A Relationship With Alcohol

August 22nd, 2008 by Christopher Warren-Dickins, PDip (Counselling & Psychotherapy)

Relationships. They are everywhere. We are in relationship with ourselves, different parts of ourselves are in relationship with other parts (the part that wants the chocolate but the other that stops it) and we are in relationship with other people.

When it comes to counselling or psychotherapy, the relationship between counsellor and client is an important focus. Often how we behave, think and feel in the relationship inside the therapy session is a reflection on how we relate to others in the outside world.

And alcohol? We all have a relationship with alcohol, whether we drink or abstain. If we drink, or have in the past, alcohol may have had an influence on our relationships, whether that is with ourselves or other people. It could have jeopardised the relationship, it could have been a reflection of a tortuous relationship with ourselves or other people.

Dave Mearns and Mick Cooper wrote an enlightening book on relationships (’Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy’) and in it Mearns explored his work with Dominic, a client who had been struggling in his relationship with alcohol. What was striking was that Mearns refused to base his therapeutic approach around the client’s drinking. Instead, the preferred approach was to be in relationship with the client, immersing himself in whatever the client may be experiencing: ‘To fully encounter a client in an in-depth way means letting go of our agenda and being with him, in whichever way he is and in whatever direction he wants to go’. The relationship between Mearns and Dominic was crucial to the therapeutic work.

The importance of the relationship has empirical backing - in Hubble et al’s ‘The Heart and Soul of Change’, 30% of success in therapy was found to be due to the therapeutic relationship. But this only supports the importance of the relationship. It is not the only factor which determines success. Hubble et al also identified client client variables (40%), expectancy (15%) and specific techniques for specific problems (for example CBT for OCD).

Related Information

Addiction(s)