Nicholas Marshall |  |
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Nicholas Marshall Life Story Therapeutic Centre 17 Eldon Square Reading RG1 4DP View map |
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tel: 0118 958 0806
/ 07743 216625 txt/ v.mail
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Profile
When you’re nearing the end of your tether it’s natural to turn to a fellow human being for reassurance and support. It’s easier to talk to someone who listens to how you really feel - especially when it might be irrational or embarrassing.
The thing that's troubling you touches on various hopes and fears - so you need someone who knows how to help you through it. At really low points, you might simply wish to sit quietly, free to say nothing for the time being.
Nicholas Marshall is regarded as an approachable and highly effective counsellor with a cheerful disposition.
“I’ve been through the wringer myself and I know what its like to feel lost and confused."
- See below for F.A.Q. and a selection of people's experience.
Training, Qualifications & Experience
Human Givens Diploma
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Whatever the particular thing troubling you, we look for those glimmers of hope that provide the way forward. It's valuable to unearth your undoubted strengths and capabilities, as these are so easily overlooked in times of distress.
Fees
£40 - daytime session.
£45 - evening session.
£35 - sessions via Skype, (Skype sessions deposit paid in advance)
Further Information
Nicholas conducts regular Mindfulness Meditation workshops.
He also offers workshops on:
- Assertiveness training.
- Relationship M.O.T.
- Parent and Child M.O.T.
- Presentation skills for interviews.
F.A.Q. - (See below for a selection of people's experience.)
* How many sessions will I need?
Most people seem to need three or four appointments. Some just need one or two. But many people require more. Some people need a boost to get back on track. Others don't have much track to get back on to. Rebuilding those tracks takes longer. The purpose of treatment is to set the ball of recovery rolling. Once it's rolling there are so many ways to keep it going in the particular circumstances of your own life.
* How do I know if you can help?
Talking things over in the confidential and peaceful setting of the Therapy Centre is almost bound to help you, whichever therapist you choose. You're likely to make more progress with someone you get along with, so you might like to make a few enquiries before you choose.
* Why is confidentiality important?
Some of the things people talk about in counselling might lower their standing at work or make things awkward with family and friends. You need a place where this won't happen.
Some people have moved away from abusive partners. You need to know that you are safe.
* Can I bring someone with me?
Yes, people sometimes ask friends or relatives to sit in with them to add to the sense of reassurance, especially at the beginning. They usually develop sufficient confidence after one or two sessions to manage their appointment by themselves. There are usually some matters that need to be dealt with in absolute confidence.
* How do I know its working?
Near the beginning of therapy we talk about the kind of progress you are hoping to make. Then as we go along, you can check to see how well this is happening.
* Why should I see a professional, shouldn't I be able to sort out my own life?
I agree it is best when we are sorting out our own lives. We are equipped by nature with all kinds of strengths and capabilities which help us to do this. But we don't live in a natural setting. We live in an artificial, emotionally fragmented environment, often surrounded by relative strangers. This is not the way we are designed so its hardly suprising things have gone awry. Sometimes we need an extra bit of help.
* People who visit counselling are failures aren’t they?
Training in many professions these days includes negotiation and communication skills, psychological principles and emotional awareness. The visualisation exercises we do are used by top athletes to fine-tune their performance. So, if you prefer, you can think of it as a kind of training course.
* Can Love be found?
If there was a clear cut answer to this question you could look around and see everyone looking much happier than they generally do. - Can we learn to find greater satisfaction in one another's company? Yes definately, there are ways of doing this.
* I am already seeing a therapist, does this matter?
A significant part of recovery is when we start taking more responsibility for ourselves. By talking to a selection of people you can compare what they say and decide for yourself what is effective.
I occasionally see people who are working with large teams of professionals: psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, solicitors, drug intervention workers etc. In such cases I work independently so you can be sure I’m not lending weight to someone else’s agenda.
* Are you going to make me do things I don’t want?
It's natural to be anxious about opening up to someone new, let alone a professional. It puts us in a potentially vulnerable position. I would feel exactly the same. Remember,
"There is no one alive who is Youer than You." -Dr. Seuss
You are the only one who knows your full situation. I do my best to understand what is happening but I have only a limited view of your circumstances. if you think I’m getting it wrong, trust your own feeling on the matter.
Making any change in our lives takes a certain degree of courage. So I might need to encourage you to take some brave steps. What is the difference between something you find hard and something that's not right for you? You will learn to trust your own feeling about it.
* I missed some appointments and I fear I’ve let you down?
I’m glad you feel bad about it! It shows you still care about how you’re doing. It might help you to know about the ‘CYCLE OF CHANGE.' This shows that recovery goes round in circles. There are times of improvement, then times of slipping back. Very few people simply change their situation all in one go. You might feel guilty or embarrassed but chances are you're just somewhere around that good-old cycle of change. Why not re-book your appointment and we’ll take it from there. Of course you will have to pay the cancellation fee if the cancellation wasn't notified within 24 hours.
* What if you laugh at me?
If I do, at least your problem will have made someone laugh!
Remember, your problem wouldn’t be the problem it is without the power it has to make you feel embarrassed or guilty.
Some problems have a way of fooling us. They stop us doing important things in our lives, but when we start to seek help, they turn round and say, "This is only a trivial thing, it’s not worth bothering a therapist with, he’ll just laugh at you and tell you to pull yourself together.” You might be surprised how many people have been allowing ‘trivial’ things to stop them with important parts of their lives.
Speaking out loud so often makes the problem lose the power it once had. You can really look forward to the relief you will feel by taking that courageous step.
*** A Selection of People's Experiences: ***
* “We looked in detail at what kind of situations triggered the craving to drink. We worked out different ways to handle each type of situation, what to do, what to say to people. At the same time I started planning enjoyable time at weekends with my partner, instead of leaving it to chance. I achieved the longest alcohol/cocaine free period in my adult life." -John
* "I found I was able to be honest.” -Claire
* "The legacy of abuse made it very difficult to be affectionate with my own children. As we talked I began to see things in a different light. This made it possible for me to hug my daughter, which I couldn’t do before. It was awkward at first, then it felt natural." - Angela
* "I had been stuck in the same job for years. I had no confidence about interviews or presenting myself. We spent time during the sessions practising interview skills and I began to attend interviews. My confidence built up, even to the level where I felt able to turn down offers that didn't fit my other plans, instead of just accepting the first thing that came along." - Robert
* "I was traumatised after a car accident. The anxiety spread so I became afraid of doing other things. After just one session my confidence began to return. We rehearsed the idea of doing one of the things I had become afraid of - and I did it!" - Steve
* "Whenever I tried to discuss contact arrangements with my ex-husband the conversation got out of control and turned nasty. During the sessions I practised ways to be more assertive. Later when I picked up the phone, amazingly he found himself agreeing to bring the children round at the agreed time." - Jenny
* "The children were having tantrums, and I felt like a completely useless mum. The therapist encouraged me to focus on the emotion going on behind the outbursts. The children now confide things that are bothering them before it all blows out of proportion. I feel like I know what I'm doing now." - Mary
* "When me and my husband walked into the session I thought the problem in our family was my drinking. I walked out knowing it was the way he and the others were trying to control me. I've got my own job now, and my own bank account." - Linda
* “When I lost my house, partly as a result of my drinking problem, I was distraught it all seemed hopeless. The counsellor told some ridiculous story and I actually burst out laughing. Nothing had changed but I walked off with a smile on my face and some fresh ideas.” - Keith
* "There was always an undercurrent of rage. I would patrol my friends making sure they weren't dis-respecting me. I learned ways to calm and control the anger. I came to realize that others do not control the whole truth about me." - Melissa
* "I couldn't say the sessions helped my problems directly. But I enjoyed coming along and it's given me some stability whilst I come to terms with things for myself." - Dan
* "I was practically a prisoner in my own bedroom, such was the level of fear after an ex-partner attacked me outside my doorway. The therapy helped that awful memory to recede into the background. I was able to go out normally again, take the bus and get back in touch with friends and family." - Kate
(Names have been changed to protect confidentiality)
