Brenda Clowes MBACP COSRT

Brenda Clowes    MBACP  COSRT

176 Princes Road
Buckhurst Hill

020 8505 8328 / 07943 335954

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176 Princes Road
Buckhurst Hill

020 8505 8328 / 07943 335954

About me

Couples Counselling and Sexual Therapy are my main areas of work (I trained with Relate in Marriage Guidance, adding Sex Therapy and Infertility Counselling qualifications). If your partner is uncertain or unwilling to come I will see you alone so that you can speak about things from your side of the picture. Often partners soften when they see your commitment. I also welcome people who are looking for Individual Therapy.
Supervision for counsellors and consultations for supervisors is another part of my practice. I continue to believe in the process of counselling to help us with personal development and problem solving, and as couples to find out what drew us together and to reconnect and develop our strengths even more.

What sort of problems do couples want help with?

Could be continuing cycles of argument and a hopeless feeling of being back in the mire again, or family issues such as the adjustment from being a couple to being parents, problems with in-laws, or teenage children, roles and unfairness, etc., blended families, or it could be a crisis like an affair or illness. The sexual relationship, or lack of it, and sexual addiction, can be very sensitive issues. Many couples know that they love each other and want to stay together but are struggling to find way. Some couples have had thoughts of separation but want to leave 'no stone unturned'. Couple counselling is a very practical and acceptable way of solving problems.

Couples with whom I have worked tell me they find it is easier to say difficult things when they are with me, to expose the hurts and to discover what are the real concerns and hidden issues behind the trivial triggers, scorekeeping and avoidance which goes on. Help with listening and responding dissolves the defensiveness and builds trust or rebuilds the trust that has taken a hammering.   Vulnerability then can be experienced as blessing and draw you closer.

Uncovering resentments and unspoken wishes happens more readily in a place where someone is there to make it safe. Often the current situation has triggered some feelings and behaviour experienced in childhood. Understanding the connection we are freed to use our adult selves to solve the problem that our child self was too helpless to do.

Talking about sex may have been impossible or too embarrassing but it is surprising how valuable it is to open up when you feel safe and encouraged.

Discovering insights in to yourself as well as your partner, and things you may not have known, is exciting, and rediscovering each other is uplifting.

Finding other ways of doing things happens more easily when goodwill has returned.

I know what courage it takes to lift the receiver or email someone out of the blue. Once you have taken the step you can make an appointment there and then or if you would like to have a telephone conversation about the problems you are experiencing before you make a decision to go ahead with counselling I will be pleased to speak to you. If I am not available please leave a message or text me and I will get back to you. I hope you feel that you can.

Please visit my website and you can read the articles on this website 'The Creative Process in a Couple', and 'Whatever has happened to sex', which gives you an idea of how I think.


I have daytime appointments on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Evening appointments are 6.00pm, 7.15pm and 8.30pm on the same days. Appointments are for one hour and usually at weekly intervals.

Training, qualifications & experience

Marriage Guidance Counselling
Sexual & Relationship Therapy COSRT
Fertility Counselling London Hospital Medical College
Marital & Couple Counselling & Supervision RELATE.
Continuing professional development COSRT, TCCR, BACP, ATSAC
Accredited Counsellor COSRT (college of Sexual and Relationship Counselling)
Senior Accredited Supervisor BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy)

Member organisations

Registered / Accredited


Accredited register membership

Other areas of counselling I deal with

Effects of family on relationships
Age related issues
Sexual problems particularly female issues
Sex therapy
Falling out of love

Photos & videos

  • Brenda Clowes    MBACP  COSRT image 1
  • Waiting Room


£60.00 per hour for individuals

I offer a reduction on some daytime appointments

£70.00 per hour for couples

Further information

I am an Integrative Counsellor, which means all of the theories (or ways of looking at life) have relevance to me and I will use all, or something from each of them.

THE PSYCHODYNAMIC APPROACH to therapy takes into account the influences of the past and how our internal conflicts, maybe from childhood, are adding to the anxiety in the present. We cannot change the past but we can undo the effects of the past in the present which may be having more of a damaging effect than we are aware of.

MARITAL INTERACTION when applied to couples the question is 'What is the marital 'fit' ? 'What were the qualities that made us believe we would be able to give to and receive love and support from this person based on our life's experiences' and 'What didn't we want?'

SYSTEMS THEORY believes that we are all a system within ever increasing systems (couple, family, community etc) and the whole affects the parts.

BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY Aims to modify the behaviour rather than looking for underlying causes
Behaviour and responses are learned and therefore can be unlearned

CLIENT CENTERED THERAPY is growth oriented and forward moving, the theory being that by listening and reflecting back your thoughts and feelings and being congruent (in tune with and able to use our own reactions helpfully) you may develop a greater skill of listening to your own thoughts and feelings and then be able to take action if that seems appropriate.

You may find one theory means more to you than another

I welcome new supervisees (details are on a separate page).

Maps & Directions

Buckhurst Hill, IG9 5DJ

Type of session

Online counselling: No
Telephone counselling: No
Face to face counselling: Yes

Practical details

Sign language: No
Other languages: None


Daytime and evening appointments available on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Types of client

Young people
Older adults
Employee Assistance Programme

Supervision & training

I have been a BACP accredited Supervisor for 25 years and am currently supervising  counsellors working in many settings including Bereavement Services, Infertility Clinics, Psychotherapy Clinics, NHS Sexual Health Clinics,  and Couple Counselling and Psychosexual and Relationship Counselling in Private Practice and Individual Counselling in Private Practice, in short or long term work.

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