Taking steps to change your life
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Trish Walker MBACP(Accred), PG.Dip.Couns, M.Phil., B.Sc.Psych.,
17th November, 20140 Comments
Sometimes something spurs us on to review our life, maybe with some regrets. We wish things could be different yet often don't have the courage or feel 'permission' to change or sometimes just feel 'stuck' and don't even know what we want.
Maybe you are concerned about your health or are confronting the death of someone close to you or even your own mortality? Perhaps you are approaching a 'milestone' birthday or are on the brink of retirement and reflecting on 'what might have been'. Events such as these can provide the trigger for change by making us realise that we only have a limited time to choose the life we want to live.
Some of the most common regrets include 'I wish I'd been able to be myself and not how others expected me to be', 'I wish I'd been able to express my feelings without fear of being rejected', 'I wish I'd given myself permission to be happier'. It is never too late to change.
How we live our lives can be negatively impacted by feelings of low self-esteem - being 'unacceptable', 'different from others', 'not good enough' etc. and this can impact all areas of our lives including our moods, our relationships, work/life balance choices and our ability to be our true selves.
Counselling offers a supportive environment to help you explore these feelings and where they come from. It can provide us with space to really look at our hopes and to come to terms with our regrets. Often, the way we see the world and how we feel about ourselves can date right back to early childhood. For example, a child may learn to become a ‘pleaser’ in order to gain affection and may unwittingly carry this behaviour through to adulthood.
Counselling may also help challenge our outdated beliefs and behaviours that are not serving us well. By working through our issues we may get to be our true self and have the courage to change our lives in ways that our right for us.
Related articles from our experts
- Identifying low self-esteem thoughts and behaviours
Claire Black - MSc, BSc, Dip. MBACP17th October, 2016
- The pursuit of high self-esteem: Part 2
Dr Sarah Jane Khalid12th October, 2016
- A picture paints a thousand words: Using photos in counselling
Angela Keane, PgDip, MBACP11th October, 2016
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