Why can't I have the relationship I want?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Gia Reale B.A. Hons, PGCE, DiplCouns, MBACP (Accred)
12th March, 20140 Comments
Magazines and the internet are full of advice on how to have a successful relationship, but what they don’t tell you is that this is nowhere near as easy to achieve as they make out.
It can sometimes be a mystery to us why our relationships don’t turn out as we would like them to, or why they don’t last. Perhaps you are wondering why other people seem to be able to have that happy relationship that seems to elude you. Maybe you have noticed that each time you start a romantic relationship, you think you have chosen a different type of person - then, as time goes on, you find that the relationship ends up following the same pattern as the one before. You begin to get discouraged and think that you will never have the relationship you would like to have. No-one likes to think they can’t succeed when it seems so easy for everyone else. Generally, we tend to repeat our patterns - and because we don’t understand why or how it keeps happening, the pattern keeps repeating.
You might think you need to go to couple counselling to find the answer; but, as the pattern belongs to you, it is possible to work on this one to one with the counsellor you choose. With the help of a counsellor who works with relationships you can begin to understand why you keep behaving in this way. When you can understand this, you can make a choice to change the pattern, which is the first step towards better relationships.
Related articles from our experts
- Are we too different? Does difference always meet discord in relationships?
Priscilla Short. BSc, MA, MBACP, MBPsS16th February, 2017
Graham Allen Bsc (Hons) Psychology, Dip Psych, PGCE, Reg MBACP (Accred)16th February, 2017
- Better relationships - better life
Tom Bailey (MA; Dip CP; Dip Hyp CS)14th February, 2017
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.