Catherine Sonaram-Taylor Complex Trauma/Abuse Therapist (Individuals & Couples)
Ingledale Therapy Centre
1 Tanhouse Road
0704 090 1520
There is nothing we cannot work through together, to make your life a bit easier. I work as a international trauma and abuse therapist in Oxted (RH8) supporting individuals/couples who are in crisis and are stuck; sometimes you feel there is with no way out associated with trauma; historical childhood sexual abuse or dissociation (detachment from former self after a nervous breakdown, suicidal thoughts, identity issues "Who am I?" Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPSTD). Clients affected by emotional/psychological either as a child or adult with a history of abuse, have been known to develop strong complex issues within their personal lives and in their relationships. These can include hidden feelings of extreme shame, guilt, neglect, rejection, abandonment, including the sudden loss of a change in circumstances at home/work, can be problematic for those around them and chaotic for the individual to manage.
In most cases, despite your best efforts of trying to resolve them privately with medication or receive counselling elsewhere; this to some degree has been unsuccessful. Your problem could include the following associated with trauma and abuse. Such as unresolved trauma; childhood trauma; panic attacks, childhood sexual abuse, low self esteem, trust/acceptance issues, various forms of other abuse emotional/physical/psychological, which involves manipulation, separation, divorce, depression, anxiety and stress, which has left a person with low self confidence in trying to trust people again.
ANXIETY, DEPRESSION and STRESS.These are precursor warning signs telling you there is something wrong and it requires your attention to intervene and address it immediately, other wise if left unaddressed this can slowly turn into trauma. It may mean you may not need prescribed antidepressants as a form of medication from the GP, if you take care of yourself earlier compared to some clients who dismiss or delay looking after their mental health in the hope it will pass with time. How many times do you keep doing this and for how long? When the mind and body are imbalanced in your system, this will continue to the levels a crisis, which neither can cope of are able to carry on any further to the point of detachment, collapse, suicide, self harm or nervous breakdown. At this point clients who are unable to manage such extreme patterns of rupture come to see me and go on to rebuild their lives in a different way to help them to successfully manage a much more productive future.
CLIENT CONFIDENITALITY is very important working within this field of counselling & psychotherapy. I provide support, compassion, patience, awareness and understanding about the constant on going difficulties you face and how bringing these complex issues could be difficult for you.
Clients are referred to me by private health providers (AXA, PP Healthcare, BUPA), including various insurance and EAP companies.
Based on both my experience in working with individuals and couples, specifically related to Anxiety, Bereavement & Loss, Relationship/Marriage issues, Stress, Sexual, Emotional, Psychological Abuse and Trauma/CPSTD.
EXPERIENCES AND SYMPTOMS FELT BY CLIENTS
In counselling some clients have felt depressed or anxious and contemplated suicide at times feeling a sense of loss or despair during their life involving various incidents, childhood school experiences such as bullying or current issues within the workplace, redundancy, separation, divorce, which leave you feeling alone, vulnerable and helpless unable to cope or can be traumatic to the point the client experiences recurring fragmented flashbacks to readjusting back into an independent lifestyle again, after a relationship break up or after a period of separation can lead to personal identity problems.
These can include starting a new relationship or commitment with a partner; intimacy issues associated with trust after an adult or childhood trauma; managing difficult personal relationships, grief associated with different times of the year including on going issues with family members, memories they are struggling to process alone from a recent or historical crisis.
Experiences can sometimes leave a person with a mixture of feelings and thoughts covering some issues of trauma involving self-harm, dissociative state (as though the trauma was happening to somebody else leaving a sense of numbness as though in shock or blank thoughts); nightmares; flashbacks; loneliness; insecure; fearful; isolated; suicidal; withdrawn; distressed and many more. Including experience of working with people who find coping with daily life an issue or are in a relationship/family find they struggle to manage the conflict of a past trauma in relation to a current problem.
COUPLES/RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING - (Please refer to fee's section below)
Managing a relationship in the aftermath of a personal trauma is isolating when you wish to too concern those around you. Especially when current problems are being avoided or ignored by one partner in the relationship and it is hard to carry on alone with all the responsibilities of every day life to cope with. It is challenging to try and want this relationship to continue in the hope some how it will all work out eventually, if only you could turn the clock back and start again. The reality is you cannot, but instead live in hope it would change as we lead busy life styles filled with responsibilities and stresses that caused the partnership to drift apart. I offer a counselling service to support both of you. Difficulties can happen at any life stage in a relationship. Some couples request to work together as an alternative to working separately.
INFERTILITY/PREGANCY & CHILDBIRTH TRAUMA (Perinatal and Postnatal depression)
In many cases, women awaiting IVF treatment who have been told they are unable to conceive for some unknown medical reasons or developed infertility issues struggle to regain their self-esteem and confidence after experiencing a sense of despair and loss after facing such emotional and mental challenges to end in failure. I work with women who have been traumatised by the experience and struggle to face ordinary life again in the knowledge they other future attempts may prevent being successful and it affects both their work life and relationships.
Birth Trauma can be traumatising to mother/father and relatives at the time when an unexpected complication arises before, during after a birth of a baby. Tiredness, exhaustion, unable to sleep and cope with the sudden dramatic emotional/psychological changes following many months or years afterwards (associated with prenatal and postnatal depression). Either parent may feel anxious and fearful about another pregnancy any time in the future; if the trauma is not dealt with effectively it can go on to be a legacy, which may affect you as a individually or as a parent.
Location is in walking distance of the train station (5mins), with main line services from London Victoria; London Bridge; East Croydon.
You can use public transport from Brighton, Caterham, Croydon, East Grinstead, Edenbridge, Horsham, Lingfield, London, Purley, Redhill, Reigate, Sanderstead, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Tunbridge Wells, Warlingham and Woldingham orby car (5mins from Junction 6 M25), free parking is on site or nearby.
Training, qualifications & experience
QUALIFICATIONS AND BACKGROUND
Assessor/therapist in Advance Complex Trauma (CPTSD) and Dissociative Disorders/DID (Diagnosis endorsed by NHS Choices) :-
Associated with vulnerability, exposed, despondent, listless, stressed, lost, depressed struggle to cope with daily life, sense of hopelessness about the future, identity issues "Who am I?"
Sensorimotor Psychotherapist (Managing all aspects of trauma):-
Trauma (Sudden impact in the aftershock of a minor/major incident or life event and remains in a person's system long after the event in various ways.)
Developmental Trauma (Growing up with trauma during childhood, including being unable to develop a healthy loving nurturing relationship with one or both parents).
Somatic Trauma Therapist - (Cope, recover and manage trauma from within the body aimed at relieving and resolving the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder).
Couples/Relationship Therapist -
- sexual intimacy;
- communication problems;
- psycho sexual issues;
- IVF fertility/IVF issues;
- intimacy issues;
- emotional/psychological abuse;
- managing life/death experiences;
- suicidal issues;
- medical conditions within the relationship;
- family members with long term medical issues;
- family/parenting issues;
- court cases;
- life changing events (eg redundancy);
- nervous breakdown;
- severe depression and high anxiety with panic attacks;
- caring for elderly parents can add pressure on a marriage.
Critical Incident Management Stress Debriefing (I provide immediate intervention within days of an unexpected incident, which reduces symptoms of traumatic stress within people who have been directly affected as either a participant or witness e.g. bereavement, suicide, murder, redundancy, divorce, assault, crashes etc. to reduce stress, anxiety or depression, which could develop into Post Traumatic Stress).
For further information, please refer to the website www.clearingthougths.co.uk. or contact me on 0704 090 1520.
I have worked for Childhood Sexual Abuse/Rape Counselling service; a Christian Counselling Service; Mental Health organisation; Male Rape/Abuse Counselling service and as a student counsellor in a college with adolescents 16+ and mature students.
As a member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), I work to their standards and code of ethics; plus I am listed with the BACP website & Accredited Voluntary Register regulated by the government.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Attachment disorder
- Attachment disorder in children
- Child related issues
- Childhood bereavement
- Childhood bullying
- Depression and anxiety in children
- Drug abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Feeling sad
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Panic disorder
- Personality disorders
- Physical abuse
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Critical Incident Stress Management - Clearing traumatic major experiences, which have occurred suddenly in your life or have witnessed, which you had no control over. (e.g someone committing suicide; witnessed a robbery; experienced being kidnapped; being stalked over a period of time; witnessing a death; been a victim of a mugging; involved in a motor vehicle accident.)
Cultural issues within the family or relationships - When you are in love with a person certain expectations are expected of you to be met and in some cases it is not easy to adapt to their way of thinking or behaving in any given moment in their company. How much pressure does this put on your relationship with the person you love? Can you manage or cope with the ongoing issues that influence your partnership?
Couples/Relationship Therapy - Can sometimes disguise underlying issues associated with loneliness, low self esteem, hurt and pain, sadness and can turn into a habit or addiction eg. adult pornography, gambling, drinking, impulse spending, multiple sexual partners and drug use? In partnerships it maybe used consensually between couples, but when does it turn abusive and the other person no longer gives their consent. What happens next?
COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY SESSIONS (60 mins):-
Individual (Inc FaceTime/Skype) 60mins £90.00 - £110.00
(Concessions for students in Higher Education/University.)
Couple/Relationship 60mins £150.00 - 160.00
(Work) 0704 090 1520 (No texts)
PLEASE NOTE:- If I am unable to take your call, please leave either a voicemail message or email me. All written referrals should be sent c/o Oxted address above.
"Very anxious; nervous; low mood due to circumstances elsewhere." (Before) (After) "Much, much better. My mood has increased and my anxiety has significantly lowered. Catherine is a very genuine and caring counsellor. Having someone to talk to who sympathised so much with my situation it was wonderful." - Male 35+, Surrey
"Troubled; stressed; anxious". (Before)(After) "I feel free, refreshed and ready to move on to what my next journey in life looks life or is going to be. She opened me up to different ways of thinking, and how to look at things, but also making me realise I am in the picture too." - Female 40+, London
"Fed up, depressed and needed help." (Before)(After) "Relieved, I have a clearer head and feel more positive about things." - Female 22+, Surrey
"I was put at ease and made to feel like I wasn't being judged. The sessions are deep without being aggressively so and managed in a way that mean't I never felt rushed. Before I felt low, like my existence didn't matter. Now it's like I have a sense of freedom. Much more confident and happy - I can enjoy life. Counselling has been life changing in that I feel like a different version of me. Catherine has opened my eyes up to my problems and causes." - Male 33+, West Sussex.
"I was in a very low place. I had no motivation or confidence in myself. I thought I was all washed up and would like to have retired from life." (Before) (After) "I am so much better now I realise this was not my fault. I have more confidence in myself now. However, I realise have started a journey now and that I have a way to go. I think Catherine has a great strength in empathy for her patients and she seems to how what I was thinking and feeling before I did." - Male 64+, Surrey
"Anxious, unsure, concerned about how life was going." (Before) (After) "Eager to live life and explore, more certain in myself. I got all that I needed and much more!" - Male 22+, Surrey
"Anxious, terrified, scared. I was not going to go on." (Before)(After) "I know how to control the emotions better to help me keep fighting. Catherine was very good at helping me understand why I feel what I do and how to mange it." - Female 36+, London
"Excellent experience, was anxious, stressed and exhausted. Now light, far more content and positive. It was far better than I could have imagined!" - Female 50+, Surrey
"A bit lost, no idea what to do or where to turn with the feelings I was having." (Before) (After) "I feel like I understand a lot more about the dynamics and reasoning for why I have done what I have done or reacted in ways I have previously. I have some now tools to help me with my everyday and a lot to ponder upon." - Female 42+ London
"I felt like a broken, despondent and drifting person. I had contemplated suicide and felt dark and lost. I thought my life as over." (Before) (After) "I feel amazing. Like a different person. I have a clearer sense of direction, I feel more emotionally balanced and in tune, and have a much deeper understanding of me. I would definitely recommend her. I felt she was caring, thoughtful, engaging and insightful. Always on hand if I ever had a crisis." - Male 47+ Surrey
"I was worried for my marriage and very distressed. Now, I am more solid. The quality of counselling was outstanding. So honest and cut through a lot whilst maintaining barriers around what we could realistically do in two months." - Female 40+ Surrey
"Pretty bad...Now, definitely somewhat better." - Male 53+ Surrey
"Very unhappy. In a black hole and knowing how to get out everyday." (Before) (After) "Only fall in the black hole every so often, not all the time. Excellent service, Catherine was warm and welcoming, she listened and understood. I would recommend to anyone having issues. It has helped me." - Female 43+ West Sussex
"I felt my marriage was ending. Catherine got in talking about difficult subjects, and now I have some tools to work with and I am much more hopeful!! Catherine was very good at keep us on course. She has been supportive to both of us. I have personally deal with some issue I was not aware of. This has worked for me personally." - Male 42+ West Sussex
"Quite stressed with a lot on my mind and feeling unable to think clearly." (Before) (After) "Very good. Problems unlocked and my thought process are much more free. Very relaxed." - Male 52+ West Sussex
"Very low.". (Before) (After) "Feel there is hope, and light at the end of the tunnel and belief in I can change and cope with things." - Female 41+ West Sussex
"Friendly, passionate about helping. Easy to talk to. Helped me in a moment of need when I was feeling suicidal, severely depressed, stressed, irritable. After eight sessions I feel better not severely depressed. Happy. Excited about the future. Huge weight has been lifted. - Thank you, you helped me so much in my moment of need." - Male 28+ Surrey
"Catherine has definitely helped our marriage and given us tools for the future. Was despondent and tired; feeling happy, hopeful and excited about the future." - Male 34+ London
"Catherine took me through a process of understanding my stress/anxiety & how to reduce the levels of stress. Very pleased, she challenged my perceptions." - Male 52+ Surrey
"Nervous, but also relief that there could be a solution to the problem. I now feel better, but there is a long way to go. It is a good service and was delivered in a calm, caring tones, but with serious undertones." - Female 34+ London
"It has been far more effective than I had anticipated. I now have a better sense of myself, therefore I am able to control myself better. I feel so much better. I know I've got some more work to do, but that doesn't scare me like it would of done before I started, so that is a fantastic feeling to be having!" - Male 20+ Kent
"Angry, Rage and Broken". (Before) (After) "Calm, focused and seeing things clearer" - Male 28+ South East London
"Very professional and very helpful. Catherine provides an excellent service. I was not very good before, but I am back to normal!" - Male, 63+ London
"Uncertain, scared, tense, negative, suicidal thoughts. - Now I am still uncertain at times, able to cope and reflective. The weekly session with Catherine & my wife was the only communication between the latter and myself. Catherine was able to diffuse heated situations and make conversations more constructive." - Male, 52+ Surrey
"I was very anxious, sleeping very poorly, unable to relax. Now, I feel better on all fronts." - Male, 49+ London
"I felt stressed, anxious, isolated and overwhelmed.". (Before) (After) "More balanced, able to engage with others again." - Female 39+ Kent
"Professional, committed to the success of the client. Very good to link issues or concepts to make it easier to understand. Really enjoyed her services. I was not good at all.". (Before) (After) "Much better, but several tools were shown to me to improve my situation further." - Male, 33+ London
"Overwhelmed and alone.". (Before) (After) "In control and more assertive. Catherine was very helpful and supportive with useful information." - Female, 62+ Surrey
"Very depressed and anxious about the future - trying to make sense of my mums diagnosis and impact or family was causing great distress.". (Before) (After) "Able to cope with the situation far better than before and manage the emotions which have such an obvious impact on me." - Male, 33+ West Sussex
"Stressed, depressed, sad, lonely, angry. - I am calmer, happier and have a much more clear mind. Has given me my confidence back to move forward with life and the decisions I am making." - Male, 35+ West Kent
"I was depressed, lost and scared - I found the process extremely empowering an educational.". (Before) (After) "On top of the world! I have clear vision of how I will carry myself in the future and I am embracing the challenge. Catherine was excellent, professional, tactful and insight-inducing." - Male, 45+ Surrey
"Worried about almost everything in my life. I felt hopeless. Now more positive about life and that my future will be ok. I can learn to deal with things better at home and work." - Male, 35+ Surrey
"Worried counselling would not work. It was far better than I had anticipated was given tools to help with issues that I have previously struggled with. Now I feel more relaxed - not much anxiety - more in control of situations both mentally and emotionally." - Male, 54+ Surrey
"Very happy with the quality and results. I was low; depressed; angry with myself - Now more positive and happier in my journey. Very comforting and straightforward." - Male, 54+ Surrey
"Very distressed and struggling to cope. She has really helped me to focus and think about where I want to go to next." - Male, 29+ Surrey
"Before I was very low - no control over my emotions and very anxious. Counselling with Catherine has been incredibly helpful - even though I was doubtful and resistant, Excellent it is at the same time it took away my anxiety." - Female, 63+ Surrey
"Shit!". (Before) (After) "Upbeat, I view myself in a different way - getting to accept and understand self more." - Male, 53+ Surrey
"On the surface, a mixture of happy and anxious. Not far beneath the surface, I doubted my own worth and I didn't like myself very much.". (Before) (After)"Complete. I feel all the parts of me that used to conflict and undermine each other, now sit together in one happy, self-accepting whole." - Male, 50+ Surrey
"Nervous, exhausted and lost.". (Before) (After) "Less anxious, calmer, more energy and I have clearer thoughts. Excellent service" - Female, 45+ Surrey
"Scared and very panicky about the whole process never had counselling before in my life. Now my confidence has improved and I like the new me who is developing." - Female, 35+ West Sussex
"Stuck in a rut, no way out.". (Before) (After) "Light at the end of the tunnel, more confident, have more respect and thoughts for myself. Thinking of number one for a change." - Male, 61+ West Kent
"I was unsure, overloaded and pressured. The quality of one to one, I felt Catherine listened to me and directed me. I feel encouragement to move forward positively with my goals instead of wasting them." - Male, 35+ Surrey
"Before I felt horrendous. Very experienced and professional therapist, boundaried with an excellent service." - Female, 51+ London
"Broken.". (Before) (After) "I have targets and hope. Catherine gives a sense of peace and allows me to take a step back." - Female, 30+ Surrey
"Anxious, emotional, tearful.". (Before) (After) "It felt important and therapeutic to make "breakthroughs." She is helpful and not afraid to tackle issues." - Male, 47+ Surrey
"Felt that I was understood and given ways to process/deal with my issues. I have very few sleep terrors now, which helps with my overall emotional feeling. Great service." -Female, 27+ West Kent
"I was struggling. Now I feel I have some so far, key thing being its not all about control. The quality was very high, Catherine opened my eyes up to a bigger picture than I realised." - Male, 56+ Surrey
"I was a mess. Now I have more control of what I need to do to improve." - Female, 39+ Surrey
"Poor, stressed, ill.". (Before) (After) "Liberated!" - Male, 63+ London
"She knows her stuff!!! I was nervous before, but I am calm and more relaxed." - Male, 47+ Surrey
"Before a mess and overwhelmed. I feel Catherine listened to what I needed and adapted her approach accordingly. Now I am calmer, more confident with a clearer understanding of the process at play." - Female, 39+ Surrey
"I was incredibly disorientated, anxious and in shock. Now much calmer and grounded in life. I feel the quality of counselling offered and support I received was outstanding. Thank you." - Female, West Sussex 37+
"Very anxious and could not stop worrying. Its been fantastic! Less anxious and I understand I need more time 'me' time." - Female, 36+ West Kent
"Very down and confused.". (Before) (After) "Have a better understanding of how to handle situations through work." - Male, 51+ London
"I was in a terrible bad place - now I am more positive. I looked forward to the sessions and they helped me look differently at things." - Male, 33+ Surrey
"Catherine has challenged my thinking which I have found helpful, especially her honesty - she doesn't give platitudes but instead realistic views." - Female, 45+ Kent
"When I was lost when I began. Able to deal and understand my triggers better; happier, more confident a lot further forward than when I first walked in." - Female, 30+ West Sussex
"It has been difficult at times confronting many difficult situations but I have felt supported and heard through out. It has been a great experience. Thank you."- Female, 34+ West Sussex
"I was very low, there was a lot going on in my life and felt it very hard just to keep afloat. - Today I am a lot more relaxed and in control of most situations and generally very happy." - Female, 55+ Surrey
(Updated October 2017)
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Sessions are held Monday-Thursday in Oxted or via FaceTime/Skype, with the last appointment at 8pm. Saturday appointments 11am-2pm.
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|