Siobhan Lane Counsellor and Psychosexual Therapist
I offer a confidential counselling service that covers both Hull and the East Riding. I'm based in the City Centre of Hull; a walk away from the Hull Interchange, making it easily accessible for public transport, there is also parking facilities available.
Please telephone for further details and for an informal chat or if you would prefer send me a text or an email and I will reply to you as soon as it is possible.
Hello, a Little About Me…..
I am an experienced and fully qualified Relationship, Individual and Family Counsellor and Psycho Sexual Therapist. I place such value on my role as a Counsellor and am very passionate about helping people when they are facing one of life’s challenges, as it is at times like this; people tend to feel overwhelmed and desperate and often struggle to see a way forward, without the right support.
Counselling can offer you a safe, confidential place to talk about your life and any issues that might be confusing, painful or uncomfortable that you may need help dealing with. It can help you identify areas where change may be needed and guide you through this stage in your life. Working with you I will offer warmth, understanding, empathy and a non-judgemental approach in a relaxed and comfortable setting helping you gain a better understanding of your current circumstances to enable you to move forward and where possible make positive changes.
The therapeutic relationship with your Counsellor is very important and I believe it is essential you feel completely comfortable and at ease with the Counsellor whom you choose to let into your very private world. It is for this reason that I do not charge for the first half hour of the initial session as this gives you the opportunity to meet with me and decide whether you would feel comfortable working with me further.
I trained and work as an Integrative Counsellor, drawing upon theories and techniques from different approaches such as; Psychodynamic, (your past/present relationships) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT (the impact of your thoughts and feelings upon your behaviour), Systemic (what’s happening around you, for example within your family). Essentially, the Integrative Approach allows me to tailor the therapy to your individual need as therapy is not a ‘one size fits all’ approach.
However, don't worry if none of this makes sense to you right now as the emphasis of my approach is the relationship between client and counsellor. What is most important is I will be there for you, to listen to your problems, and help you, to the very best of my ability to move forward, through what is probably a very difficult period in your life.
If you are reading this you are probably in a place where you are seeking support, and you are now one step closer to getting that support…keep going….I look forward to welcoming you as a client and to working with you.
With Warmest Regards,
Training, qualifications & experience
The Hall Recovery Course for Sex Addiction Leamington Spa
ATSAC Professional Certificate in Sexual Addiction Warwickshire College, Henley
Relate Certificate in Online Counselling Relate Institute, Doncaster
IAPT Certificate in Couple Therapy for Depression Tavistock Centre, London
Post Graduate Diploma in Psycho Sexual Therapy Relate Institute, Doncaster (University of Hull)
Relate Certificate in Telephone Counselling Relate Institute, Doncaster
Relate Certificate in Family Counselling Herbert Grey College, Rugby
Relate Certificate in Couple Counselling Herbert Grey College, Rugby
*All qualifications can be viewed upon request
I continue to engage in ongoing Professional Development Training/Courses/Workshops/Conferences to ensure my skills, knowledge and practice are kept up to date (certificates available to view, upon request).
I am an experienced and fully qualified Relationship, Individual and Family Counsellor and Psycho Sexual Therapist. I trained with Relate Hull & East Yorkshire and have over 16 years’ experience working with Relate, the local Primary Care Trust and in private practice helping people with a variety of issues – I work with individuals, couples, families and young people and also have many years of experience counselling lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer clients across all areas of my work and welcome clients from the LGBT Community. I am also a Trainer, delivering a variety of courses, for example, Counselling Skills, Family Issues and Managing Stress, to both the public and private sectors.
Over my 16 years working as a qualified Counsellor and Therapist I have respected individuality and uniqueness, not discriminating, ensuring therapy is available to all and have helped many couples, individuals and families work through a variety of issues, such as, relationship breakdown, communication problems, bereavement, depression, bullying, anger, stress, trauma, low self esteem, physical, sexual and domestic abuse, redundancy, adoption, as well as sexual issues relating to difficulties, addictions and identity.
I have regular supervision, both individually and as part of a group of qualified Counsellors, working within the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) guidelines for ongoing professional development. I am a member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (ATSAC).
I hold a current Enhanced DBS Certificate and I have Private Indemnity Insurance.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Anorexia nervosa
- Attachment disorder
- Binge-eating disorder
- Bipolar disorder/Manic depression
- Bulimia nervosa
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Gender dysphoria
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Internet addiction
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
Other areas of counselling I deal with
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the strains of everyday life mount. Pressures of work, family, money, health, affairs, rejection, loss – the list is endless can all take their toll on a relationship. Suddenly the person we sought comfort from, we now reject and the relationship that once recharged us leaves us feeling drained and disappointed.
You may feel the love in the relationship is diminishing, replaced by resentment and anger and depending on your own experiences of family life and previous relationships each of you may deal with this differently. Although arguments can be painful and unpleasant, they are common in all kinds of relationships. But disagreements don't have to end in hostile silence or a screaming match, communication is at the heart of all relationships.
Couple counselling can help you recognise and address destructive patterns of behaving and communicating. New relationship skills can be learned, enabling you to deal with discussions on emotive topics, improving communication and decreasing conflict within the relationship leading to a healthier and happier relationship.
Many families can be a big source of love, support and encouragement but sometimes relationships within families can be put under everyday pressures and face unexpected change. This can leave some family members feel isolated or disregarded, finding it difficult to adapt or accept the changes, causing family conflict.
For example, coping with a new baby, siblings not getting along, difficulties with parents/in-laws or facing challenges parenting teenagers as they strive for more independence. There may be difficulties adjusting to new family dynamics due to divorce, separation or living within a new step-family – ‘blending two families together’ and new personalities trying to get along.
Family Counselling can help family members address destructive patterns of behaving and communicating, enabling them to learn new effective ways to communicate. This will help reduce conflict within the family and strengthen relationships enabling the family to support each other through difficult times and unite as a family.
During my many years experience working as a Family Counsellor I have worked with lots families with varied needs and dependent on the needs of the family the sessions can be attended by a variety of family members. For example, parents and their children, step parents and step children, in-laws and partners, siblings, grandparents, close friends, there is no limit to who you include within your family sessions, it is based on the uniqueness of your family and who you believe is important within your family and could help to resolve your family difficulties.
Young People Counselling
For young people counselling offers a safe and confidential environment to talk to a trusted adult who won’t judge them, and who isn't their parent, as some things are difficult to talk to parents about. Just like adults, young people can experience a range of difficulties in their life in which counselling could be helpful.
For example, challenging relationships at school due to breakdown of friendships, bullying, peer-pressure or exam stress. There may be difficulties at home adjusting to new family dynamics due to divorce, separation or living within a new step-family or issues relating to experiencing abusive behaviour, such as physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
Any of these emotions and difficulties can leave a young person feeling helpless, hopeless and very alone, often resulting in low self esteem and loss of confidence.
During my many years experience working therapeutically with children and young people and understand some young people can find communication difficult and initially may struggle to express their emotions or difficulties. I acknowledge the value of being able to build a warm and trusting relationship to enable young people to feel safe and respected.
I apply the same principles when working with children and young people as I do with adults. I offer them respect, warmth, empathy and compassion and trust by working together I can help them find their own way in life through personal growth and increased confidence.
If you are a young person and feel that counselling may be helpful for you, please call or email me so we can discuss what might be the next best step for you.
Sex is a very personal thing, and for many people talking about sexual issues can be difficult and embarrassing. However, talking about the issues and seeking help is often the best thing you can do to improve your sex life as sexual issues can arise at any time in your life for a range of reasons and can have a significant impact upon the couple relationship.
It’s natural to want better sex and sometimes there are specific psychological or medical reasons for your difficulties. Many sexual problems are psychological in origin and this is what psycho sexual therapy deals with. If you are in a relationship which is essentially sound but it is suffering because of sexual problems then PST, more commonly known as ‘sex therapy’ can help.
I understand there can be concerns about what coming for sex therapy involves so to reassure you, you would never be asked to do anything in the counselling room other than talk. Having explored the problems with you I will design a therapy programme for you including exercises for you to do with your partner in the privacy of your own home to achieve the goals set out by you the client. We will meet regularly to discuss your progress and to deal with any issues that arise. The treatment plans are all individually tailored for the needs of the individual / couple using a range of theories including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
The first 30 minutes of your Initial Appointment is Free of Charge; This gives us an opportunity to discuss your difficulties and to decide if it is right for you to have further sessions and if so, if you feel you would like to continue working with me.
Psycho Sexual Therapy
£40 Per Session
Sex / Porn Addiction
£50 Per Session
I appreciate for some people daytime appointments can be difficult, therefore I can offer later appointments between 6pm-8pm, however evening appointments will incur an extra fee of £5 per hour.
Counselling Room is Wheelchair Accessible
Payments Can Be Made by Cash or Card at Each Session
48 hours Notice is Required to Rearrange or to Cancel an Appointment
Sex and Porn Addiction
Sexual Addiction is the term used to describe any sexual activity that feels 'out of control'. That might be sex with a partner, viewing pornography, masturbation, visiting sex workers, or any number of other sexual activities. Although many of these activities don't cause a problem for most people, a person with a sex addiction feels compelled to engage in their chosen activity, in spite of the problems it may cause in their personal/family/work relationships.
Sex becomes addictive in a similar way to alcohol and other drugs. During sex, our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good and some people get addicted to the high these chemicals produce. Like substance addictions, the body gets used to these chemicals and the sufferer soon finds that they need more and more sex in order to achieve the same buzz. As with chemical addiction, in between the highs of sexual fulfilment are the lows. Most addicts feel an immense amount of shame about their behaviour. They also feel regret, remorse, anxiety and isolation, most feel powerless to change.
Unfortunately these powerful feelings often cause the sufferer to seek out sex as a way to escape. Sex becomes a pain reliever, an escape from the very problem that it has created itself.
Access to porn nowadays is much easier due to the widespread use of the Internet and what can start off as a harmless stress or sexual release can for some lead to compulsive usage where you have little control over your use of Internet pornography. You might initially plan to go on the internet for a short period of time but then find yourself on a pornography website and before you know it hours end up passing.
You may even have escalated from viewing porn to escaping into your virtual world enrolling on dating sites, meeting people online for cybersex, arranging one night stands with strangers or starting serial affairs.
Excessive use of sexual porn/fantasy can change how you feel about partner sex as it can even cause lack of desire and erectile dysfunction. If your use of the internet is having a negative impact on your life and starting to have priority over other interests, for example, friends, family and romantic relationships you may need support.
Sexual Addiction – Am I an Addict?
If you answer yes to 5 or more of the following questions, you may benefit from making an appointment for a full assessment.
1) Feeling that your behaviour is out of control
2) Being aware that there may be severe consequences if you continue
3) Feeling unable to stop your behaviour, in spite of knowing the consequences
4) Persistently pursuing destructive and/or high risk activities
5) Wanting to stop or control what you're doing and taking active steps to limit your activities
6) Using sexual fantasies as a way of coping with difficult feelings or situations
7) Needing more and more of the sexual activity in order to experience the same level of high
8) Suffering from intense mood swings around sexual activity
9) Spending more time planning, engaging in, regretting/recovering from sexual activities
10) Neglecting important social, occupational or recreational activities in favour of sexual behaviour
If You Think You Suffer from Sexual Addiction
The first step to overcoming the problem is to acknowledge that you are in the grips of an addiction and that your behaviour has damaging consequences. You need to accept that this problem will not go away by itself and you need to take personal responsibility to recover from your addiction. The majority of addicts find it very difficult to change their behaviour on their own. You may be able to curtail the behaviour for a while, but often a cycle develops that is extremely hard to break.
How I can help you?
I provide both individual therapy and group treatment programs to help people with sex and porn addiction to stop their unwanted behaviours. Therapy can be especially beneficial for exploring the deeper unconscious processes that often cause and fuel addiction and helping you to develop a full understanding of the everyday events and feelings that can trigger behaviours as well as helping you to develop long term relapse prevention strategies. As a professional Sex Addiction Therapist I can help you to explore your concerns about your sexual addiction, understand where it began for you and whether it was due to some traumatic experiences, difficulties in making and maintaining relationships with others or an opportunity that became a habit. The recovery work will help you to find other ways of making yourself feel better about yourself without harmful consequences and finding the road back to a healthy sexual lifestyle.
Support for Partners
I also offer support for partners as most partners are devastated to discover their partner is addicted to sex and/or pornography and many find it difficult to believe it’s even true. Others may have been battling for years to discover the truth and may feel relieved when the truth is finally out. Partners need their own space to recover from the shock of discovery and someone who understands the problem who can help them decide what their future will hold.
I hold the ATSAC Professional Certificate in Treating Sexual Addiction and have undertaken The Hall Recovery Course Training. I offer a compassionate, ethical practice and due to the sensitive nature of this work, all clients can be assured of total discretion and absolute confidentiality, as with all other areas of my practice.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|