Without Child

August 11th, 2009 by Sheila O'Sullivan MAEd

WITHOUT CHILD: Elective and non-elective childlessness

I would like to present the ideas that I will be pursing through a PhD study. Most of the literature on infertility is from a psychoanalytic perspective, whereas my reading so far shows that research on elective childlessness is sociological. In my clinical life and personal life many women I have met have not actively chosen childlessness and neither are they infertile. This I see as an area that is under-researched from a psychological perspective. In terms of body psychotherapy the issue of childlessness and its ramifications is a neglected area and I wonder if this is because most of the writers are men. However research shows that there are an increasing number of childless men. All of this comes at a time when the Archbishop of Canterbury is calling for people to use the present recession as a way of living a more monastic life. David Attenborough too made a speech where he is advocating population control as a means of protecting our planet.

There are many reasons why a woman maybe without child. These could be categorised as involuntary childlessness caused by explained or unexplained infertility, or those who want a child but have for a variety of circumstances missed the boat. There are lesbian women too who want a child but find the options available to them to conceive are too onerous to overcome. Research has also shown that ambivalence about whether or not to be a mother plays a part in childlessness. Some women lose a child through death or others may have no contact with their children because of migration or family break-up, so they are effectively childless. Others argue that rising infertility is caused by environmental factors such as an increasing use of chemicals in food production and in households. Social change such as an increase in women drinking, smoking and having children at an older age is also a contributory factor. Another group of women actively elect to be childless, again for a multitude of reasons.

Most of the literature focuses on infertility and reproductive technology. Without doubt women suffer pain and loss if fertility treatments do not result in the longed for child. Research shows that it is mainly white middle class women who pursue reproductive technology because of the costs involved so the debate about infertility could well be telling only part of the story. Medical evidence is now revealing that there are health risks associated with reproductive treatments both for the woman and the child.

Infertility can be explained as a result of biological problems such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts or sometimes damage caused by cancer treatment. Psychoanalysts would argue that infertility can be caused by the woman unconsciously rejecting the role of being a mother because of difficult relationships with her own mother. This would result in her internalising negative object relations in relation to her own inner child. Consequently her psychic space is too immature to give birth to a biological child. Erickson would argue that she has not achieved the stage of generativity where she perceives that she can give birth to a new generation, or to be creative in other ways that can benefit others. Body psychotherapists suggest that early trauma and development stages give rise to body armouring and restrictions in energy flow which would create hormonal and chemical imbalances which lead to a womans inability to conceive. Both body psychotherapists and psychoanalysts may take the view that the body remembers, has its own wisdom and has decided that to be a mother or to conceive is too high a price to pay for the woman to maintain her own well-being. Most of the factors expressed above perceive infertility as a problem that needs to be fixed through medical or psychological intervention. Medical treatment can be given to help the woman to become pregnant or the childless woman needs to examine her own internal world to see how she has contributed to her condition.

There are another group of women who elect to be childless and there is far less psychological literature written about this issue, although much has been written from a sociological perspective. The reasons for these choices again can be manifold. Some women choose to be celibate for religious reasons such as Roman Catholics choosing to become nuns and dedicating their lives to God. In Hinduism the feminine s often worshipped and there are goddesses who have chosen to be childless. Economic reasons too may contribute to this decision and research has shown that over the last 200 years, childlessness has in the western world increased during periods of recession. Women may choose a career and be reluctant to make the economic sacrifices that would ensue in order to have a child. Others argue that they simply do not have maternal feelings, some liking children, others hating them, and they have no regrets about not being a mother. More controversially, recent research has shown that a gene responsible for maternal feelings, may actually be lacking in some women. This would call into question Bowlbys theory that maternal attachment is biological norm and could also explain how some mothers find mothering a difficult task. Joan Raphael-Leff introduces the concept of generative identity which takes place between 1836 months. This is when a child comes to terms with their limitations, accepts being only one sex and recognises oneself as a potential progenitor. If this stage is successfully achieved the woman is free from the stereotypical roles of feminine or masculine so that express their creativity in other ways rather than feeling the need to have a child to be fulfilled. Jungian would consider that a balance between the anima and animus has been achieved. My reading also shows that many women who choose to be childless may also experience abortions, and sterilisation and they are more prone to developing certain kinds of cancer which women with children are more protected from.

On another note there are woman who choose not to be mothers for environmental reasons. They see that the planet is overcrowded, polluted and filled with political unrest so they consider that it is moral and responsible choice that they are making to contribute to the well-being of the planet and future generations. Many consider that these women have reached a higher state of consciousness as they do not need children as a way of proving they are a woman or as a way of leaving behind something of themselves. From a feminist perspective, one could argue that women who elect to be childless have separated the feminine from motherhood.

Despite the fact that since the 1960s women have had greater choices, there are still negative stereotypes of childless women and motherhood is glorified. Politically the family is promoted, economically families get tax entitlements, and from a religious perspective motherhood and children are given a special position. Voluntary and involuntary childless women report feelings of being marginalised and stereotyped and are not accounted for as a separate group with rights and responsibilities. More women now than ever before are aging without children in the Uk. Research shows that many of these include women from the British Pakistani community as well as other groups who have migrated here and presently there are no policies in place to account for the psychological and social needs of this section of the population.