Sharn Waldron

3 High Street
Sawston
Cambridgeshire
CB22 3BG
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01223 839867
www.sharnwaldron.co.uk
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About Me

I have been a psychotherapist for the past twenty years. I am trained in relationship, family and individual therapy and I have a particular interest in working with survivors of sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse in their lives. I use the framework of analytical psychology (Carl Jung) as the basis for my work.

Analytical psychology (Jungian) believes that a person's experience of life has its genesis at a time before coping mechanisms are developed, before an independent sense of security and stability has had time to consolidate. Analytical psychology understands that the individual is deeply affected by the net of past experiences. They impact on the way in which present experiences are assimilated or repressed and how these experiences affect our present relationships and life experiences.

Training, Qualifications & Experience

I have worked in industry and in community health, and I have been in private practice for the past twelve years. I am a member of the Forum for Independent Psychotherapists and I am on the register for the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy. I am currently in private practice in Sawston, Cambridgeshire.

Areas of counselling I deal with

Other areas of counselling I deal with

                                       Anger Management

Anger … Aggression… Its Management – an outline.

Anger and Coping with Provocation

What is anger?

Anger is a feeling an emotion. The arousal of anger is an emotional reaction to certain kinds of stress that are known as provocation. It is different from aggression which is an action that is intended to cause injury or harm.

When we become angry, we lose our patience, our blood pressure increases and we act impulsively. But becoming angry also gives us strength, determination, even satisfaction. Anger can have desirable as well as undesirable effects. It is important to remember the difference between ANGER and AGGRESSION.

Anger is a feeling to which you are entitled.

Aggression is an action that causes harm.

Anger need not lead to aggression. When you are aware of how to express anger in a constructive way, it can lead to beneficial outcomes.

When Does Anger Become a Problem?

When it is too frequent…

We must begin to make a distinction between the times when it is allright to be angry and when being angry isn’t a proper response.

When it is too intense?

High levels of anger are a stress on our body. Anger is best kept at moderate levels.

When it lasts too long …

When anger does not go away, usually when we remind ourselves of past incidents that have upset us, our body’s systems are prevented from returning to normal levels, making us more susceptible to further aggravation.

When it leads to aggression…

Aggressive acts will get us into trouble.

When it disturbs work relationships…

When anger interferes with doing a good job or makes it hard for people to relate to us, it starts to have a high cost.

What Causes Anger?

Anger is the result of external factors, Internal factors, and the result of the interactions between them which is our behaviour.

External factors:

Frustrations

Annoyance and Irritations

Abuse

Injustice or unfairness

Internal Factors:

Thoughts

Expectations

Our judgement of situations or persons

Self statements: our expectations of situations or persons.

Feelings

Tensions

Ill humour.

Anger is not caused by external events alone. It is also due to how we experience those events. The same situation can obviously mean different things to different people.

How do we behave when angry?

Withdraw/avoid B. Antagonise/Hostile/Aggressive.

Anger Management:

This does not mean suppressing your anger or keeping a tight rein on it. Rather, it is learning how to keep anger at a moderate level and then using it in two principal ways:-

As a signal that it is time to take constructive actions, and 2. As a source of energy to get that action accomplished.

Anger Management means learning how to not get angry so often and how to prevent it from lasting too long.

Anger management keeps us from being the victim of our own anger.

Anger management means taking action that is aimed at resolving a problem.

Anger management is diplomatic assertion – self awareness, self confidence and communication are the keys.

Anger management is a strategic and calculated confrontation that is aimed at resolving a problem.

Childhood Sexual Abuse: Surviving

Sexual abuse of children is a serious problem that has life-long consequences. These consequences go much further than the immediate trauma observed in child victims. A non-complaining, apparently normal child may be suffering grotesquely perverse sexual assault in the company of a caretaker who is conspicuously trustworthy and who seems to the outside world incapable of malice or perversion. The adult survivors frequently experience impaired self esteem, basic trust, intimacy, sexual function and mental health.

The key objective of psychotherapy with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, is to foster healing and growth by working through the reactions to the abuse experience and in that process, developing an understanding of the effects the abuse and its aftermath have had upon their psychological functioning, their relationships and their current experiences of life and living.

In working psychotherapeutically with adults who have endured the experience of sexual abuse, it is important to provide a safe environment that will allow the individual to acknowledge and begin to process the memories and the associated pain they have experienced so that the experiences of abuse no longer have the power to control behaviour and responses. This process enables the individual to take control of their own life and living.

Dissociation.

Dissociation is a mental process which produces a lack of connections in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, and sense of identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating, some information is not associated with other information as it normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma from their ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap surrounding the experience. Because this process can produce changes in memory, people who frequently dissociate often find their senses of personal history and identity are affected.

When confronted by an overwhelmingly traumatic situation from which there is no physical escape, a child may resort to ‘going away’ in his or her head.  Children use this technique as an extremely effective defence against acute emotional and/or physical pain. By this dissociative process, thoughts, feelings, memories and perceptions of the traumatic experience can be separated psychologically, allowing the child to function as if the trauma had not occurred.

Dissociative disorders are highly creative survival techniques because they allow individuals enduring hopeless circumstances to preserve some areas of healthy functioning. However, when a child has been subjected to repetitive physical, emotional or sexual assaults over an extended period of time, defensive dissociation becomes reinforced and conditioned. The dissociative escape is so effective, the child who is practiced at it may automatically use it whenever they feel anxious, frightened or threatened, even if the anxiety-producing situation is not abusive. In an adult who has experienced this, as a child, dissociation becomes part of their fabric. This causes difficulties in present life and living and can often result in feelings of not being really present, in unaccounted losses of time, in sudden eruptions of unexpected and overwhelming feelings disproportionate to the present situation.

People often wonder if there is any cure for these experiences. Yes there is!  Dissociative Identity Disorders are responsive to individual psychotherapy although the course of treatment may be long term, intensive and at times painful as it involves remembering and reclaiming the traumatic experiences and the part of the self that was dissociated by that experience.

Grief and Bereavement

The grief associated with bereavement is not a feeling that is easy to describe.  There may be a good deal of ambivalence at the time, for example sorrow and disappointment may be mixed with anger, guilt and anxiety.  Bereavement is a stress that can precipitate psychiatric disorder and psychosomatic illness.  Many widows, for example, experience feelings of guilt about their role in the events leading up to the death of their husbands. The reorganisation called for following the death of a spouse introduces an added source of stress with regard to emotional deprivation and living arrangements.

Bereavement is the loss of someone very precious; grief is the resultant emotional experience of being bereaved. Most people think of grief as a natural response to someone being bereaved and would be suspicious if someone denied or hid his or her feelings of bereavement. Many people see grief as therapeutic, a healing and necessary process before people can move on with their lives. We are often told “Get it off your chest and have a good cry!” However grief is more complicated than that. It is a dynamic and we live through it.  We go through a number of steps along the way, each of which is hard work.  It is not just a passive force of letting out pent up feelings.  It is an active process of adjustment and a positive ‘letting go’ of something or someone that has been very precious to you for a long time.

There is no right way to grieve. Grieving varies from person to person and from culture to culture. The point about grief is not how it is done but that it should be done somehow. Things may go wrong. Grief may be denied totally, or it can begin and then be inhibited. It may be turned towards the body instead of outwards to relationships with other people.  We quite often see a person who appears not to be affected by grief but know that such good spirits are superficial and brittle. If grief is delayed or inhibited, superficial relief is only gained for a short time.  When grieving does start it is often more severe because it has been delayed. Psychotherapy during this time can offer an understanding of the mourning process and help resolve areas of conflict still remaining and help the bereaved person adjust to their life with all its changes, good and bad.

Depression

Depression is a down-swing in mood state and energy.

The word "depression" is used to describe a whole range of experiences - varying from feeling "blue", "out-of-sorts" or "caught in a rut" through to overwhelming "black despair". Most people have experienced that depression which is a response to grief, loss or other painful life experiences. People report that their emotions are "dried out", that they want to cry but are unable to do so. They feel sad and worthless. Mood can alter during the day; many people feel most depressed early in the morning or late at night. Thoughts move slowly in times of depression. Ideas are few. Memory may be impaired. The mind feels sluggish and unresponsive. Ill health can result.

Each person experiences depression in their own way. Sometimes people feel tired and heavy, their muscles feel slack and their faces look weighted down. Others experience such overwhelming anxiety that they feel agitated and restless. Some people experience constipation, others diarrhoea. Changes in sleep pattern almost always accompany depressions; these can take the form of an increased need for sleep, difficulty in falling asleep, or waking up during the night.

Depression can be caused by a number of factors, and a thorough assessment is necessary to work out the cause and nature of the depression, and a way to help bring about healing. Treatment that is effective for one type of depression may be quite inappropriate and ineffective for another.

Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling helps you to make the most of your relationships, past, present or future. Our sense of identity and self-worth is deeply affected by the strength of our relationships and often we despair when they fail. Relationship difficulties are painful and confusing and can impact negatively on the rest of our life.

Our ways of relating are learned at a young age in the family in which we grow up and we can become stuck in unhealthy and unhelpful habits that restrict our lives. It is not surprising that problems surface sooner or later as there are many people who have not been taught how to have a good relationship. Many people have their lives negatively affected by a great range of relationship dysfunctions, including affairs, controlling behaviour, verbal abuse, imbalance of power, lack of intimacy, poor communication, loss of love, relationship neglect, sexual problems, problems from childhood and problems with parenting children, step children and of course, the dreaded in-laws.

If you have been experiencing difficulties in your relationships, despite trying everything you know to improve things, it can be easy to begin to feel hopeless and helpless. I am  trained and experienced  in couple and relationship counselling, and offer a wide range of skills and understandings that can help you to creatively address your relationship problems.

Therapies Offered

Fees

My fees are £45 per session.
I charge for missed sessions unless previously arranged.

Keywords:

Sexual abuse, child abuse, relationship, dissociative identity disorder, depression, self-harn, trauma, post-natal depression, anxiety, stress, bereavement, grief, anger management, eating disorders.

Further Information

PUBLICATIONS

PUBLICATIONS
The impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse, NHS Trust Association Journal, 2009

Dissociative Identity Disorder and Trauma NHS Trust Association Journal 2009

Why do Men Fear Counselling? Melbourne, The Human Systems
Co-ordinator, February, 1997

A Mis-Diagnosis of Mental Health - Melbourne, The Human Systems Co-ordinator, 3158. February, 96.

The Australian Journal of Analytical Psychology
The Piano: A Study in the Formation of The Self Vol. 18 No 2

Quadrant, New York, February 2005
A Very Easy Death Quadrant Winter 2005

Penguin UK
An Introduction to Psychology Pears Encyclopaedia 2005
Analytical Psychology Pears Encyclopaedia 2005

National Health Service General Practitioners Resource Book, March 2005.
What is Mental illness?
What is grief?
What is obsessive compulsive disorder?
What is menopause and mid-life crisis?
What is autism?
What is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder?
What is dissociation and trauma?
What is anorexia and bulimia nervosa?
What is schizophrenia?
What is depression?

Journal of Psychology and Religion,
The Significance of the Emergence of Language and Symbol in The development of the Young Infant. New York: 2006

Journal of Analytical Psychology
Beleville Rendez-vous: an individuals response to Trauma, Journal of Analytical Psychology September 2008

Journal of Analytical Psychology
A Curious Metaphor: engaging with trauma an analytical perspective,
January 2010

Journal of Analytical Psychology
September 2010
An interpretation of Babette's Feast as a Parable of Trauma

  • Supervision available

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