Sharing anxieties reduces your stress
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Julie Crowley
18th March, 20150 Comments
Anxious about your life? Your job, family or social life?
I guess it has been building inside for a while - months rather than weeks or days perhaps, but anxiety can develop quickly over a few days if you focus on 'the problem', or over weeks that keep you feeling 'down' and 'heavy'.
It creeps up on you, you don't realise what's happening, just dealing with it minute by minute or day by day. The thoughts pop into your head, the feelings arise and your behaviour changes accordingly - distant and distracted, or angry and frustrated, upset and worried. All these feelings come with anxiety, but dealing with the underlying issues is important.
If it was your job that's creating the anxiety, do you have someone to talk to - your manager, colleagues to offload to? At home, are the family hearing you when you mention your problem, so you have a sympathetic ear? If it's social concerns - confidence, an event you are dreading or mulling over and over, then again, sharing it with someone can help.
Why does it help to share and air your concerns? It makes it real for one - putting in out into the world, to be heard and acknowledged; it halves the stress potentially because other peoples' ideas can help, put things into perspective again; and it clarifies it in your own mind when you have to explain it, picking your words, recognising your feelings and having that reflected back to you.
Counselling does this if there is a need for distance from those close to you, perhaps because it will affect them. But counselling comes from friends and family sometimes, often people say they feel like they are helping by listening, or offering advice or insights from their experience. People do feel better being heard without being given advice. Writing it down can help too if speaking about it is hard. The same goes for the process of sharing - you may even gain some new insights and perspective too.
Try it and see. Counsellling might help with only one session, or fewer than you think. Anxiety is better opened up and shared.
About the author
I am a qualified personal counsellor and life coach, using both techniques integratively, which has added benefits for you of moving you forward to where you need to be, but if you prefer to simply reflect with me on your situation so you have a clearer mind, then the choice is yours.
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