What is the perfect relationship? Is it possible?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Teresa Mulvena, CBT Cert, MA Counselling, MBACP (senior accredited)
21st March, 2009
Is the concept of having a soulmate something we should pursue, or is it a myth?
These are important questions for us all. We all long to be understood completely, and to feel that our partner gets us. Falling in love gives a sense of connectedness, and brings energy and hope. There is a sense that this person will complete you, make you whole. Eventually the other person’s ordinariness comes through, and a sense of disillusionment that they are not perfect. Along with this comes the fact that we are separate human beings and so conflict is inevitable. The real challenge is what you do with that conflict:
Are you able to meet someone half-way? Or must you always be in control? For others the issue might be running away from any disagreement and therefore never resolving issues.
Our relationship with our partner largely depends on how we feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves is shaped to a large degree by our upbringing. Our choice of partner says a lot about what we feel is missing in ourselves.
Therapy can help make sense of our mixed feelings towards a partner and can lead to improving a relationship, or can help you decide whether you want to continue in a relationship.
Related articles from our experts
- Abusive relationships: A complicated kind of bond
Jo Baker16th November, 2017
- Setting boundaries in relationships
Greg Savva, Counselling in Twickenham & Whitton, Masters Degree, UKCP,16th November, 2017
- Relationship boundaries
Jayne Phillips, Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, Dip Couns, MBACP Registered9th November, 2017
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.