ourselves to breath slowly and deeply when we feel a “Hulk moment“ coming on. This can work well, up to a point. The trouble is that we sometimes like our “Hulk moments”. It makes us feel powerful and in control. Which is true but doesn’t take into account the damage we can still cause.

Another way is to try to train ourselves to recognise when a “Hulk moment” is likely to emerge. At this point we try to reframe our thoughts. ”When he said ‘No pudding, thank you' he wasn’t rejecting me or my cooking. He was full!” This can work as long as we can allow ourselves to say it. On a bad day, we go off in a sad, angry sulk.

There is another way of looking at our anger/anxiety/depression cycle. This is to look back at where we learned this behaviour. How did your family deal with conflict? Or loss? Or other difficulties? Were they able to talk about difficult feelings and situations? Money problems? One of the children being bullied? Or bullying? Did mum and dad work as a team or did they go off into separate corners and throw emotional bombs at each other? What did I learn from this? Has it helped or hindered me in my life so far?

Coming to see me will allow you to look at this last option. To see how our past shapes our present and, in turn, our future. And to make choices about how we live our lives.

The Incredible Hulk or Dr Bannerman. The choice is yours to make.