The Truth and Nothing But the Truth!
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Anita Jackson
9th July, 2007
What is your truth? Do you love yourself enough? If you’re not sure, you will find this useful…
In our relationships we must have balance eg having fun, laughing, playing, exercising and eating healthily. This really honours ourselves within the relationship. The truth is, we must love ourselves first before we can truly love, care or support our loved one. To have a good relationship and make love work, we must be good role models, lead by example and be who we truly are.
For me, part of being who I truly am in a relationship is about truth. Now there are two sides to this: being truthful and being true to myself. Being truthful is really knowing deep down what my truth is and being true to myself is knowing what and who I am, what my beliefs and values are and what I want to be, do and have in my life. For me, this means acting and speaking from my heart. Just try it, speak as if your heart is doing the thinking and speaking.
As we speak from our hearts, we connect with our higher unconscious and the universal unconscious. We also connect more lovingly with our loved one. For me, this seems to bring a sort of peaceful knowledge that I am right for me and there is no struggle or confusion about getting it right or wrong for my loved one; I just know the message or what I am doing is right for me in that moment. This could evolve and change.
It is really important in relationships to make “I” statements and this enables us to be who we truly are. By making “I” statements, we take responsibility for who we are, how we feel at any given time and no blame is attributed to our loved one.
Fear can keep us stuck and unable to move forward in our relationship. We may be scared to say how we truly feel, what we want to do and/or what we want to have. Notice this and stay focused on what you want to say, do or have. It is important not to focus on the fear. I have found it useful to practise saying what I want to say out loud and in front of a mirror. I have also found it useful to have an image of the person ie my loved one, and say what I want to say, step into them as if an actor stepping into a role on stage…really feeling, standing, speaking and acting as they do…and get some feedback from the image person. If necessary, I adjust what I am saying and try again.
To practise saying or doing something that would be more true to me, I hold an image of myself on the cinema screen of my mind and see myself saying or doing what I want. Before practising saying or doing something, I might think of someone in a film or play that I have seen doing or saying something similar. Or, I might think of someone I know, like a friend, who has successfully said or done what I want to say or do. I then act as if I am them in my imagination. I move my body how they do. By doing this, it will give you a completely new way of being and acting with your loved one. You then have the choice…to stay with your current way of being and doing or to actively choose the new way.
Copyright 2007 - Anita Jackson. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all the links active, do not edit the article in any way and give the author credit.
Anita Jackson, speaker, counsellor/psychotherapist and healer, is the Author of Rekindle The Magic In Your Relationship! Making Love Work and has been featured in The Times of London, interviewed on BBC Radio, Sky TV and other media.
If You can Imagine Finding The Essential Steps to Completely Transform Your Relationship to its Highest Potential...Well…You Can Now By Going to www.rekindlethemagic.com and Finally Claiming Your Heart and a FREE Chapter of the Book PLUS Weekly Relationship Help and Hot Tips.
Anita is the Love Wizard who Provides Honest Guidance and Reveals The Secret You Must Know to Completely Transform Your Relationship to its Highest Potential.
Inspired by personal loss, abuse and divorce, this Relationship Expert’s message of perseverance, willingness to risk and transformation of oneself and one’s world touches on every aspect of life, from the physical and mental to the financial and spiritual. Now, let her speak to you about the possibility of growth, reward and secure and loving relationships with the people who matter most.
Related articles from our experts
Karin Brauner (Spanish/English) MBACP, MBPSNovember 16th, 2017
Anna Jezuita (MBACP) Relationship Reconciliation,Counselling, MindfulnessNovember 6th, 2017
Nicholas Opyrchal MBACP, PGdip Psychotherapy and Counselling, BSc PsychNovember 14th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.