Sex Education: The Eyes Have It
18th April, 20090 Comments
Rather than start this article with 'the eyes are the windows to your soul' I thought I'd try another track. Just to be different. But I did start this article with that sentence, so I guess I had better mention it somewhere in here.
Anyhow, how are eyes connected to sex? Before we get onto that subject, let me ask you a few questions: is image important to you? Do you look at things and see them as they are or have you lost sight of your goals in life? Are you afraid to observe the future and discover you are in the dark about things and then, when the light is shone on the subject, you find everything is as clear as mud and that life has passed you by in a blink of an eye?
While on the subject of blinking, we blink all the time. Our blink is as natural as our breathing. It wets our eyeballs and helps us think clearly.
Err … what?
Dunno why that is, but I read it in a book somewhere that that's what blinking makes us do. It's like the body's way of 'punctuating' a sentence. Some other book also said that blinking reveals someone who's making up porkie pies (i.e. lies for those who don't know Cockney slang – but if you've been watching Eastenders, then you should be well up with it). Hmm.
Perhaps I should suggest that you use your eyes and that brain of yours and read on. Only if you're interested, naturally.
Eyes are used for visualising mental images, for design, creativity, academia and sexual fantasies. Even blind people 'see' mental images. Apparently. That's why most blind people (blind from birth, that is), when their sight is recovered, want to go back to being blind again. Because they visualised the world as a much more beautiful place. Not that it isn't, or can't be to those who already see, obviously. Certainly, our view of the world can be so incredibly beautiful and so horrendously awful – all at the same time.
As we age our skin sags and creases, but our eyes stay remarkably clear and wonderfully alive. Unless, not surprisingly, we have some kind of dis-ease in them!
When you look closely at your eye it is structured like no other object within your body. Everything else appears to be made up of blood and nerves and guey stuff. But your eye? It's an incredible mechanism. I mean, how does it, or how can it work? Of course a photographer and an optician know the structure of the eye and how it operates mechanically, but what I'm talking about is, how does something so perfect manage to shape images? And how on earth does it relate to sex?
I could delve briefly here into the structure of the lacrimal caruncle – the tear duct – and how that links to emotional energy, but I won't cos that's a little more complicated than what I want to discuss here.
You see, the eye is made up of cones and rods which are the photoreceptor cells – they are the things that see things. Oddly enough (yes, am finally getting onto the subject of sex now), it's recently been discovered that men have more rods and females more cones. Cones see colours, rods see shapes.
This is why you have to be specific when telling a man where something is when he asks where the cheese is. It's no good just saying: "It's in the fridge, darling!" (that is, if you like to call him darling, or if he deserves to be called that, or if he truly is). You can't just tell him it's in the fridge, or which shelf it's on. You have to tell him which corner to look in and what packet it's in as well. As he really can't see it. Honest.
Visually, cones allow you to scan the wider view. Rods are similar to putting blinkers on a horse. So he's not lying when he says he can't find it. So try not to get annoyed with the blessed little darling and start to think it's because he wants you to get up and do it for him. He simply can't help it. Trust me on this one.
I've also noted some other interesting observations. Namely, by those Chinese philosophers of old.
According to them, ailing eyes mean that there's a problem in the 2nd vertebrae in your neck. So you need to go see a person who moves your bones about – one of those chiropractor people, is it? The Chinese philosophers also said that when conjunctivitis, sties and corneas get a grip of your eyes, it means that you have anger and disappointment issues. If you have problems with that, then the Chinese see this as linking to your kidneys - even shadows under your eyes are an indicator for this body organ. Interesting.
Lets take a brief romp around how this all connects up (according to them anyway) and links to the topic of sex.
Your kidneys usually only have a bit of difficulty when your body can't deal with toxic waste levels (calcium may be too high), and that's when kidney stones are formed. Kidneys are linked to the heart in that they both control the blood pressure valves - your heart pumps blood through the body to be purified through the kidneys which operates under a 'pressure system'. Eating too much salt can lead to high blood pressure. Kidneys are also connected to the adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) – and this means adrenaline is affected.
We all know that adrenaline is a hormone that we have to release when we need to cope with stress. When the adrenals are 'drained' through overuse, we naturally get tired (shadows under the eyes give you a clue that something is amiss here).
The kidneys (again according to the Chinese philosophers), store 'jing' energy. Jing energy is the 'root' of life – sexuality.
So I'm saying that sexual energy comes from the kidneys? That was an odd one for me to take on board when I first read it. But when you think about it, I guess it makes sense.
The adrenal glands and kidneys keep our bodies warm, they keep our energy levels balanced and in turn our strength and ... low and behold, our sexual appetites.
When you think about that bit a bit more, you can see the link between the kidney and the heart. When the heart is happy, the sex life is great too. Just as weak kidneys weaken the heart (because the kidneys provide the pressure valve for the heart to pump the blood around), a weak heart (caused by too much sadness, grief and anxiety) can weaken the kidneys.
Then there's the liver's part in all of this. But I won't go into that much depth there, as we'll be forgetting what this topic is all about: eyes.
I think I started this article with that age old saying 'the eyes are the window to the soul' and what is closely connected to the way we express our emotions? Our soul. (Just had a thought there, hope you're not reading this to someone aloud, as you'd better spell those last two words out.)
At any rate, weak kidneys give us a heck of a lot of emotional symptoms that are easy to spot - and guess where they are all linked to how we express ourselves - through our eyes! Think back to that thing I said about mental images and visualise this as expressed in the eyes - fear, panic, paranoia, apprehension, depression. Our eyes mirror our emotions. These emotions, in particular.
So get out and drink more (water) and give your eyes a warm camomile bath treat and eat lots of fish (the omega oils are just under the skin, so you must gobble that up too I'm afraid!).
Again, I seem to have gotten into a massive biology lesson and for that I apologise. I've been side-tracked again. The gist of this article was to discuss how beautiful the eye actually is; at whatever age you find yourself in life, and to see how they were linked to sex.
When you look at a child's eyes, you see innocence. When you look into your lover's eyes, a deep intimacy is revealed. A person who wants to hide their emotions or their guilty actions, doesn't look you in the eye.
Do you get the picture? Is your view tainted - or do we see eye to eye? Is my idea too obscure for you or is your view a little too hazy? Will you look back and laugh at this? Do you see what I mean?
Related articles from our experts
Rav Sekhon MA MBACPOctober 18th, 2016
Louise Gulley PGDip, MBACP, Counselling & PsychotherapyOctober 10th, 2016
Nikki Shephard (FdSc, MBACP)October 19th, 2016
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.