George Blair MA, FIP, UKCP
What I can offer is attention. It amazes me more and more what profound changes come from being heard and seen, not just by another, but more importantly, by ourselves; and perhaps through an unconscious communication of ours being heard by another we may come to the realisation that what we had always thought of as being heard was in fact not that but the wish to be approved of or a fear of being found out. That would imply, would it not, an inability to see much beyond being defined by others and dependent on what was to be done to earn that assurance and avoid rocking the boat. This adds up to a very defended and suspicious position! It could be thought to be some sort of safety, but only in that it keeps our own unconscious promptings at bay, where it is vital they be heard. Otherwise we are in something of a dead end. That unconscious need to be known for who we are is crucial. By not paying attention to it we can only pretend we feel fulfilled and become of set mind and have a sense of frustration, loneliness perhaps, boredom, apathy, a constant need to placate the other, and unaccountably depressed. That spells a relatively colourless existence, a state that has been called a 'false self'.
Then, what does it take to gain an inkling of the possibility of being in touch with our own passion? Desperation perhaps! Or taking the risk from moment to moment of discovering who we really are. I say 'risk' because it is a place of not knowing. But it seems that is where life's adventure always begins.
A therapist is likely to ask at the beginning of a treatment about your brothers and sisters, for example, are they older or younger and by how much. Why would he do that? Is it a polite social enquiry, just a piece of history, to make you feel at ease? Why otherwise would he want to know where you come in the family? Well, it may sound irrelevant. On the other hand, it may come to have great significance for you.
How I came to be more aware of this was through a talk given by a seasoned colleague: When Siblings Become Couples. Given time, certain attitudes and behaviour patterns of mine inappropriate to being a considerate grown-up and related to fluctuating moods became one-by-one highlighted. These I now have bracketed in my mind as my Elder Brother Syndrome.
I coined this term because when I consider how each moody episode may reverberate an agony of being supplanted, which in infancy could not possibly be tolerated and so was buried, a fresh perspective becomes possible.
Caveat: It need not be the case that the psyche of the first child is marked with the anxiety of an identification with being supplanted. But there would seem to be an innate preconception of this in all of us. But the presentiment is allayed where the distress is intuited by mother and reparative instincts come into play. In which case a crucial building block in the infant's nascent ego is laid down.
Training, qualifications & experience
I am qualified as an analytic psychotherapist and a full member of FiP (Forum of Independent Psychotherapists) which is an Organisation Member of the CPJA College of UKCP.
My original profession followed in the family tradition for which I trained at St Andrews University where I studied Philosophy and subsequently Theology at Edinburgh University leading to ordination in the Church of Scotland. During that time I was becoming increasingly interested in psychotherapeutic issues and was invited to become a tutor in the Clinical Theology Association.
My initial training, following three years in analysis with a Jungian was Humanistic at the Chiron Centre in London from which I gained a Diploma as an integrative therapist in the UKCP in 1996. By then I was recognising the direction of my interest to be psychoanalytic. I affiliated myself with the Squiggle Foundation which guided my studies and supervised my work and at the same time I began ten years of analytical psychotherapy with a psychoanalyst. I was accredited a Psychoanalytical practitioner by the Forum of Independent Psychotherapists in 2008.
At present I work four days a week and see patents once a week or twice weekly.
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Avoidant personality disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Child related issues
- Dependent personality disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Paranoid personality disorder
- Personality disorders
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Loss, Bereavement, Mourning, Melancholia and Phobias
My fees are between £50 to £60 and may, depending on circumstances, be negotiable.
People sometimes ask, "What kind of people do you see?" The best answer I have arrived at so far is: "People like you and me."
I am particularly interested in creativity and the meaning of depression, boredom and apathy.
My main focus is to understand at depth what is the nature of the unconscious communications that occur between the two parties to a therapy relationship.
I have been in a monthly Tavistock group over a period of four years where much emphasis is laid on the relationship between difficult childhood and ingrained destructive attitudes and behaviour in the adult.
I am interested to explore the limits of what an analytical approach can achieve in terms of the integration of the self which is basically the analytic quest.
I am fairly passionate about literature both as art and as the exploration of the human condition.
I am intrigued by the influence of the culture of the family, positively and negatively.
I haven't ever done Infant Observation as a part of my training but I have three grandchildren!
I have a strong sense of the vital importance of dreams.
I have much more faith in not knowing than I do in any form of fundamentalism.
I do not believe in the medical model in my work; both parties are in search of themselves.
The place of mystical experiences is a subject that greatly interests me.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
I have at present a few space in the morning, late afternoon, and early evening..
Types of client