Bernie Wooder - Psychotherapist and Counsellor
17 Farrant Way
0208 386 4846
Live, love and laugh again. Learning to do that in our sessions together. As a Buddhist compassion is my guiding principle.
The cost of a hardened heart:
If you let yourself get cynical, you cut off from your heart. You cut off also from the nurture from your soul. Your appreciation is dulled and muted. A flower is not quite a flower anymore. The touch of a baby's hand loses a bit of its magic. Connection with the life force is dimmed, as is the light in your eye. Meaninglessness beckons you towards depression and anger. Then anger management becomes a problem, effecting your marriage and work relationships. - Bernie Wooder, taken from his books "Movie Therapy how it can change lives" and "Psychotherapy, Buddhism and Movies".
I am a qualified Psychotherapist and Counsellor registered with the UKCP, with 25 years of professional experience have included counselling, training therapists at Guys Hospital, London. I am a trained Hypnotherapist - specialising in pregnancy and anxiety issues arising prior to your due date and or after - for both of you as for many men the sense of rejection at this time is very painful and how it is dealt with can set the emotional tone of the marriage for years to come, confidence, self esteem, setting goals for your future and dealing with any kind of fear or failure.
I have a down to earth and a common sense approach based on a full and varied life, of which compassion and empathy are my guiding principles.
If you ring and I don't answer its because I am with a client - I understand it can be difficult to leave a message sometimes especially if you are going through a difficult period, so please do leave your phone number and I will get back to you and we can speak directly to one another.
You don't have to deal with it on your own. Frequent Issues that I will be able to help with:
Have you ever heard or have you ever felt these feelings - 'I love you but I am not in love with you'. This is an important stage for the future of your relationship. Because it indicates that people show their love in different ways and might not know their partners language.
I will help you let go of stress
Stress is the result of you getting yourself into a mindset that overwhelms you which in turn brings on anxiety and barely controlled panic.
- It impedes your optimum performance in any task
- It effects your personal relationships
- And general enjoyment of life
Are you angry with yourself?
Are you angry all the time? Find yourself upsetting your love ones and work colleagues and then you get angry with yourself for doing that but cant stop and it feels there is nowhere to turn? This is a common experience with anger, and help is available.
Thinking of moving in with your partner?
Looking at your compatibility and helping you to see whether you can deal with your partners more important needs. Knowing about how important someones needs might be, and whether you can meet those needs is very important to learn early, and shows good compatibility. I have over 25 years experience including working with couples in Harley Street, so I can give you the benefit of my knowledge to prepare you and your partner for living together.
Over the last twenty years I have worked with many relationship issues. Difficulties with relationships take many varied forms, it can be at work, socially, or boyfriend/girlfriend. For some, it's always feeling like an outsider. For others, it's difficult connecting with people. Others, it's feeling they're not understood. For others, it's not being able to receive compliments or nurturing in any way. Subsequently their confidence and self esteem is greatly affected. Feeling lonely, even in a group or at a party, is another.
All the above share the feeling that everyone else is OK and finds it easy, which only makes you feel worse. So we will work together as a team to discover what you need, or what may need to be expressed or learnt.
The film "The Way We Were" sums up a feeling many couples experience when things in their relationship start to go wrong. Deep hurt, sadness, anger, betrayal and confusion are just a few of the many feelings that can come up. Many questions also haunt you, such as "How will it affect the children?", "What am I doing wrong?" and "Where will this all lead?".
I provide a space and 25 years experience for you to explore these feelings and the questions with compassion and fairness. It takes courage to save your marriage or relationship. A fresh, non-judgemental approach can really help you see negative patterns of your behaviour and your emotional blind spots. And finally, where you may not be communicating properly. Many people are surprised that talking is not necessarily communicating.
I have just lost someone dear to me.
This is where you will need the most support, gentleness, understanding and space, whilst you go through the stages of grief which often last a year, some people its less and some people its more. But you need to know your not alone at such a painful time and that you can have someone you can connect with heart to heart. And because of the feelings and memories it brings up in you, you may not feel you can not speak to members of your family about it, either because you find it to intimate or you have realised they are going through exactly the same as you and you don't want to be a burden.
My future looks dark and I don't know where to turn?
First we will do some exploratory sessions to discover your options. We will then look at where they may conflict. With my support and experience we will work together as a team to find the best way forward and your life will gradually brighten.
I'm always under pressure and stressed out.
Our focus would be on your attitudes to what you do in life. Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel driven? Do you feel overwhelmed? The answers to all these questions will help you to gain control and handle any situation, thus lessening your stress.
I'm not in control of my life anymore.
We would need to explore together what being in control of your life actually means to you. If you have been in control before in your life what has changed?
I feel alone and isolated. Is this recent?
Or has it always been this way? Together we will look at your history in a comfortable, non-judgemental way and find out what can be done.
I need more confidence.
What would having more confidence feel like? How do you see yourself being confident? What would people be saying about you? How would you know when you had achieved it? The answers to these questions are your direct route to your confidence. Together we can do it.
I'm always on edge.
What do you have to be constantly ready for? Is it a form of excitement an otherwise dull life? Although these questions may shock you a little, if honestly answered it can help us to work together for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed.
I'm not managing my life in the way I want to.
There is an old saying "if you are not managing your life then somebody else is" Is this true to you? If it is why do you allow it to continue, if it isn't did you ever manage your life? If you did what changed? Circumstances, you or both?
I'm frustrated because I am not achieving what I want to in my life.
You need help and support. To identify your goals, identify the heart of your frustration and the way you are going about trying to achieve your goals. Together we will work out a step by step plan for achievement of your goals and eliminating frustration.
We all feel 'down' from time to time.
Everyone feels 'down in the dumps' occasionally and there is often a simple explanation - we're unwell, under pressure at work, there's some conflict at home, or maybe someone close to us has a problem and we worry for them.
Often, an enjoyable night out or just a chat with friends can put it all into perspective and we can face another day refreshed.
But sometimes it lasts more than a day or two...
A problem can sometimes be more serious and seem almost impossible to shake off. It's at times like this when friends and family may not be able to help - after all, they may have their own troubles or even be sharing the same with you.
But who can I turn to?
If you are feeling trapped and don't know what to do, you would probably benefit from an expert's independent and non judgmental point of view.
...You don't have to deal with it on your own
I also have written this book called "Movie Therapy: How it Changes Lives". This is only for people who can use movies and who are moved and inspired by movies. This option is available to those who choose to, but it is not compulsory.
I have also written a recent book called 'No Ordinary Life', please read about the book here on this website.
Training, qualifications & experience
- 3 years training Counselling - Herts Beds and Bucks Pastoral Foundation
- 3 1/2 years Psychotherapy training - Karuna Institute in Devon
- 3 years Bio Synthesis Training
- Master in Hypnosis - Pass with distinction.
I have worked in Harley Street, Whittington Hospital Highgate.
I have also worked for MGM and Warner Bros as a consultant and is an author.
With 25 years of professional experience have included counselling, training therapists at Guys Hospital, London contributing to the UK media; 'All in the Mind' with professor Anthony Clare, two appearances on Richard and Judy plus many other documentaries on TV. On LBC with Jeni Barnett, Paul Ross, Jo Good and Steve Wright in the afternoon.
- UKCP Registered
- Member of the BACP
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Bipolar disorder/Manic depression
- Borderline personality disorder
- Child related issues
- Emotional abuse
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Panic disorder
- Personality disorders
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Other areas of counselling I deal with
- Mid Life Crisis
- Support through Diagnosis of cancer and emotional, post operative adjustment.
- Identifying problems and their solutions
Anyone who has a feeling for the arts and something in any art form (film, music or poem) I can use this as a very helpful adjunct in their therapy.
"When the image and the mind are in conflict, the imagination always wins." Freud.
Its important because the imagination is what is largely used by the hypnotherapist to help the person achieve their aims. And the mind is more open to learning in a hypnotic state and learns quicker. In terms of learning how to live with fear and anxiety in a hypnotic state, you take in those lessons much more deeply and I will show you how to do it.
Much of my work is with pregnant women. I help them face the oncoming birth of their new baby and deal with any anxiety and fear, in which I will help them through relaxation and bring all the resources to help them from their unconscious mind. I found this approach to be very successful in calming prospective mums down, so that they can have some peace of mind and just trust that nature has built their body to do this from the beginning of time and it knows what to do. Anxiety or fear can get in the way, and lets face it, its a miracle that only women can enjoy and not everybody gets the chance to experience a miracle, so you don't want anything affecting this experience in a negative way. You can send me an email but please give me your phone number so I can return your call. This will give us the opportunity to get a sense of me and how we will work together, and you can ask me questions which perhaps you can't do in an email.
- Behavioural therapy
- Cognitive and behavioural therapies
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive therapy
- Couples counselling
Sessions are 1 hr £60 - please contact me by phone and we can arrange an appointment.
Concessions for Psychotherapy and Counselling students who have to have therapy as part of their current course.
Bernie Wooder U.K.C.P is a qualified Psychotherapist and Counsellor and has helped many people, from many backgrounds put the quality they deserve back into their lives. Bernie focuses on negative patterns in your life - past, present and future - which can inhibit your true self, replacing them with manageable, agreed goals that he plans with you to achieve a whole new perspective.
Parking available in Kilburn and Borehamwood.
I prefer to arrange contact by phone, please when emailing leave a contact telephone number and I will call you as soon as possible.
- Also registered with Hypnotherapy Directory
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|
Supervision & training
I offer discounted to be negotiated supervision sessions for trainees on Counselling and Psychotherapy courses and psychologist and practicing psychotherapists and counsellors.View supervision profile