Helen Howat

Trained as a Relate counsellor and psychosexual therapist I have been helping couples and individuals with their relationships for many years.

I know how distressing, draining and lonely it can feel if your relationship isn't working or if you are struggling to be in a relationship.  I also know how helpful it can be to talk this through with a counsellor - either on your own or with a partner.

I can offer you an opportunity to think things through, to talk about them and to find a way forward.

You may need me to:
                              * Just listen
                              * Ask questions
                              * Help you talk and listen to one another
                              * Dare to look at what you have been avoiding
                              * Talk with you about your sexual relationship
                              * Help you make connections
                              * Suggest new things to try which might make a difference

I can support you to look at what you are doing, thinking and feeling and perhaps look at how your past is affecting you now.  If sex therapy feels appropriate then I can provide a structured treatment programme paced just right for you.

What is relationship counselling?
Generally people come to relationship counselling because they can no longer put-up with how things are between them.  This leaves two options - to change the relationship or to leave it.
By first of all looking at your relationship from a variety of angles: when things began to change; what has been happening over the course of the relationship; how work/children/in-laws/money/illness are impacting; previous relationships; your sexual relationship; the effect of different up-bringings, you can gain a thorough understanding of why your relationship is at this point. Once you have this understanding you are in a better position to make decisions about it and to make changes that stick.
The main outcome from relationship counselling, from my experience, is an improvement in communication - being able to talk more openly and honestly; listening and understanding one another; negotiating and problem solving.

People come for help with their relationship both on their own and together.

What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy involves a structured, gently-paced series of activities that you do on your own or with your partner in the privacy of your own home. I would help you to talk about how the activities had gone, how you had felt and what you were thinking.  No activities are carried out in the therapy room or in my presence.
The gradual nature of the treatment allows sexual confidence to build and for you to become more open in how you talk with each other.

Sexual difficulties that can be helped include:
      - problems in achieving or maintaining an erection (Erectile Dysfunction)
      - ejaculating too quickly (Premature Ejaculation)
      - not being able to ejaculate when you want to
      - loss of desire
      - pain on intercourse
      - inability to achieve orgasm (Anorgasmia)
      - inability to achieve penetration