Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Virginia Sherborne MBACP (Accred.)
28th May, 2010
When your teen asks for something that immediately strikes you as horrifying, don’t react! Say you would like a while to think about the issue, and that you will get back to them.
Really analyse for yourself privately exactly what bothers you about it. Are you just reacting out of habit? Because YOU weren’t allowed to have/do this when you were a teenager? How far does it touch your actual beliefs and values as an adult in the 21st century?
You may be surprised to discover that really you don’t actually disapprove after all, in which case, tell your teen. Or you may realise that it truly does bother/offend/shock you, and now you are in a position to give a reasoned, thoughtful response.
Your teen will respect the fact that you didn’t give a knee-jerk reaction, but were prepared to think it over. It shows them you value them enough to take that time.
Related articles from our experts
- Parenting styles
Jen Warwick MBACP Reg, Grad Dip (Counselling), Grad Dip (Psychology)13th June, 2017
- From trauma induced complex PTSD towards healing
Zara Eadie MSc, BSc (Hons), MBACP, Dip Integrative Counselling, Guildford6th June, 2017
- How childhood neglect can result in problems in adulthood
Vickie Norris MSc, (join me at free talk on CBT 26th June in Epping)9th May, 2017
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.