The Hardest Part of our Inner Journey – Celebrating Success
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Rohan Kumar Barua BA (Hons), PGDip, MBACP Accred
19th August, 20130 Comments
On this journey of life, what often gets overlooked and discarded is pausing to breathe and really celebrate how far we have come. Yes, our society does believe in celebrating, but often only for explicit, external and material successes. This has validity, but when over-emphasised we lose sight of the much deeper - and in my opinion powerful - inner developments and changes within us that need to be recognised and celebrated.
In therapy or even in life the most challenging thing for people is to recognise their success and allow it to inform them. Often one is so in touch with the “traumatised” or “wounded” part of oneself that when change happens and new behaviours begin to establish themselves these are often dismissed as freak one-off occurrences. Or the individual may to jump to the next “problem” or “issue“ that needs to be looked at, which often come out as a 'but' statement; “I may have stood up for myself but it was only with my friend, I don't think I can do that with my boss”.
The 'I am' Statement
The hardest part is making an “I am” statement that invites you to own the change. For example, “I am courageous” (if the person has been fearful) or “I am powerful” (if the person has been a victim). “It doesn't feel right”, “it's like someone else is saying this” are some of the comments that clients seeking help may make.
This is why celebration is so important. Taking the time to embrace this new identity, feeling the discomfort and recognising that it is not unpleasant - just something different. Looking at what allowed you to get to this place, what supported you to get here; what did you need? who were your allies? was the result something that supported you? Recognising these things allows you to replicate this in your life and move towards more fulfilment. Going one step further, you may also wish to have an external celebration, however small or large, to symbolically recognise this moment.
It is my hope that this article makes you pause and reflect on positive changes in your life and how you have allowed them to nourish you.
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