Trust: its importance in relationships

Building trust is simple, we give trust by keeping our promises. Whether that’s meeting someone, calling or texting them, supplying them with certain information or helping them, these acts all add to your trustworthiness. Sometimes it’s inevitable that we can’t keep promises due to circumstances beyond our control, but these instances are usually few and far between and it’s likely the person you’ve let down will understand.

The important thing is never to make a promise that we don’t intend to keep and to explain if we may have difficulty in keeping a promise. It’s far better to decline an invitation politely rather than simply not show up. If we think that we’ll have difficulty in keeping a promise then it’s important to explain this at the outset: this way we don’t mislead or disappoint others needlessly. People always know where they stand with us.

Who can we trust?

Similar to how we build our own trustworthiness, finding out who we can trust is simple too: does a person keep their promises? It’s important here to look at the actions of a person rather than what they say as this will demonstrate truth. Do they turn up when agreed? Do they show support when it’s needed? And most importantly, do they offer a confidential ear to listen?

How to deal with mistrust?

This can be a difficult one, especially if you desperately want to trust a certain person. To avoid causing ourselves disappointment, anxiety and frustration, try not to depend on said person as it’s likely they can’t deliver and the result will cause you emotional turmoil.

However, by doing this we are to some extent trapping ourselves in a vicious cycle, particularly if the person of distrust is a partner, colleague or family member, who is a common part of your life. In this case, talk therapy with a registered relationship counsellor is an effective form of therapy to help identify the issues from both parties and move forward.

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